CHAPTER 13
KIERAN
He was nervous. He didn't get nervous before games because he knew he had trained his whole life for that.
He did everything his coach told him to, followed his diet exactly as the nutritionist prescribed, didn't fight with the physiotherapist even when he almost killed him with pain with the exercises and he did his best in every game.
Kieran had discipline and effort on his side. Except when it came to Rila. With her, none of that mattered, she was completely out of his comfort zone, as she always had been.
The last time he was this nervous was ten years ago, on the night of Rila's eighteenth birthday.
Two minutes. It was two minutes before midnight. In one hundred and twenty seconds, Rila would turn eighteen. He had never looked forward to a birthday like this one. And all because he could finally, finally, kiss Rila Hana Hill again.
Earlier, when they were skating on the lake, Kieran told her to meet him at the kitchen door as soon as the day twenty-two began. And there he was, waiting at the back of the house, with a rose of building blocks in his hands.
The temperature was negative, as it always was this time of year in Vancouver, but he could have sworn there was sweat trying to emerge from beneath his hat.
One of his feet tapped the ground repeatedly, the soft snow beneath him muffled the sound, and he had to move his jaw from side to side to relieve the tension and stop the muscle from cramping from how much he had clenched it in the last few minutes.
The door opened at midnight sharp, the automatic light on the wall outlining her silhouette.
Rila was dressed up all in black, the white fur edges of the leather coat and the cap of the same tone stood out against all that dark clothing.
— Happy birthday, Rila — he lifted the rose to his chest and kept his eyes glued to her face, not wanting to miss any of her reactions.
He loved the way that her feelings were written all over her face, and she had no problem showing the world how she felt. And when the dark eyes sparkled with anticipation and the corner of her mouth turned up, Kieran knew exactly where her mind had gone.
She closed the door behind her and stepped forward, her fingers covered by the black glove curling over the hand holding the flower. Then, Rila brought her face closer to his until their breaths were mixing and her citrus scent completely invaded Kieran's senses.
With her lips tantalizingly close, she whispered so only he could her, even though they were alone there.
— Are you gonna kiss me now?
And after almost two years, he slammed his mouth to hers.
That night, Kieran took her to Capilano Park so they could enjoy the Canyon Lights, Canada's most famous light display.
He had gotten a job there in the summer, already thinking about meeting someone who could help him with that at the end of the year. Seeing her smiling and running through the trees lit up with colorful lights made it worth it every dollar he used to bribe the park employee.
The last day of his life that he had been nervous about was also the first day that they had slept together.
When they were in the car after the walk in the park, Rila climbed into his lap during the kiss and told him to take them to a hotel, where they spent almost all night getting to know each other's bodies.
From then on, they began to spend many late nights in her bed, trying not to make noises and not get caught by their parents. It was dangerous and reckless, but the scratches on his back, the gasps she let out, and the way her mouth opened in a silent scream when he made her come were worth it.
He was parked where they had agreed, with the car's lights off to not attract attention and the heater on.
The car's clock read ten past seven, indicating that her shift had already ended a few minutes ago.
Kieran had arrived exactly when her shift ended and was keeping his eyes glued to the emergency room's automatic doors.
But it was a knock on the passenger window that caught his attention, and he found Rila standing outside, staring at him impatiently. He unlocked the car and she slid inside, her citrus scent spreading in the air.
— I didn't see you getting out — Kieran frowned, trying to understand how she appeared there without him noticing.
— I walked around the hospital and used the side exit to make sure no one was paying attention to me — he just kept staring at her — What? I don't want anyone knowing about this.
He started driving to the place he had reserved for them, and when his mouth opened to say something, Rila's hand shot to the car's dashboard and turned on the radio before turning to the passenger window and keeping her attention on the street.
Okay, they would be silent then.
After a few minutes listening to Adrian's random playlist — his friend always had to control the radio, and that selection of songs was the only one that was saved —, they arrived at the Bruins stadium. There was no game that night, so the building was almost entirely blacked out.
He parked in the back, making sure his car was hidden from potential journalists before turning it off and turning to the woman in the passenger seat.
— I don't know how to skate anymore — she took a deep breath and pressed her lips into a line.
— So I'll teach you again — he spoke firmly and held her gaze — Why did you stop?
He had a guess, but he knew better than to make assumptions when it came to Rila. Besides, it could be due to a lack of time since medical residents didn't spend much time outside the hospital.
— I just didn't see why I should do something that would only bring back painful memories — she shrugged and got out of the car.
He guessed right.
Kieran took a deep breath, swallowing the guilt that was stuck in his throat as he got out, grabbing the cooler and a sports bag from the trunk before walking to where Rila stood with her arms crossed and analyzing everything around her.
They entered through a staff entrance that the player knew would be open.
The stadium was silent and empty, the two of them being the only people here.
The ice rink was lit up while the surrounding stands were dark.
The large three hundred and sixty screen in the middle of the ceiling was on and waiting to be used.
It was an important piece for the second part of that date.
— Here, this is for you — he opened his sports bag and took out two pairs of skates from it, holding out the white shoes toward her — They are broken already, perfectly softened.
— I won't wear another woman's skates — Rila crossed her arms and raised her chin.
— They are yours — he pursed his lips to stop himself from smiling at her stubbornness — I bought them and asked one of the guys’ sisters to use it a few times.
Kieran may have done something stupid years ago, but he wasn't stupid, he knew very well that she was trying to make things difficult for him. But he was prepared for that. It wouldn't be a little stubbornness that would make him fail or give up.
— Come on, let's skate a little before we eat.
He left the things on the bench closest to the rink's entrance and they sat down.
The temperature there was freezing because of the ice, but they were both wrapped up enough not to suffer from that.
Still, he handed over a pair of black gloves that he had bought and saw her roll her eyes before putting them in the back pocket of her jeans.
Kieran entered the rink first, sliding backwards so he could keep looking at her, and saw her standing at the entrance with her arms holding the gate.
Rila looked down, staring at the skates on her feet, the thick black strands forming a curtain around her face, preventing him from seeing her expression.
When she lifted her head, dark eyes filled with melancholy met his. The irises shining with hurt made Kieran grit his teeth as a weight formed in his chest.
However, she didn't say anything, just lifted her chin, locked eyes with him and took a step onto the ice.
Silently, he watched her hold on to the sides of the rink to keep herself stable.
Skating was like riding a bike, it might take a while to get used to it again, but no one completely forgot what to do.
Kieran tried to catch her when she let go of the support and lost her balance for the first time, but Rila glared at him and raised a hand between them to keep them apart. So he just followed her patiently across the ice, always prepared to dart to her side if she started to fall.
They stayed at the rink for about twenty minutes, Rila sliding away every time he skated a little closer. It was like playing tag on ice, except they both knew he could catch her if he really wanted to.
— So, is there anything to eat in that cooler or are you planning to starve me so I don't have to reject you at the end of all this?
Kieran thought about not holding back his laughter just because he knew it would make her angry, but he also knew when not to poke a hornet's nest.
— This is a plan that didn't even cross my mind since I play to win — he spoke with a small smile tugging at one of the corners of his lips — Let's go, let me feed you.
They got out of the rink and removed their skates before Kieran guided them to the seat at the top of the stadium, as high as possible and with the view he needed them to have.
— Here — Kieran took a gray blanket from his sports bag and leaned towards her to spread it on his lap, feeling Rila's gaze on his cheek as he arranged the fabric.
When he was satisfied, he opened the cooler and took out two containers, all wrapped in aluminum foil. He left it to cook at the last possible minute to make sure the food wouldn't be cold when they ate it and the aluminum foil was an extra guarantee.
— Pancakes? — she looked at him with surprise that became even greater when he corrected her.
— My mother's pancakes.
He knew how Rila loved her mother's pancakes, so it wasn't hard to think about what they would eat that night. They would basically have a breakfast dinner.
Kieran handed her the food, and their fingers brushed in the process, the contact making his skin tingle.
— Is your mother in town? — the doctor spoke abruptly and he realized that she had felt that too.
He knew Rila wasn't immune to him, or she wouldn't have treated him so angrily since they met again. Someone who didn't care didn't have those reactions. But knowing that with all that irritation there was also some level of desire made him want to smile.
— No, she gave me the recipe — he saw her raise an eyebrow before taking two thermal cups out of the cooler — Milkshake?
Of course he wouldn't forget the strawberry milkshake. He was no amateur when it came to Rila Hana Hill.
She rolled her eyes and picked up one of the cups, keeping it on the bench on her other side as she arranged her bowl of food on her lap.
— Okay, we're ready — Kieran said after taking one last look at her.
— Ready for what? — the doctor frowned and asked as he sent a message to one of the stadium employees.
— For that — he put his cell phone aside and pointed at the screen hanging in the center of the rink.
In the same second, an episode of the vampire series she loved started playing. The speakers were adjusted so that they wouldn't hurt their ears, and the main light was turned off, only the small lights in the seats' rolls remaining on.
During the year they had to keep their hands off each other because of their age difference, Rila said he would need to stop giving her Damon Salvatore look if he didn't want her to climb on him and lock their mouths together.
Obviously Kieran fell into the trap of asking what she was talking about.
So, he ended up having to watch several episodes of the series with her that year.
They spend most afternoons in the living room of the vacation home watching the two brothers fight over the human.
And since her parents were always around, they each sat on one end of the sofa, but the blanket on top of them allowed them to wrap their feet around each other in a secret touch.
That, of course, when Adrian didn't join in and sat in the middle of them on purpose.
— I can't believe this — he heard her say.
Rila was glued to the screen, her mouth slightly open and her eyes wide.
For forty minutes, she kept her eyes on the screen, not turning her attention to Kieran in a way that he knew was deliberate.
She could pretend all she wanted, he was still there.
But while Rila watched the episode, Kieran watched her.
He took in every little detail of her. She hasn't changed that much since they last saw each other almost six years ago. Her features were more mature and her black hair was shorter, but that was it, she was still his Rila.
Her face changed according to the events of the episode, her eyebrows furrowed, her nose twitched, and a small smile appeared on her lips.
And he wanted to slide down the bench and bring their bodies closer so badly.
He wanted her to lay her head on his shoulder while his arm circled her waist, he wanted to caress her thigh and, more than anything, he wanted to kiss her.
Fuck, how he wanted to get lost in her lips until they were both breathless.
But he knew Rila wouldn't let that happen. At least not yet. So all that was left for him was to memorize each of her expressions and continue dreaming of the day he would kiss her again.