Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
Why does she seem horrified that we’re neighbors?
Sure, this wasn’t how I planned on introducing myself as Sutton’s neighbor. I specifically remember wanting to have cookies, but sometimes things happen and you just have to go with the flow.
Pizza is better than cookies anyway, right?
“I’ll leave the door unlocked, and you can just come in when you’re changed.”
“Uh, okay. Yeah that–shit.” I look over and see her fumbling her things before looking at me with a strained smile. “Sounds good. Give me ten minutes?” She doesn’t wait for me to reply before she hurries inside her apartment and closes the door.
I rush into my apartment, double checking the state of my living room. Kendall and I keep a tidy place most of the time, but sometimes after a long week of practice, like this week, we let things build up.
I quickly load my dirty dishes into the dishwasher and wipe down my counters. The coffee table in front of the couch is piled with controllers, so I move them to the bottom shelf of the entertainment center where they belong, then set the pizza boxes and some plates and napkins on top.
Sutton knocks three times, before shyly opening the door and peeking inside.
“Come on in. Welcome to my humble abode.”
Thank god Kendall’s out tonight. Hopefully he doesn’t decide to bring anyone back, because if Sutton heard him fucking someone, she’d probably never look at him the same way again.
She steps fully inside and closes the door.
She’s changed into a pair of comfy looking forest green sweat pants with a matching sweatshirt, and her hair is held up by a silky looking pink scrunchie.
Her hazel eyes roam around my place, taking everything in.
I didn’t realize how bare it looks, but Kendall and I aren’t exactly interior designers.
Hell, I’m surprised he has a bedframe and a full set of matching sheets.
“I’ll be honest, I was expecting it to look a little like a frat house in here.”
“Valid concern,” I laugh. “In college, I learned very quickly I don’t like to live in a cluttered, messy space, so I keep it clean, but I’m not much of a decorator. Come sit, eat some pizza. Do you want anything to drink? I have sparkling water, lemonade, or regular water.”
“Regular water is fine, thank you.” She gingerly takes a seat on one end of the leather couch.
It feels unbelievable to have her here, especially since I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ask her to grab dinner again. Before I get caught staring at her like a weirdo I turn to grab our drinks from the kitchen. Why am I so nervous that she’s here?
This is Sutton.
We never had any issues talking before. Even when she was still getting used to being around our family, she was always so easy to talk to. The closer we got, the more we talked, and the easier talking to her was. I hope we can get that back.
When I sit back down, Sutton’s staring at the wall that our apartment shares, like she’s trying to figure out a puzzle. The couch dipping as I sit down pulls her attention back to me, and her cheeks take on a rosy hue.
“Do I need to turn the air conditioning on?”
“What? No. Why?”
“Your cheeks got a little red, so I wanted to make sure you weren’t too hot.”
Her flush deepens. “Nope. I’m good. Thanks. So, what kind of pizza did you get?”
Sensing her need to move on, I open the pizza boxes and show her the options. She takes a slice of supreme and chicken bacon ranch, along with a breadstick, and settles back on the couch.
I’ve been looking forward to trying this pizza place all week. I grab two slices of supreme and a breadstick, groaning deeply when the buttery, parmesan and garlic flavor hits my tongue.
Sutton suddenly starts coughing, and takes a drink of water.
“Are you okay?”
She clears her throat and nods, taking another drink, and we continue to eat in silence.
“Wow,” Sutton mumbles halfway through her first slice. “Where is this from? It’s incredible.”
“Right? It’s Caprielli’s over on 2100. It’s a small family owned business. I met the owner and his wife while they fixed my order, and they’re the sweetest couple.”
“I haven’t heard of it, but I’m definitely adding this to my list.”
We demolish our pizza slices and breadsticks, and Sutton shyly takes another slice.
“Hot workout date tonight?” I ask.
Suttons snorts. “God, no. I was teaching a yoga class.”
“You teach yoga and work for the Knights? Do they not pay you enough?”
She giggles, the sound filling my living room with a warmth it’s never had before. It seeps into my bones, and fills my ribcage as my heart races faster.
“They pay me plenty, I promise. I usually only teach on Tuesday nights, but my friend has a family thing so I offered to cover her Friday and Saturday classes.”
“Why teach if you don’t need the money?”
“It helps me feel centered, and I like helping other people find peace, even if it’s only for an hour. This studio has a sister studio in St. George, so I was able to switch easily.”
“That’s really cool.” An idea pops into my head as a way to spend more time with her. “ Hey, maybe you should start doing sessions with the team.”
“Ha, no thank you,” She snorts. “I don’t want to embarrass myself at work.”
“If you ever change your mind, I’ll keep the guys in line.” I’ll try at least.
“Thanks, I’ll consider it.”
“Good.” I finish my slice of pizza, then grab another, contemplating if I should say what I want to say. The worst she could do is tell me she doesn’t want to talk about it, right? There’s no harm in asking. “Can I ask something a bit personal?”
“We’re not strangers, Ezra. You’ve seen me have panic attacks, and helped me cover up a hickey I got from your brother. I think you’re entitled to personal questions,” She teases.
The memory of finding her in Davis’s room frantically trying to conceal the biggest hickey I’d ever seen pops up.
I remember feeling jealous that Davis got to do things like that: kiss her neck and leave marks.
If Davis had asked me to help her, I would have said no, but back then, I couldn’t say no to Sutton.
I don’t know where I got the information, but we spent the rest of the day pressing cold spoons to the spot, and rubbing arnica cream on it until it was faded enough to be hidden by concealer.
“True, but it’s been a long time, and I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.”
“I’m an open book, as long as you don’t start spreading my secrets around the team.” She’s joking, but even the thought of betraying her trust makes me want to vomit up the pizza I just ate.
“I would never,” I swear. “Anything you tell me is in confidence.”
“Ask away, then.”
I set down my plate and wipe my hands on a napkin before turning back to her. “Do you ever… miss Davis? Or wish you would have stayed with him?”
Sutton inhales deeply and mirrors my actions, folding one of her legs up on the couch and resting her cheek on her fist before sighing. The movement lifts her sweatshirt up just a smidge, revealing an expanse of creamy, skin with silvery stretch marks.
I snap my eyes back to her face.
“When I first moved to Utah, the transition was difficult. I was eighteen, on my own for the first time, and terrified. I had my cousins and aunt and uncle as support, but I didn’t want to rely on them for anything, you know? I wanted to prove I could do it on my own.
“The first semester, trying to work enough to have food, and take enough credit hours to graduate early, almost broke me. Back then, there were a lot of times I thought about how much easier it would have been if I’d stayed with Davis.
To have the support of your parents behind me.
” Her face softens with a melancholy smile.
“But the answer is, even though I used to miss the safety Davis was, I don’t think we would have worked out in the long run.
I’ll always be grateful for him, and to your family for giving me a safe place to go when I needed one, but I don’t wish we were still together. ”
Why does her answer fill me with such relief?
“Why do you think you two wouldn’t have worked out? I always thought your relationship was solid.”
“As teenagers, yeah, our relationship was solid. As I’ve gotten older, I realize now that our careers would have taken us in two different directions.
We had different life goals, and one of us would have had to give up our dreams.” The unspoken, ‘and it would have been me’, is loud and clear.
“Ending our engagement wasn’t easy, but it was the right choice for both of us. ”
“Well for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you, even if we all missed you a lot.”
“Thanks, Ezra. It’s worth more than you know.”
Sutton glances at the clock on my stove and sighs. “I should probably head home and rest before class tomorrow. Thank you for the pizza.”
“Of course. We should do it again sometime.”
“Yeah, I’d like that.” She stands and starts to gather her dirty dishes, but I gently push her hands away. We must be staticky from the couch, because a shock zips up my arm at the contact.
Sutton gasps, her eyes meeting mine before she pulls her hand away.
“I’ll take care of this.”
She hesitates, her hands still hovering above the coffee table. “Are you sure? I really don’t mind helping. I did eat half your pizza, afterall.”
“I promise.” I step closer and open my arms for her. She takes my invitation for a hug, wrapping her arms around my middle loosely. Whatever perfume she put on earlier lingers in her hair, the faintest hint of it reaching my nose as I inhale.
She steps back, breaking our hug. “I’ll see you Monday?” She asks.
“You bet.” I walk her to the door, opening it for her.
“Thanks again, Ezra. I had a really great time.”
“Me too. Thanks for keeping me company, and text me when you get home so I know you’re safe,” I stay with faux sternness. It earns me another bubbly giggle.
“I would, but I don’t think I have your number.”
“Hmm, that won’t do. Give me your phone.” She hands it to me, and I put my number in, then send a text to myself, so I have hers. “There, now there’s no excuse.”
She laughs and says goodnight, and I shut the door, listening for her to open hers. When I hear her door click shut, I walk back to gather our dishes. My phone buzzes in my pocket as I put the dishes in the dishwasher. I pull it out, and I smile when I see the text.
SUTTON: I’m home safe. :)
ME: Thank goodness. I was so worried since it took you a long time to text me.
SUTTON: So long. Like, two whole seconds.
ME: Felt like an hour, tbh. I thought I might have to call a search and rescue team.
SUTTON: So dramatic.
ME: Me? Never.
SUTTON: Yeah, you. Remember how you used to swear if you didn’t eat exactly 5 sour gummy worms, and drink an orange Gatorade, you would lose.
ME: USED to? That’s still part of my pregame ritual. You just didn’t see me in the locker room.
SUTTON: What else is part of your pregame ritual?
ME: That’s a secret. I’ll never tell.
SUTTON: Guess I’ll figure it out on my own, then. Gonna get some beauty sleep. Night, Ezra.
ME: Goodnight, Sutt. Sweet dreams.
After I go through my nighttime routine, I settle in bed with a goofy smile on my face over tonight. Maybe I was wrong, and picking up where we left off isn’t such a crazy idea. Sutton already opened up to me about the break up, and texting felt easy.
On an impulse, search Sutton’s name and yoga studio on Google, curious about where she teaches. The first result is a studio about ten minutes from here. There’s still some availability in her next class.
ME: Want to go to a yoga class with me?
WEBBY: Yoga? When?
ME: Tuesday.