Chapter 3 #3
For a while, we just sat there, passin’ the blunt back and forth, lettin’ the music play and the night settle around us. It wasn’t awkward either, and it never was with him. Silence with Kelli ain’t feel empty. It felt full, like everything that needed to be said was already understood.
I let out a light breath and looked back up at the sky. “Today was a lot.”
Kelli moved in his seat, turnin’ his body a lil’ bit toward me so I knew I had his attention without him sayin’ a word.
“I really thought…” I paused, swallowin’, tryna keep my voice as calm as I could. “I really thought I was watchin’ my grandma die right in front of me.”
Kelli ain’t flinch but just looked at me.
“My mama was right there oilin’ her scalp like everything was normal,” I continued, my voice softer now. “And then, all of a sudden, Grandma Glo couldn’t talk right. Her words got stuck, her face changed, and then she just… went quiet. I ain’t never felt no shit like that before, Kelli.”
Kelli leaned his elbow against the door with his eyes still on me. “That’s just your heart,” he said, low and sure.
I nodded, blinkin’ a few times while I stared out at nothin’ in particular. “For real… my grandma means everything to us. She the one who held shit together when everything else was fallin’ apart. She really is my heart… and I ain’t ready for nothin’ to happen to her.”
Kelli ain’t rush to say nothin’. He just looked at me for a second real calm, like he was lettin’ me get all that out before he stepped in it.
“She still here,” he said, glancin’ back up at the sky before lookin’ at me again. “And you got time to be there with her… do what you feel like you need to do.”
I let that sit with me for a second, then I nodded slowly. “Yeah… you right.”
I looked back out at the city lights, sighin’ deep. “But it still made me realize somethin’… I need to go home.”
Kelli ain’t look surprised. “I get it.”
“I can’t be out here actin’ like everything sweet when she in the hospital after a mild stroke. I wanna be there when they discharge her. I wanna make sure she straight and make sure my mama ain’t carryin’ everything by herself. I just… I need to be there.”
“You do, and you will be there the way you suppose to,” he replied, real calm.
I glanced at him, smirkin’ while I shifted in my seat, so I was turned more toward him. “You agree with me a lot.”
Kelli’s hand slid off the wheel for a second and rested on the middle console, close enough to mine that I felt it before he even touched me.
“I don’t be agreeing just to agree,” he said, his voice low. “I can’t argue with you when you makin’ sense.”
I huffed a soft laugh, shakin’ my head while I looked down at his hand next to mine. “Mmm… see, that’s what I like about you.
His fingers brushed against mine real light at first, like he was givin’ me room to move if I wanted to, but when I ain’t pull away, he let his hand settle over mine.
Kelli stared at me then with that quiet look in his eyes, sayin’ way more than his mouth ever did.
“I pay attention to you,” he said.
I felt his words hit my chest before I could even react to it, and I had to look away for a second, starin’ out at nothin’ just so he wouldn’t see how much that actually did somethin’ to me.
“Yeah…” I murmured, squeezin’ his hand without thinkin’ about it. “I see that.”
“I’m probably gon’ get a job when I get back too. Get myself together for real. I ain’t tryna just be floatin’ through life forever, even if Toni and Kay’Lo make it easy to do that.”
Kelli glanced at me, then back up at the sky. “I don’t think you’re just floatin’,” he said.
I turned my head slow, lookin’ at him. “What I’m doin’ then?”
“You came out here for your cousin,” he said. “She needed you. All that shit going on with ’Lo… that case… that wasn’t light. You was where you was supposed to be.”
I ain’t say nothin’ right away but just watched him while his thumb kept draggin’ real soft across my skin. I could feel how grounded he was in what he was sayin’.
I smiled slow, shakin’ my head a lil. “Yeah… you different.”
He ain’t react to that for real but just let his hand slide from mine for a second so he could reach over and move a piece of hair off my shoulder, his fingers barely brushin’ my skin before he let his hand fall back down.
That small shit right there did somethin’ to me, but I kept it cute.
I leaned back in the seat, still smilin’. “I ain’t gon’ lie, though… I’m really gon’ miss this.”
He glanced at me. “What part?”
I turned my head, lookin’ at him instead of the sky now. “This… ridin’ around, you poppin’ up with lil’ spots like this, not sayin’ too much but still sayin’ enough. It’s calm.”
His jaw tightened just a lil’ like he was holdin’ back a bigger reaction, but his voice stayed even. “It ain’t going nowhere.”
I let out a soft laugh. “Yeah, but I am.”
His eyes flicked to mine again, and this time he ain’t look away as quick.
“Then I’ll pull up on you,” he said.
That made me smile for real.
“Boy, you better,” I said, nudgin’ his arm with mine before lettin’ my hand find his again.
After starin’ at the stars for a while, I turned my head toward him again, watchin’ the way the dashboard light hit his face. “You gon’ miss me?”
Kelli ain’t hesitate. “Yeah,” he said, but there was more behind it than just the word. “I’m gon’ feel it when you’re not around.”
That made my smile soften before I could stop it. “I just love how honest you be with me.”
“I don’t play with you.”
The way he said that made my stomach do a small flip, and I cleared my throat tryna act like it ain’t do nothin’ to me.
“I’m gon’ miss you too,” I admitted. “I done got so used to botherin’ you.”
“You don’t bother me,” he replied.
I smirked. “Don’t lie.”
“You don’t. You make things lighter.”
“So, what you gon’ do without me then?” I asked after a moment. “Just sit around bein’ quiet and mysterious?”
“I’m gon’ text you,” he replied. “Check on you and make sure you good.”
“Every day?” I asked, tiltin’ my head to the side.
“Every day,” he repeated.
“You promise?” I asked, pokin’ my bottom lip out.
“I swear.”
I smiled, lookin’ down at my hands. “I like that.”
He reached for the blunt, relit it and took a slow pull before speakin’ again. “You ain’t gotta go through nothin’ by yourself just because you’re goin’ back home.”
I nodded, lettin’ that settle in me.
“Every time I see a pack of cigarettes,” I added, glancin’ at him with a grin, “I’m gon’ think about you.”
Kelli laughed under his breath. “That’s crazy.”
“It is,” I said, smilin’. “But it’s true.”
He shook his head, still smilin’, and the car went quiet again, with the music fillin’ in all the spaces between us.
After a while, I reached over and placed my hand over his where it rested near the gear shift.
“You gon’ take me to the airport?” I finally asked.
“Of course,” he said, like there was never another option.
I smiled, squeezin’ his hand before leanin’ my head back again, keepin’ my fingers laced with his.
We stayed like this, lookin’ up at the stars, the music playin’ low, the blunt burnin’ down between us, and for once, my mind wasn’t runnin’ in ten different directions.
Kelli had a way of doin’ that to me, calmin’ me down without sayin’ much. And tonight, that was exactly what I needed.
Two days after Grandma Glo almost gave my ass a damn heart attack, I was over at Pluto and Pressure’s spot, where they had a whole goin’ away party set up for me. And when I say they showed out for a bitch, I mean they really showed out for a bitch.
The backyard was lit up with soft gold lights strung across the patio with music playin’ through the speakers and tables set up with so much food on ’em it ain’t even make sense.
They had jerk chicken sliders, honey garlic wings, barbecue ribs fallin’ clean off the bone, fried fish baskets, shrimp skewers, stuffed peppers, baked mac and cheese sittin’ in big trays, rice and peas, plantains, pasta salad, deviled eggs, and lil’ buffalo chicken finger sandwiches lined up in different sauces like somebody knew I was gon’ be walkin’ around all night eatin’ with a drink in my hand.
Drinks was everywhere too. Bottles lined up with cups already filled, and somebody was always handin’ me somethin’ before I could even ask for it.
Weed was rolled up, and passed around, sittin’ in ashtrays like it was just part of the setup, and the whole vibe was filled with love, laughter, and people who actually wanted me here.
I stood outside for a second when I first walked in, just takin’ it in, and I ain’t even gon’ lie, that shit hit me a lil’ bit.
“Why y’all doin’ all this?” I asked, lookin’ between Pluto and Pressure while I laughed.
Pressure was already pourin’ himself a drink, smirkin’ like he ain’t do nothin’ special. “You leavin’, ain’t you?”
Pluto came up behind him, rubbin’ her hand over that cute round belly of hers, glowin’ like she always did. She was damn near five months now, and you could see it in the way her dresses hugged her just right.
“We wanted to do this for you, Nelle.”
I walked over and wrapped my arms around her, careful but still tight enough to let her feel me. I pulled back and gave her belly a lil’ look. “Bitch, when you finna find out what you havin’?”
Pluto rolled her eyes like she was already tired of the question. “I’m not.”
Renza’s voice slid in right on cue. “That’s ’cause she know she about to have another boy.”
Pluto turned her head slowly and looked at him. “And that’s exactly why we not findin’ out right now.”
Pressure laughed under his breath, already shakin’ his head. “She gon’ be mad as hell if it’s another boy.”
“I am,” she said, not even hesitatin’. “So, I’d rather be surprised and cry when the time comes.”
I snorted, lookin’ between them. “Lawd… please let it be a damn girl ’cause it if it ain’t, Pluto said she gon’ knock all this shit over.”
Renza laughed and lifted his cup. “Facts!”
The whole day just went up from there.