CHAPTER 16
KIERAN
Something was wrong.
When Rila got into the car and started opening and closing her hands repeatedly, Kieran began to think that something had happened. And when he started to feel her sidelong glances the whole way, he was sure that something was wrong.
However, he remained quiet, waiting to see if she would let whatever was bothering her out. Although, he had to admit that it was a little worrying to see Rila holding back when he knew how she lived in the heat of the moment.
He didn't feel threatened by the silence, he didn't care that they hadn't exchanged a single word on the way to the place he had chosen for that night. But Rila not speaking her mind definitely made him uncomfortable, as if something in the word was just…wrong.
It was only when the vehicle stopped in the garage outside the house that the silence was broken.
— Oh no, I'm not going in there — she pressed the button to close the doors, locking them inside the car — I don't wanna know your house and you won't know where I live either.
— It's not my house, I rented it for us.
With reddish bricks and white windows, the place was tucked away at the end of the corner. Trimmed brushes and a small, well-kept lawn made the building look like any other house. From outside, it was possible to see the few lights Kieran had left on before he went to get her.
— What?! — she practically screamed, her beautiful dark eyes almost popping out of her face.
— I rented this house for our date. You said no addresses, so I knew you'd be pissed if I took you to my place — Kieran unlocked the vehicle and opened the door, letting the cold autumn air in — But since what I had in mind for our second date required a house, I rented this one.
He didn't give her time to react and got out, going around and opening the passenger door. The player rested one arm on the roof of the car while keeping his other hand on the door and leaning slightly toward her, blocking the cold breeze from hitting her and leaving a small space for her to exit.
— You rented a house for tonight — Rila's slanted eyes narrowed even further, eyeing him from beneath her lashed suspiciously as she unbuckled herself from her seatbelt.
— Yeah — Kieran didn't move when she exited. They were so close that he could see darker brown spots blending into the brown of her iris — Come on, the best part is inside.
He led them to the front door, unlocked it, and waited for her to enter, his heart pounding as he waited for her reaction.
When the idea came up, he knew he would be taking a risk.
She was still a shaky ground to tread on.
Sure, the fact that she had texted and initiated contact the week before was a good sign.
However, Rila had been silent every day since then.
Not even a single mistaken message. Nothing.
The house was cozy with its slightly rustic style. Wooden floors, white floating fabric curtains, paintings, and plants were part of the decor. The place was small and open concept, the living room, kitchen, and dining table were illuminated by indirect lights that created an intimate atmosphere.
Kieran had moved the couch aside to make room for a white duvet on the floor and some pillows. The electric fireplace in front of it was responsible for the pleasant warmth that embraced them as soon as they entered.
— What is this? — she analyzed everything carefully, her eyes scanning the entire environment so as not to miss a single detail — What are we doing here?
— Let's go, I'll show you — Kieran took a step forward, brushing the top of his arm against her shoulder, the height difference between them becoming apparent with their proximity.
They took off their coats and, without another word, he let his hand slide down her back, encouraging her to walk to the duvet. Even with her blouse in the way, his fingers tingled from the contact. Suddenly, the warmth of the fireplace was no longer necessary.
— Wait, is this? — she topped mid-sentence, her body freezing at the edge of the comforter.
Building blocks. He left bags of building blocks and a bottle of wine there. And she knew why. Kieran was sure she hadn't forgotten the building block flowers he gave her every year.
He had spent a good number of hours watching videos of different types of flowers being assembled so that he could continue to surprise her every year. There were days when his fingers would get red and sore from separating the blocks when he didn't like the result. But it was always worth it.
Rila stood in silence as she stared at the boxes on the floor. A heartbeat passed. And another. On the third, she turned her head to look at him. Her lips were pressed together, and her eyes were slightly wide as she took a ragged breath, as if the air was fighting against her lungs.
She glared down her nose at him, and this time, Kieran was genuinely worried. Worried because Rila Hana Hill was quiet. Too quiet. She always had a comment to make, her sassy tongue was another thing he loved about her. And now she had been silent for far too long.
— Kieran — so many emotions poured out of that one word and he realized she wasn't speaking because she was fighting a whirlwind of feelings. That's when he knew it was best to distract her.
He knew her enough to know that Rila had no problem letting her emotions show. So seeing her struggle with them set off a red light in his head.
— I hope you're not too hungry because this time dinner depends on us.
— What do you mean? — she took a deep breath and swallowed hard.
— We… — he turned her by the shoulders and made her face the small kitchen on the other side of the room — Are gonna make pizza.
— What?
— I ordered the dough from one of my favorite pizzerias, and my mom sent me the sauce recipe — Kieran shrugged — Then, I just picked up a bunch of ingredients from the market and now we are ready to cook.
Rila walked over to the white wooden cabinets and surveyed the food spread out there. Two round baking trays sat on the stovetop while jars filled with tomato sauce, three types of cheese, bacon strips, and pepperoni were arranged neatly on the surface beside them.
Just sitting down and eating something wouldn't be enough, it wouldn't give him as much time as cooking dinner. If she wanted to eat, then she would have to spend a little more time with him.
— Building blocks and pizza — Rila said the words slowly, as if she was trying to absorb them.
— Yep, building blocks and pizza — he walked past her and picked up one of the black aprons he had bought.
Kieran stood in front of her and slipped the fabric over her head. Rila stood frozen in place, her gaze fixed on his as he reached up to the sides of her neck to free the black strands that had been caught in the apron.
The room was so quiet that their breathing was audible.
A part of his brain recognized the cricket chirping and the few cars that made noise as they passed by on the street.
The player knew that the world was still outside.
However, he couldn't think or focus on anything other than the woman in front of him.
As soon as one of his fingers brushed against her jaw, Rila shivered, and that was enough to burst the bubble. Suddenly, she shook her head and took a step back as she pulled her hair and tied it into a ponytail the next second.
— Let's get started, I don't wanna starve to death — she marched over to the cardboard box with the pizzeria's logo on it while tying her apron around her waist.
Kieran closed his eyes and took a deep breath before putting on his apron and turning around. He found her holding the lid and staring at the contents inside, with her head tilted slightly to the side and her naturally arched eyebrows raised a little higher.
— What? — he stepped closer, peering over her shoulder and widening his eyes as he saw it — Fuck, Adrian.
The dough was there, but molded into heart shapes. He couldn't help the small laugh that rumbled in his chest. Damn Adrian.
— He wanted to help and I should have checked when he handed me the dough — he explained, making it clear that it wasn't his idea.
— It's cute. Ridiculous, but cute — Rila spoke with a big smile on her lips.
They spent the next twenty minutes assembling and placing two pizzas in the oven. While they waited for the timer to go off, they took off their shoes and sat facing each other on the duvet spread out on the floor.
Kieran poured her some wine, and when he went to hand her the glass, he noticed the same look on her face as earlier in the evening.
— What is it? — she frowned in confusion as she heard him — You've been giving me this weird look since you got in the car. Spill it.
— Your jersey — Rila took a sip of her drink, looking at him over the top of her glass and crossing her feet beneath her thighs.
He just continued to stare, not saying another word, as he opened one of the boxes of building blocks and spread the packages of pieces out across the white fabric.
— A friend was watching your game the other night and I saw your jersey number.
— A friend? — the back of Kieran's neck prickled at the image of her watching his game with another man.
— Yes — she rolled her eyes — I wanted to believe it was just a coincidence. I mean, what are the chances you'd pick my birthday to be your hockey number?
She let out a forced laugh and spoke again.
— When I was twelve, the number twenty-two entered my life and became as important as hockey.
Every time I put on the jersey, it reminds me of why I got here.
It's one of my reminders of one of the most important people in my life — she recited his words from a few years ago when he was asked if there was a reason behind the number he used.
Kieran didn't think twice about asking for a number change a few weeks before he returned to the rink. He knew that if he was going to do it, it would be with twenty-two on his jersey.
— You said that in an interview.
— I did.
— What did you mean?
That was another ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds. She was opening up a conversation about the past, a subject he was forbidden from talking about thanks to their agreement. And, damn, how he wanted to get it all out and explain what had happened that Christmas Eve.
This was his chance, and he knew he needed to be careful, he couldn't just blurt it all out.
— Exactly what I said, Rila. It's a reminder of why I became a star player on a NHL hockey team.
I've never forgotten you, Rila. And that's not the only thing I have to remember you by.
Not that I need anything to remember you, but still.
— Kieran shrugged and the confused expression returned to her handsome face.
He reached behind his back and pulled the gray sweatshirt over his head, leaving him with only a white short-sleeved t-shirt. Then, he raised his right arm and rotated it, exposing the inside of his bicep and making her gasp immediately after.
— Oh my God.
The tattoo marked a small part of the spot, the black lines contrasting with his skin. Right there, engraved on his body, was the Japanese symbol for flower.
He didn't need to get that tattooed to remember her, not when Rila Han was already engraved in his heart for the rest of his life.
— I can't understand you — she said, frustrated and irritated, but without taking her eyes off his biceps — You have all this, the tattoo and your number, to remember me and you never came after me. You moved to Boston, my city, my country, and didn't bother to look for me. It doesn't make sense.
— Who said I didn't? — one corner of his lip lifted at the memory — By the way, you looked gorgeous in that red dress on your graduation day. I'll never forget that damn slit revealing bits of your thigh when you moved.
He remembered his breath catching when he saw her that night. Her hair was pulled back in a complicated updo that left a few strands loose to frame her face, her cheeks were rosier and her eyes were highlighted by makeup. And they sparkled brighter than the diamonds in her ears.
Rila looked splendid, but not just because of her perfectly groomed appearance. In fact, the happiness she exhaled was what had captured Kieran's attention.
— What? — she turned her head towards his face so quickly that he was surprised when he didn't hear a snap — Were you there?
— Did you really think I would miss that?
That graduation was the most important day of her life, there was no chance he wouldn't be there.
So when the semester was ending, he spent days on the university website until he saw the post indicating the graduation date for her class.
It took him no more than ten minutes to book a flight to Boston on that date.
— Why didn't you talked to me?
— Because there was someone else holding you — the memory of the dark-haired man with his arms around her made his blood boil. It was jealousy. Pure and ugly jealousy.
She had moved on. Kieran saw with his own eyes how she smiled at the guy. It was similar to the way Rila used to smile at him. And it was a punch in the gut.
But it wasn't like he wasn't expecting it. When he let her go that night, he knew it would happen, he had tortured himself imagining it over and over again. But the thought of seeing her happy with someone else didn't come close to witnessing it.
And Kieran was selfish that night. He didn't want to be, but he couldn't control his desire for her to be happy, but not happier than how she was with him.
— You seemed happy and I didn't want to cause a scene on your graduation night.
— Yeah, I was. Happy with him, I mean — she picked up the glass again and took a big sip of the dark red liquid.
— So what happened?
Rila shrugged, dismissing his question, but he could tell there was something there from the way her gaze focused on her hand gently rocking the glass. She was holding back the words, and Kieran wanted to hear them.