Greystone City #3
I had spent so much time worried that I would lose myself if I went with Renza. After what he did to Couture, I knew that fear wasn’t just somethin’ I made up in my head.
Renza ain’t understand limits when his feelin’s got involved. Every boundary became somethin’ he had to break through. Every person who stood between us became somebody he believed he had the right to remove.
I loved him, but I couldn’t live like that.
“You still there?” Toni asked after I stayed quiet too long.
“Yeah,” I replied while rubbin’ my hand across my forehead. “I’m outside Couture apartment.”
“You goin’ up?”
“I am,” I answered. “I just needed a minute first.”
Toni lowered her voice before she spoke again. “Be careful, and not just with Renza. Be careful with Couture too. That man hurt and embarrassed, and even if he ain’t takin’ it out on you, that shit sittin’ somewhere.”
“I know,” I replied.
Eventually, we said bye and ended the call, but I stayed inside my car a few minutes longer. My phone rested in my lap while I looked toward Couture’s apartment again.
Before I went upstairs, there was one more thing I needed to do.
I opened the hidden folder on my phone. Renza’s face filled the screen as soon as it opened.
There was videos of us laid up together, pictures from the museum and clips of him drivin’ with one hand wrapped around mine.
There was a picture of the flowers he had arranged for me and another one of him sleepin’ beside me on the daybed with his arm stretched across my waist. Us kissin’ out eatin’ and a bunch of other shit I wanted to forget.
I stared at everything longer than I should’ve.
These pictures belonged to another version of us. They belonged to the week when I thought maybe love could be enough to make me ignore everything else. Back then, Renza’s possessiveness felt like passion. The way he wanted me all to his self made me feel chosen, even when I knew it wasn’t healthy.
Now I saw that shit differently…
I selected every picture and every video, then pressed delete.
The phone asked if I was sure. My thumb hovered over the button while my chest started hurtin’, but I forced myself to press it.
The folder emptied, and for a second, I stared at the blank screen like I had just erased more than some pictures. Then I went into our messages.
There was months of texts between us. Some was arguments, some was some freaky shit and some was so full of love that I had to stop myself from readin’ ‘em again. I selected the whole conversation and deleted it before one message could talk me into holdin’ on. I also erased his voicemail last.
My finger paused over it ‘cause that was the final piece of proof that the nigga I lowkey still loved still loved me back. Then I remembered Couture tied up inside his own trunk, lookin’ at me like I was the only person he could trust enough to help him.
I deleted the voicemail…
After that, I blocked Renza’s number.
The screen looked too clean once everything was gone, but maybe clean was what I needed. I couldn’t keep carryin’ pieces of him while tryna convince Couture that I was fully present in what we had.
I grabbed my purse, got out of the car and headed toward Couture’s apartment.
The walk from the parkin’ lot felt longer than usual. I noticed the way Couture’s curtains was partly open and the way his car sat near the buildin’ where he could see it from the window.
When I reached his door, I knocked instead of usin’ the key he had given me ‘cause everything felt different now.
A few seconds passed before the lock turned. Couture opened the door with a gun lowered near his thigh.
The sight of it made my heart hurt, but I kept my face calm.
Soon as he saw me, some of the hardness left his expression.
He moved the gun away and stepped aside.
His eyes moved past me toward the hallway before he pulled me inside and locked the door again.
He checked the lock twice, then looked through the peephole before settin’ the gun on a table near the wall.
I watched him do all of it without sayin’ nothin’.
He had on gray sweats and a plain black shirt, but he looked tired. The bruise near the side of his head started fadin’, and the marks around his wrists wasn’t as red as they had been five days ago. Still, I could see what happened sittin’ all over him.
I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around his waist.
Couture hesitated before his arms came around me, but once they did, he held me tight. I pressed my face against his chest and stayed here ‘cause I needed him to feel that I wasn’t scared of him or ashamed of what happened.
“I missed you,” I said while rubbin’ my hands along his back.
“I missed you too,” Couture answered, his voice lower than usual.
I lifted my head and kissed him. At first, his lips barely moved against mine, but after a second, he kissed me back and pulled me closer. There was still anger in him, but it wasn’t directed at me. He was tryna hold on to himself while processin’ somethin’ no man expected to live through.
When we pulled apart, I rubbed my thumb over his cheek.
“You okay?” I asked.
Couture looked at me for a few seconds before answerin’. “I’m straight.”
I nodded ‘cause I wasn’t gon’ force him to say more than he was ready to say.
“You hungry?” he asked while slidin’ his hand down my arm.
“A lil’.”
“I made somethin’ earlier,” he told me. “I can warm it up.”
“That’s fine,” I replied, but I kept my arms around him another second before finally lettin’ go.
I let him lead me further into the apartment while my phone stayed inside my purse without one trace of Renza left on it.
This was where I was choosin’ to be.
Couture ain’t make me feel weak for stayin’. He made me feel like there was still a chance for somethin’ good after everything I had allowed Renza to drag me through. What happened to him ain’t make him less of a man to me, and it damn sure ain’t make me love him less.
If anything, seein’ him refuse to let somebody run him away from his own life made me respect him more.
He was hurt, but he wasn’t turnin’ cruel.
He wasn’t punishin’ me for findin’ him vulnerable, and he wasn’t pretendin’ none of it affected him just to prove somethin’.
He was simply tryna move forward. And I wanted to do the same.
As Couture led me toward the kitchen, I looked back at the locked door one last time. Then I turned away from it and tightened my hand around his.
Whatever me and Renza had was over.
This time, I was gon’ make sure it stayed that way.