29. Kashmere Charm
Trill-Land, Jungle Estate
I laid in bed, trying not to toss and turn, but my mind was still on the fight me and Pluto had earlier.
That bitch really tried it. My body felt tired, but my thoughts wouldn’t let me rest. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her face.
I thought about the way she was looking at me like I had betrayed her, like all the years of friendship between us meant nothing.
I hated that it even got to that point, but the truth was, I wasn’t sorry for what I said.
Pluto was entitled as hell and felt like I needed to tell her my every move with Pressure when I never expected her to tell me hers.
She got mad at me for choosing to protect our friendship by sparing her feelings and keeping certain details with Pressure out.
She took it as me acting funny, but I took it as courtesy.
The thought of her being in Pressure’s room right now was eating at me in a way I didn’t want to admit out loud.
I could picture it too clearly— her sitting in his space, maybe talking, maybe not, but being there in a way that made her feel closer to him.
That was the part that was getting under my skin.
I knew what it felt like to be in that space with him, to feel like all his attention was locked on me, and I didn’t want to imagine her having that.
Now that it was only four of us left, there was no hiding from the reality that this was almost over.
The games, the group settings, the little moments of jealousy—all of it was fading into something way more serious.
We started with twenty women, and now it was just us.
Every move mattered at this point, and I knew Pressure was paying attention to more than he let on.
When I thought back to Virella Azul, I couldn’t stop the small rush I felt.
That trip wasn’t just a trip to me, but a statement.
The way he treated me there wasn’t casual.
He made me feel like I was the only person who meant something to him.
The way he looked at me, the way he made sure I was comfortable, the way he went out of his way to make me feel wanted…
I now knew that shit wasn’t just for show.
I remembered the warmth in his touch, the things he whispered in my ear and the way he kissed me like he couldn’t get enough.
I knew what that meant. You couldn’t fake that kind of energy.
I had been here in this estate through all of it—the eliminations, the drama, the fake smiles from women who swore they didn’t care but were watching every little thing he did.
I stood through it, even when I wanted to snap, even when I did actually snap, even when I wanted to walk away.
And now I was down to the last stretch, and the idea that I might not be the one he chose made my heart ache.
I didn’t want to think about what it would feel like to lose, but the thought kept creeping in no matter how hard I pushed it back.
If Pressure didn’t choose me, I didn’t know what I would do.
I wasn’t the type to fall apart over a man, but this wasn’t just about a man.
This was about him . There was a difference.
From the moment me and Pressure crossed that boundary, I knew I wanted him.
Not because of the title or the lifestyle, but because of the way he carried himself, and how he could make a whole room feel different just by walking in.
That kind of presence wasn’t something you found every day.
I told myself I had what it took to be the woman by his side.
I could handle his world, I could handle the pressure that came with his name, and I could handle him.
I wasn’t here to play safe, and I wasn’t here to play small.
But lately, shit had shifted. It wasn’t just me in his ear.
It wasn’t just me catching his attention.
Pluto had become a real problem.
I didn’t want to admit it, but she had. Somewhere between her quiet moments and the way she carried herself like she wasn’t trying too hard…
I knew she had gotten ahold of his heart.
I saw it in the way he looked at her sometimes, like he was trying to decide if she would make a good wife.
That bothered me, because I knew how men like him thought.
If they couldn’t figure you out, they chased behind you.
And once the chase began, it becomes hard to pull them away.
No matter what he felt for me—and I knew he felt something—I could tell he had feelings for Pluto too.
I didn’t know how deep it went, and maybe I didn’t want to, but I could feel it.
If he chose her over me, I honestly didn’t know how I would react.
Part of me wanted to believe I would take it like a woman and walk away with my head high, but the other part…
the other part didn’t even want to picture that reality.
I rolled over, staring at the ceiling, my mind flipping between memories of us and the uncertainty of what was coming next.
I thought about the way his hands felt on me, the way his voice dropped when he was speaking just to me and how he made me feel like I belonged here with him.
That wasn’t something I wanted to give up, and it sure as hell wasn’t something I wanted to see given to somebody else.
I worked too hard to stand out in this house, and I wasn’t about to fade into the background now.
I knew who I was, and I knew what I brought to the table.
Pressure could feel that too because I saw it every time his eyes lingered on me, and when he let that small smirk pull at his mouth like he was remembering something only we shared.
Still, the uncertainty was sitting heavy on me.
The closer we got to the end, the more real it became that feelings weren’t enough on their own.
He had to make a choice, and when he did, I needed him to remember every moment we had, every way I’d been there and every reason I was still standing when most of the others were gone.
I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the strength I had and the connection we built instead of the thought that right now, Pluto was in his room. If I let myself think too hard about that, I would lose the calm I was fighting to keep.
Tomorrow was another day. Another chance to remind Pressure why I should be the last woman here.
But tonight, all I could do was lay here, breathe, and make peace with the fact that the only thing standing between me and everything I wanted was his decision.
And I had no control over which way he would go.