17. Renza Mensah
Drahma Town
It had been about three weeks since I seen Sha’Nelle, and I ain’t heard from her no more than she heard from me.
After spendin’ that whole week together in Greystone City, I thought shit between us had finally started movin’ the way it was supposed to.
She had been laid up with me, ridin’ around the city, sleepin’ in my arms and talkin’ like she understood where we was headed.
Then she woke up that one mornin’ and told me she wasn’t comin’ back to Trill-Land.
That shit ain’t sit right with me, but I was tired of fightin’ with a woman who kept tellin’ me she loved me while findin’ another reason not to be with me.
I could’ve stopped her from leavin’ that Airbnb. I could’ve kept arguin’, followed her back to her mama house or stayed in Greystone until she changed her mind. That was usually how I moved when I wanted somethin’. I ain’t let too much get away from me once I decided it belonged in my life.
This time, I let her go…
I had watched Pressure spend too much time flyin’ in and out of cities behind Pluto when they was goin’ through they shit.
Every time she pulled away from him, that nigga was gettin’ on another plane, showin’ up somewhere or doin’ whatever he had to do to bring her ass back.
I used to look at him and wonder how the fuck he had enough patience to keep chasin’ the same woman when she already knew where he stood.
Now I understood him more than I wanted to.
Still, I wasn’t finna make that my whole life.
I loved Sha’Nelle like a muthafucka and a part of me probably always would, but I couldn’t keep draggin’ her toward me every time she decided to step back.
At some point, she had to want the same shit without me wearin’ her down first. If she ain’t wanna leave her raggedy ass city and build somethin’ with me, I couldn’t force that without provin’ every bad thought she already had about the way I moved.
That ain’t mean I stopped thinkin’ about her.
Some nights I would reach across my bed half asleep, expectin’ to feel all that thick ass body laid beside me before rememberin’ she wasn’t there.
Other times, I would hear somethin’ funny and grab my phone before catchin’ myself.
Her name stayed in my head more than I liked, but I ain’t called, texted or sent nobody to check on her.
Sha’Nelle had my number. She knew where I lived, and she knew how I felt. There wasn’t nothin’ else for me to prove.
Tonight, I was in the section at Drahma Town with Blaqson, tryna enjoy myself without thinkin’ too hard about shit.
Kay’Lo had been with us earlier, but Toni sent him a message, and that nigga ain’t even pretend he was stayin’ after that.
He finished what was left in his glass, dapped both of us up and got the fuck on like his wife had called in an emergency.
I laughed when I watched him leave ‘cause it ain’t matter how smooth Kay’Lo acted around everybody else. Toni could send that nigga three words and have him halfway home before anybody asked where he was goin’.
Now it was just me and Blaq sittin’ back in the section while music moved through the club and smoke floated over the table. A bottle sat between us with a couple glasses, and we had enough weed broken down to keep somethin’ burnin’ until the lights came on.
Blaq leaned over the table and finished rollin’ another blunt before holdin’ it up to check his work.
“You roll that muthafucka any tighter, we gon’ need a machine to hit it,” I told him before liftin’ my glass.
Blaqson looked at me. “You always got somethin’ to say, but be smokin’ every blunt I roll.”
“‘Cause I ain’t wastin’ good weed over yo’ lack of talent, nigga.”
Blaq laughed and took the first pull before passin’ it over. I hit the blunt a couple times and leaned back against the sofa while lookin’ around the club.
Drahma Town was packed like it usually was this late, with every section full and people crowded around the floor. Music shook through the walls, bottles kept comin’ out with sparklers and everybody looked like they had decided tonight was the night to spend money they probably ain’t have.
I was takin’ another drink when I caught movement near the section from the corner of my eye. At first, I ain’t think much of it ‘cause women had been walkin’ past us all night, lookin’ over and tryna figure out if they could get invited in.
Then I looked up and saw Reni. She was walkin’ toward us with Mecca next to her.
A part of me was surprised even though I knew Drahma Town wasn’t no unfamiliar place for her.
This was where we met through Blaqson years ago, back when she used to come through here all the time with Mecca and whoever else they was hangin’ with.
Before everything between us got complicated, Reni could walk in this bitch and know half the people in it.
She looked good too…
Her hair was long and this light brown color, fallin’ over her shoulders in loose curls, and she had on a fitted black dress that stopped high on her thighs without lookin’ like she had tried too hard.
Her makeup was done soft, and the heels she wore had her legs lookin’ longer than they already was.
She had always been pretty, and breakin’ up ain’t suddenly make me blind.
Still, seein’ her ain’t hit me the way it would’ve once. Too much had happened between us for that.
Reni spotted me before she made it all the way over, and the smile that touched her face let me know she ain’t know I would be here either. Mecca leaned toward her and said somethin’ I couldn’t hear, then both of ‘em kept walkin’ until they reached the rope near our section.
Blaqson followed my eyes and looked over. “Well, look who popped up.”
I glanced at him. “Don’t start no shit.”
“I ain’t said nothin’, nigga.”
“You was ‘bout to.”
The security near the section already knew Reni, so it ain’t take much before her and Mecca was let through. Reni walked over first, and when she stopped in front of me, we looked at each other for a second like both of us was tryna figure out what kind of time the other one was on.
“Hey, Renza,” she greeted me over the music.
“Wussup, Reni?”
She leaned down and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.
I put one arm around her waist and hugged her back without makin’ the moment bigger than it needed to be.
Her perfume hit me when she pulled close, and for a second, the familiarity of her brought back too much history. The shit was kinda crazy.
When she stepped back, I looked toward Mecca and nodded. “Wussup?”
“Hey, Renza,” Mecca replied before speakin’ to Blaqson too.
They sat down with us, with Mecca takin’ the open space near Blaqson while Reni slid into the spot beside me. She crossed one leg over the other and placed her purse near her hip before lookin’ at the bottle on the table.
“You still drinkin’ this?” Reni asked as she reached for one of the empty glasses.
“I still drink whatever I feel like drinkin’,” I answered while pourin’ some for her.
I passed the glass toward her, and she took it.
For a while, all four of us kicked it without nothin’ feelin’ strange.
Blaqson and Mecca started talkin’ about somebody they both knew, and Reni sat next to me sippin’ her drink while I smoked.
Every now and then she would lean closer to hear somethin’ I said, and her thigh would brush against mine before she settled back into her spot.
The club got louder as the night went on, and more bottles started landin’ on the table. Blaqson rolled another blunt after we finished the first, then passed it between all of us while Mecca complained about how strong the weed was.
Reni took a pull and held it for a second before coughin’ into her hand.
I looked at her. “You still can’t smoke.”
“Hell no,” she replied, pushin’ the blunt back toward me. “That shit just strong.”
“That’s what people who can’t smoke always say.”
She cut her eyes at me while tryin’ not to smile.
I laughed under my breath and hit the blunt before leanin’ back again.
Reni had been callin’ me every now and then since everything happened between us, but we hadn’t spent much real time together.
A few weeks ago, she got sick and asked me to bring her some herbs.
I went by her condo, dropped ‘em off and stayed long enough to make sure she was straight, but that was about it.
The history was still there, but the relationship wasn’t.
Tonight felt different ‘cause neither one of us was tryna talk about the past or fix some shit. We was just sittin’ next to each other in the same place where a lot of our shit started, drinkin’ and lettin’ the night move without askin’ it for more than that.
As more liquor settled into me, I stopped thinkin’ about whether sittin’ this close to Reni meant anything.
Her hand rested on my thigh once while she leaned across me to reach for the bottle, and I ain’t move it.
Later, my arm ended up stretched behind her along the back of the sofa, and she leaned into my side like the space had always belonged to her.
I knew what I was doin’. I also knew what I wasn’t doin’ no more.
I wasn’t sittin’ around waitin’ for Sha’Nelle to decide if she wanted me while actin’ like my whole life had to stop.
Three weeks had passed without one word between us.
I ain’t owe nobody no explanation for bein’ outside, drinkin’ with an ex or lettin’ the night turn into whatever the fuck it was gon’ turn into.
Reni looked over at me while I poured another drink, and I caught her eyes stayin’ on my face longer than they needed to.
“What?” I asked her.
“Nothin’,” she answered before takin’ the glass from my hand.
“You lookin’ dead at me, but it’s nothin’?”
She took a sip and turned toward me. “I ain’t seen you in a while. I can look.”
I stared back at her, then nodded once. “A’ight.”
She smiled behind the rim of her glass and looked away, but I caught the message in that shit.