The next day… #2
I wanted her so bad that my whole body was fightin’ against what my mind was doin’. One part of me wanted to flip her on her back and remind both of us what we had been missin’. The other part kept seein’ Pluto pale in that hospital bed while a doctor explained how much blood she had lost.
She reached between us and wrapped her hand around my dick. My body reacted to her touch at first, and I groaned against her lips while she lifted herself enough to guide me toward her pussy. The second I realized what she was doin’, fear hit me harder than the pleasure did.
My dick started goin’ soft in her hand.
Pluto stopped and looked down between us before liftin’ her eyes back to mine. The disappointment on her face came quick, even though she tried to hide it.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothin’,” I told her, reachin’ up to pull her face toward mine.
I kissed her ‘cause I ain’t want her thinkin’ it had somethin’ to do with how she looked. I wanted her to feel that I still desired her, but she stared at me after I pulled back, and I could tell she ain’t believe a word I said.
She looked down at me again before rollin’ her eyes and lettin’ out a tired sigh. She ain’t argue or ask me another question. She just climbed off me, turned toward her side of the bed and pulled the covers over her naked body.
That quiet shit she always did, got under my skin worse than her yellin’ ever could.
At the same time, the old Pluto would’ve asked me what the fuck my problem was until I told her.
She would’ve climbed right back on top of me, or done whatever she felt she needed to do until we handled it.
This version of my wife acted like she ain’t have the energy to fight for an answer.
She would roll her eyes, shut down, and leave me sittin’ there tryna figure out what was happenin’ in her head.
I rolled on my side and moved closer until my chest touched her back. My arm went around her waist, and I pulled her against me while I pressed kisses along her shoulder and the back of her neck.
“Why you trippin’?” I asked, rubbin’ my hand over her stomach.
Pluto ain’t answer me. She stayed still in my arms and kept her face turned away while I kissed her again. I could feel the coldness in the way she held her body, and that shit bothered me ‘cause Pluto had a coldness that the coldest muthafucka couldn’t match.
“Baby, talk to me,” I said, keepin’ my voice low.
She still ain’t say nothin’…
I kissed her shoulder again and held her tighter, but she ain’t relax into me. Her body stayed stiff under my arm, and the more she ignored me, the harder it got to keep my own frustration from comin’ out.
I was tryna protect her, and somehow that protection was makin’ her feel rejected.
That wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to explain that every time I thought about puttin’ my dick inside her, I remembered that my desire had helped put her in that hospital.
I wanted to tell her the doctor clearin’ her body ain’t clear my mind, and I ain’t know how to touch her without wonderin’ if I was bein’ selfish again.
Instead, I laid here holdin’ her while none of that came out.
After another minute of her givin’ me nothin’, I sighed and ran my hand down my face.
I let her go before rollin’ back to my side of the bed ‘cause I could feel myself gettin’ irritated, and the last thing I wanted was to say somethin’ wrong to a woman who was already dealin’ with more than she knew how to explain.
Pluto stayed on her side, and I stayed on mine with our backs turned toward each other. There wasn’t much space between us, but it felt like more than the whole bed could hold.
I stared toward the dark wall while my wife laid behind me, and my dick was completely soft now.
It ain’t have nothin’ to do with not wantin’ her. I wanted Pluto more than I wanted anybody or anything in this world, but wantin’ her had started scarin’ the fuck out of me ‘cause I knew what it had almost cost us.
I ain’t know how to make her understand that I wasn’t stayin’ away ‘cause she had changed or ‘cause I ain’t see her the same. I was stayin’ away ‘cause she was still the most important thing in my life, and I couldn’t survive bein’ responsible for nothin’ else happenin’ to her.
The problem was, Pluto ain’t know none of that ‘cause I ain’t really know how to bring it up without reopenin’ the wound.
All she knew was her husband stopped touchin’ her the way he used to, and now she was layin’ beside me feelin’ unwanted while I was layin’ here scared to love her the way I always had.
That realization sat with me as I stared into the dark, but I still ain’t turn around. I could hear Pluto breathin’ behind me, and I knew from the way she kept shiftin’ that she wasn’t asleep either.
Neither one of us said nothin’ else, and eventually the room went quiet while we stayed on opposite sides of the same hurt, both of us too deep in our own heads to reach back for each other.
THE NEXT DAY…
Today, I had been movin’ around from the time I opened my eyes, and by the time the sun started goin’ down, I was ready to get the fuck from around everybody and enjoy myself for a minute.
Cloud 9 had been packed damn near all day, and I had spent most of my time movin’ between the kitchen, the office, and the front of the restaurant makin’ sure shit was runnin’ the way I wanted it to run.
I ain’t have to be there every second for the place to move, but I still liked puttin’ my eyes on everything ‘cause niggas got lazy when they got too comfortable.
One minute I was talkin’ to the chef about some plates comin’ out wrong, and the next minute I was on the phone with one of my dispensary managers ‘cause somebody had fucked up inventory numbers and thought I wasn’t gon’ notice.
By the time the restaurant started clearin’ out, I had already counted the money twice and packed most of it inside a black duffel bag.
I came out the office with that bitch in my hand and walked through the back of the restaurant while everybody moved around cleanin’ up.
A few people spoke when they saw me, and I nodded without stoppin’ ‘cause I was ready to go home, take a shower, and chill.
Soon as I stepped outside, my phone started ringin’ in my pocket. I shifted the duffel bag into my other hand and pulled my phone out while I headed toward my truck.
“Wussup?” I answered.
“What you on tonight?” Kay’Lo asked.
“I’m just leavin’ Cloud 9. What you on?”
“I’m tryna hit Drahma Town. You slidin’?”
“Yeah,” I told him while poppin’ my trunk.
“What time?”
“The same time we always go.”
I tossed the duffel bag inside and closed the trunk before walkin’ around to the driver’s side. “Bet. I’m ‘bout to go home, shower and get dressed. I’ma hit you when I’m headin’ that way.”
“A’ight.”
I ended the call, got behind the wheel, and pulled away from the restaurant while my mind started shiftin’ from business to home.
I hadn’t been around the crib much today, but I had checked in with Pluto more than once.
Every time I called, she told me she was good, the kids was good, and Isley had finally started takin’ longer naps.
Her voice still ain’t sound all the way right to me, but she had been sayin’ she was fine so much lately that I knew pressin’ her over the phone wasn’t gon’ get me nowhere.
The drive home ain’t take long, and by the time I pulled through the gates, I was already thinkin’ about what I wanted to wear out.
I parked, grabbed the bag from the trunk, and headed inside with the plan of takin’ it straight to my office before I went upstairs. The second I stepped through the front door, I heard Pluto yellin’.
“Why do you always wait until the last minute to tell somebody shit, Zurie?”
Her voice carried from deeper inside the house, and I stopped with one hand still wrapped around the duffel bag.
Pluto wasn’t no quiet woman when she got mad at the kids, but this sounded different.
It had more anger in it than I was used to hearin’ from her, and before I could even set my shit down, Zurie’s voice came right back.
“I forgot!”
“You always forget!” Pluto shouted. “The school ain’t just tell you today that you needed that stuff! You knew, and you waited until tonight to say something when you need it tomorrow!”
I put the bag down near the wall and headed toward the voices.
By the time I made it to the family room, Pluto was standin’ there with Isley in her arms while Zurie stood across from her with her hands folded over her chest. Prestyn and Kaylon was nowhere around, which meant somebody had enough sense to get them out the room before this shit got worse.
Pluto looked tired as hell, but she was still goin’. Her hair was pulled up, and she had on one of my shirts with some shorts under it. Isley was pressed against her chest, startin’ to squirm ‘cause of all the noise, and I ain’t like the way Pluto was holdin’ my baby while she was this worked up.
I walked over without interruptin’ them, leaned down, and kissed the side of Pluto’s face before reachin’ for Isley.
“Give me my baby,” I said low.
Pluto handed Isley over, but she ain’t even look at me when she did it.
Her eyes stayed locked on Zurie while I pulled my daughter against my chest and kissed the side of her head.
She settled for half a second, then started fussin’ again ‘cause Pluto and Zurie was still goin’ at it and neither one of ’em knew how to lower they voice right now.
“You don’t listen!” Pluto went on, steppin’ closer to Zurie. “You wait until the last minute every single time, then expect everybody else to stop what they are doing and run behind you!”
“I said I forgot!” Zurie shot back, rollin’ her eyes.
I looked at her hard ‘cause she knew better than to do that shit when Pluto was already pissed.
“Watch yo’ attitude,” Pluto warned.
“I’m not even havin’ an attitude.”
“Yes, you are, and I’m tired of you acting like I’m stupid.”
Zurie threw her hands up and let out a loud sigh. “What you want me to do? I already told you I forgot.”