CHAPTER 10
Kennedy
Having Cameron’s arms around her for the first time in a long time had Kennedy closing her eyes and remembering how right it had felt when they’d first met.
Instant. That was how she’d always described her feelings for Cameron in interviews.
They’d been instant. They’d talked for hours, never having a hard time coming up with a topic but not struggling with silence being awkward, either.
For about the past year, talking about anything real or serious had gotten harder and harder, though, and she wasn’t sure why.
That feeling of rightness just wasn’t there anymore, and Kennedy didn’t know what to do about that.
She hadn’t lied minutes ago in that kitchen.
She loved Cameron and always would; she knew that much.
But being in love was a different thing, and as Cameron kissed her neck and pointed out to a boat on the water, Kennedy wasn’t sure that that feeling still applied.
Maybe they could still get it back, what they had before.
Maybe this weekend could help, or maybe they could go to counseling like they’d talked about before.
The spark could still be there. After all, how could they have gotten it this wrong?
Meeting, falling in love hard and fast, building a life together, which had included them both coming out to the world a year after they had gotten together.
They had been through so much as a couple, and Kennedy wasn’t sure that she was ready to give up on them and what they could be.
She was brought out of those thoughts when her phone rang in her pocket, and she reached for it.
“Oh, come on, Kennedy,” Jessie said from her position off camera.
“Sorry… It’s Zane. He told me he was going to call me about a part. I need to get this.”
“They’ll be here in, like, one minute,” Jessie said.
“Just get some shots with Cam doing something. She can tell you how amazing we are as a couple or whatever. I’ll be right back,” she added that last part to her girlfriend.
“Yeah, okay,” Cameron said.
Kennedy went back inside the house and sat on a stool at the kitchen island before she answered Zane’s call.
“Hey,” she said. “I’m at that double date thing, so I can’t talk long.”
“It’s okay. I can’t, either. I’ve got a meeting with a prospective client.”
“Prospective? I didn’t know you were taking on new clients.”
“It’s a recent development.”
Kennedy looked at the bottle of bourbon on the counter and the vodka, tequila, and gin next to it. She grabbed the gin, opened the bottle, and poured it into a new glass.
“It’s because of Cam and me, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we’ve always kept you busy, but we’re not now, so you have room for more clients.”
“It’s a prospective client, and it’s not just about the two of you, no. I have other clients.”
“Not many.”
“No, but I’m considering adding another agent.”
“You’re adding agents, too, now?”
“Maybe. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that officially, you’re not getting that part in the sperm movie.”
“Please don’t call it that. Never call it that,” she begged and drank the gin straight.
“Sorry; that’s what we have all been calling it. Anyway, they went another direction. I know you knew that from Francine already, but I got the official phone call from her today.”
“Okay. Well, that’s not news. What about the producing or directing stuff I asked you to look into?”
After thinking about Italy that night, she’d decided to see if Zane could get either of them something in a behind-the-camera capacity.
If so, they could at least have something to do and plan a trip for later in the year.
After that, all of this would, hopefully, be over, and people would hire them again.
“So, the TV show is out. Sorry,” Zane replied. “I’m sure Francine thought she was helping, but her guy wasn’t interested. It’s the first season of the show, and he’s directing most of the episodes himself. Producing is open, but you’d have to find something you want to produce. Have any ideas?”
“No, not really.”
“You can just throw money at something, and they’ll slap your name on it, if you want,” he suggested.
“No, I would want to really do it. That’s the whole point: not just having my name on it, but doing the work.”
“I can send over someone with some scripts when you get back; indie projects that haven’t gotten off the ground. There are a ton of them.”
“To direct?”
“Produce. But if you’re producing them, you can direct them, too.”
“How fast can I put together an entirely new project?”
“Next year, if you move fast enough,” he replied.
“Zane, I need something for this summer, not next year.”
“Well, indie movies are always looking for big stars. I haven’t gone that route yet because you were looking for the blockbusters, but I can see who’d be interested in you or Cam taking less pay and giving them a big name for their film.”
“Yeah, do that for me, please. I did indie films for years. I like them. I was just hoping for something bigger.”
“Hey, it could be good,” Zane said.
Kennedy poured herself another glass of gin, drank it down, and asked, “How, exactly?”
“If I can find one that’s in pre-production right now, you can probably film this summer.”
“What are the odds of that?”
“This time of year? Slim. Maybe fall.”
“Fine. Find me something for the fall,” she said, pouring the tonic water from the bottle she opened into the glass this time and then adding gin.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m not okay, Zane.” She took a sip of her drink. “I am far from okay.”
“The double date thing?”
“What do I do here? I love, Cam.”
“I know you do.”
“Yet, we’re here trying to hold us together, and I hate that.”
“This is supposed to help you two find your way back to each other.”
“Well, I screwed that up by saying something stupid in the car on the way here, so now, it’s all off. We’ve never been this far away from each other while standing right next to each other before, and that scares the crap out of me, Zane.”
“What do you need right now? Because I know you keep fighting for work, and I understand why, but maybe you should fight for Cameron right now instead and let me worry about the work stuff.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” She finished her drink. “I’m a little tipsy already, which isn’t good, but I’m here.”
“Oh, shit. Put the drink down, Kennedy.”
“Too late. I finished it. Fuck. I’m going to be drunk in, like, ten minutes, and they’re going to be here in, like, three, if they’re not here already.”
“Get someone to make you a cup of coffee as soon as possible and eat something. Then, sober the hell up because you can’t be drunk tonight.”
“I know. You’re right. Shit. I need to go, Zane. Just… Call me after this weekend, okay? I need to focus.”
“No problem. Good luck, Ken.”
“Thanks,” she replied and hung up. “I’ll need it,” she muttered to herself before she put her phone on silent and headed back outside, finding no one there.
The French doors to the bedroom were open, though, so Kennedy walked along the deck until she heard Cameron’s voice and stopped.
“I fell in love with her right away. I mean, you’ve seen my girlfriend; she’s gorgeous. But she’s also smart, funny, and kind, and I couldn’t believe the Kennedy Gannon wanted to talk to little old me. She’s amazing. I’m lucky to have her in my life, you know. I just love her.”
Kennedy smiled coyly and looked down at the wood of the deck. Then, she inhaled and exhaled deeply and walked into the bedroom.
“There you are,” she said.
“Hey, babe,” Cameron replied from her position sitting on the bed.
“And that’s cut for now,” Jessie said to the camera guy and motioned for him to leave. “I’ll give you two a minute alone to gather yourselves before they get here. I’m going to meet them outside.”
“How much time do we have?” Kennedy asked.
“They’re stuck in traffic, according to the text I’ve just gotten, so probably fifteen to twenty minutes.
Your stuff was brought in while we were outside, so you should have everything in here, and from now on, no one comes into the bedrooms or bathrooms unless you give them permission to do so, okay? ”
“Okay. Thanks, Jessie,” Cameron said.
Jessie nodded and left the room, closing the doors behind her. Kennedy then walked over and locked them.
“Just in case,” she said.
“Ken, you smell like you just soaked your shirt in alcohol. Are you okay?”
“Not exactly. I had a few drinks while Zane was telling me my career was in the toilet, but I realized something.”
“What?”
“That you were right. This weekend is supposed to be about us as much as it is about the work.”
Cameron stood up and replied, “We said we were going to table this until–”
But Kennedy cut her off with a kiss. Cameron had clearly been caught off guard by it and went to pull away, but Kennedy moved her arms around Cameron’s neck.
“Cam, please,” she whispered.
Cameron nodded and returned the kiss. It was slow, but only for a second. Then, Kennedy slipped her tongue into Cameron’s mouth, and everything felt familiar. She remembered how good it felt to kiss her like this.
“Ken, we can’t. They’re almost here,” Cameron told her when Kennedy’s hands went to Cameron’s jeans.
“I just need to touch you,” she said and started kissing Cameron’s neck.
“Babe, no.” Cameron took a step away from her. “You are drunk, Kennedy.”
“I’m tipsy, but that has nothing to do with this.”
“You need coffee and food, not sex.”
“I need sex with my girlfriend,” she said, reaching for her again. “Come on, Cameron. It’s been months. I need to feel you. I need you inside me.”
She took both of Cameron’s hands in her own.
“After months of nothing, this is what you really want? You want a quick fuck while people are literally outside this room, waiting for us?”
“I want us back. What’s so wrong with that?”
“Nothing is wrong with that. But the fact that you think this is the way to do that freaks me out a little bit, Kennedy.”
“You’re freaked out that I want to touch you?”
“The last time we touched was a quickie at best, and I didn’t even come. I… faked it.”
“What? You did?”
Cameron nodded and replied, “I’d never done that with you before; not ever, but I did then because you didn’t even seem interested. It was like you were going through the motions, and I felt guilty that I hadn’t come yet, so I faked it.”
“Jesus, Cam… We promised that we’d never do that to each other.”
“I know. And I felt worse guilt about it after I did, but I’ve tried, Ken. I have tried to reignite that part of our lives, and you weren’t interested.”
“I tried, too,” she defended. “Sometimes, I would come home and put my hand on your thigh.”
Cameron nodded and said, “Putting all of that aside for a moment… You really thought that being clearly drunk, or at least well on your way to it, coming in here, and trying to fuck me fast because we have to get out there was the best way for us to reconnect like that?”
“What’s wrong with wanting to get off with my girlfriend? Is it romantic? Maybe not in this case, but it’s something. It’s something, and we’ve had nothing, Cam.”
“I know,” Cameron said and sat back down on the bed. “I know,” she repeated. “But this isn’t what I want. I don’t want a quickie when we do that again.”
Kennedy felt the alcohol really kick in then, and she sat down next to her girlfriend, putting her face in her hands.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. I just… I overheard what you said right before I walked in here, and I thought… I don’t know what I thought. I found out we had some time and thought maybe that would be a good way to start off this soon-to-be very awkward weekend.”
“I’m not mad, Ken.”
“You’re not?”
Kennedy turned to her, dropping her hands from her face.
“No. I’m just tired. I think I’m going to go out there. Do you want me to make you some coffee?”
“No, I’ll get it. Thank you, though.”
“There’s food on the dining room table. Like, cheese trays and stuff before dinner. You should grab some of that.”
“I will.”
Cameron nodded at her, stood up, and walked over to the French doors. She had to unlock them first, but then she left the room, closing them behind her.
“Fuck,” Kennedy whispered when she was left alone.
She needed to splash some water over her face before she went out there, so she walked into the en suite bathroom and turned on the faucet, glad that she had worn waterproof mascara but no other makeup.
Neither of them had, despite Jessie asking them to, because they hadn’t wanted it to look like a movie.
They’d wanted it to feel as real as possible, and they didn’t use film makeup around their house on the weekend.
She dried her face with a towel and stared at herself in the mirror.
“What is wrong with you? Bad idea,” she said.
She gave herself another minute in the bedroom, choosing to unpack her toiletries and place them on the bathroom sink, leaving plenty of room for Cameron’s stuff. Then, she decided that she had killed enough time, took another of her newly patented deep breaths, and headed out and down the hall.
“I made you coffee,” Cameron told her when Kennedy found her in the living room.
“I said I’d do that.”
“I know. It’s on the counter. I didn’t add anything to it in case you wanted to do that yourself.”
Cameron had learned how to make the perfect cup of coffee for her within just a few weeks of dating, and she had made her countless cups of coffee over the course of their relationship, but this time, she hadn’t added Kennedy’s preferred cream and sugar until it was the perfect color in the cup with just enough sugar to help with some of the bitterness.
Cameron also knew the only exception to that was with Kennedy’s Kona coffee, which required nothing else to make it good.
“I’ll get it in a minute,” she replied. “Are they here?”
“I think they’re just pulling up,” Cameron said. “Jessie’s out there already with the cameras.”
“Okay. Well, maybe I’ll get my coffee now, then, and try to down it before they get inside.”
Cameron nodded but didn’t say anything, so Kennedy walked into the kitchen and saw the cup of coffee along with her two dirty glasses. She put the one from the bourbon into the sink and reached for the one that had had her gin and tonic in it earlier.
“Who am I kidding?” she asked no one in particular and filled the glass.
She took a sip of the coffee without adding anything to it, waited a moment, and took a drink of her gin and tonic. She had sobered up in the bedroom when her girlfriend had rebuffed her advances. She could use another drink to get through the weekend now.