Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
KAI
My thumb traces circles on the back of Jax’s hand as we drive down the street. There’s still hours left of the party, but I don’t want to be there any longer. I just want him, in my bed, none of the outside noise to distract us as we get lost in one another.
There’s always been this forbidden feeling, this inkling of what happens if we get caught, so now, I get to experience him in a whole new light.
The lights from the downtown area flash over his face, illuminating the lazy grin he’s wearing as we go back to my place.
I’ve never brought anyone here, never had a reason to, so this is even more significant to me.
My home is my safe place, but Jax has become that too.
I can’t imagine not having the two intertwined.
We pull in, and I park, our touch only breaking long enough for me to round the car and open his door before his hand is back in mine.
My cock has been painfully hard since we left the party, but as much as I hope that’s the ending for us, I’m not going to pressure it either.
It’s new, fresh. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still hurt with how I went about it all.
Now that I’m able to look back at it, I’m sure there were easier ways, probably a ton of options, but I chose the route, and now, I have to deal with the repercussions.
When we get to my door, I open it and let Jax through first. His hand leaves mine, but he’s in my space, so I’m okay with it.
As if it’s second nature, he reaches into his coat pocket and pops a candy into his mouth as he looks around, the plastic wrapper crumpling.
I have to say, my house is one of my favorite places. The walls are all a light grey, with more big windows to show off the skyline, which is one of my favorite parts of living in the big city.
The best part of my place isn’t that, though, and it’s not the open floor plan, although that’s pretty cool too.
My favorite is all the pictures from all my travels.
There are pictures from Belize, Bali, Puerto Rico, even more local places like Chicago and San Francisco.
Every single one highlights a new view, a new culture, a new time when I was able to be a part of something bigger than me.
I’ve always been welcomed, trying new foods and learning more about something that’s further than my own backyard.
Touch grass, if you will.
Having these experiences is a luxury, something I’ll never take for granted, because I have been afforded these things. But fuck, I am so thankful for each and every moment.
My favorite picture, though, is my newest, and the one Jax is standing in my living room staring at. I walk up behind him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and bending down to pepper kisses along his neck.
“Whe-when did you take this?”
The blue-raspberry from his candy wafts off his breath, and I smile into his hair.
“The first night, when we found that little corner area with the local band and everyone dancing the night away. You joined them, and I snuck a shot. Do you like it?”
“Yeah, I just look so care free.”
“Well, probably because you were.”
“I wish I could always be.”
His turns in my grip, his head resting on my chest as I wrap him in an embrace. This is what I needed, what I was hoping would happen after today. If this is all I get, I would be so grateful for this too.
He shifts, looking up at me, and I take the moment to peck those pretty lips, not wanting to push it but also unable to resist this much temptation.
His lips chase me, deepening the kiss, even letting out a little breathy moan as I reciprocate.
“Jax, if we don’t want this to go any further, we should probably stop now.”
“But what if I don’t want to stop?” His hands leave my back and travel under my jacket, touching my abdomen before going back to my back. It’s like he’s trying to sculpt every line of me, calculating and feeling his way over my body.
“Then I don’t want it to stop either.”