Chapter 6 #2
“You ain’t bring nothin’, so just wear this,” he said.
I took them from him, noddin’ a little. “Thank you.”
My voice came out soft, and for the first time since we walked in here, I felt that small shift in my heart because knew I might’ve pushed him.
And I really didn’t even mean to do that.
I was just expressing how I felt. I just wanted Renza to consider some things.
He was always claimin’ he loved me, and wanted to be serious about me, so I figured he would understand where I was comin’ from.
He didn’t say anything else. He just walked into the bathroom, and I sat on the edge of the bed, watchin’ him go.
For a second, I thought about gettin’ up and followin’ him into the bathroom, slidin’ in the shower with him the way I normally would, and lettin’ that be the thing that smoothed everything over between us. Most times, that’s all it took with me and Renza.
But this time felt different. I could tell by the way he walked off that he wasn’t lookin’ for me to come behind him, and he didn’t say nothin’ to pull me in with him either, which made me pause instead of movin’ off instinct.
He didn’t even glance back at me, not once, and that alone was enough to make me stay right where I was sittin’. I didn’t know if followin’ him would make it better or push him even further into whatever space he had just slipped into.
I stayed on the edge of the bed, holdin’ onto his shirt and briefs, listenin’ to the sound of the shower starting. I sat in the quiet moment, tryin’ to figure out if givin’ him space was the right move or if I had already let too much distance settle between us.
The more I thought about it, the more I started questionin’ if I handled this situation the way I was supposed to or if I let my feelings get in the way of how I came across.
The truth was, I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was comin’ at Renza or tryin’ to tear down how he lived. I was startin’ to realize how it could’ve been taken, especially with the way he shut down instead of meetin’ me with that same energy he usually gave me.
Renza wasn’t the type to go quiet on me, and I knew that about him more than anything, so the fact that he chose silence let me know I had hit somethin’ deeper than I meant to.
I leaned back on the bed, lettin’ out a slow breath while I stared toward the bathroom door, listenin’ to the water hit against the tile, and it made me realize that for once, I didn’t know what he was thinkin’. I didn’t know how he was about to come back out to me.
A whole hour passed, and Renza still hadn’t said much to me.
He had spent about twenty minutes in the shower, and when he came out, I sat at the edge of the bed longer than I should’ve, hopin’ he would say somethin’, or even look at me in a way that felt familiar, but he didn’t.
He just moved around the room, calm and quiet, like his mind was somewhere else, and that alone had me feelin’ unsettled in a way I wasn’t used to with him.
After a while, I couldn’t just sit here no more, so I got up and made my way to the bathroom.
Soon as I stepped inside, I slowed down a little, takin’ it all in.
His bathroom was clean in a way that felt natural, like this was just how he lived.
The counter was clear except for the things he actually used. There were a few bottles of cologne lined up neat with dark glass and gold tops that smelled rich without even openin’ them. His brush sat off to the side with his grease, everything place in a way that turned me on.
Even the air in here smelled good, fresh, masculine and expensive.
There was a smaller towel already laid out across the sink for me, folded neat, and a fresh bar of soap sat right next to it, unopened, like he already knew I’d be in here behind him.
I opened it, stepped into the shower, and turned the water on.
For a second, I caught myself hopin’ he would walk in behind me, reach around me, adjust the water, say somethin’ or do somethin’ just to close that distance that had settled between us. But he didn’t.
I stepped under the water and let it hit me, lettin’ the warmth slide over my skin, loosening the tension sittin’ in my body. It felt good, it really did, but it didn’t take away that heaviness sittin’ on my heart.
I couldn’t even explain it right, but for a moment, it felt like I had lost Renza, and that feeling didn’t sit right with me at all.
Yeah, I stood on what I said earlier, and yeah, I meant it, but realizin’ I might’ve said it in a way that hit him wrong had me thinkin’ different now. Renza wasn’t a nigga who went quiet like that, and the fact that he did told me I had touched somethin’ deeper than I meant to.
I washed up, rinsed off, and stepped out the shower, dryin’ myself slow while my mind kept runnin’ over the same shit.
I looked at the shirt he gave me, thought about puttin’ it on, then decided not to.
Instead, I walked out just like I was with water still clingin’ to my skin and stepped back into his room.
It was dark and quiet in a way that didn’t feel normal.
I moved toward the bed slowly, feelin’ my way until I found it, then climbed up and crawled over to him, my heart beatin’ a little faster.
“Baby…” I whispered, my voice soft, almost careful.
“Wussup?” he answered.
The tone wasn’t mean, but it wasn’t him either. It was low and flat, like he was still sittin’ somewhere in his head.
That shit stung a little, but I didn’t let it stop me.
I climbed on top of him, straddlin’ him. As soon as I settled, his hands came to my waist like it was second nature, slidin’ up and down slow, like his body knew me even if his mind was still somewhere else.
That small touch alone made me breathe a little easier.
I leaned down and kissed him, soft at first, then deeper, pullin’ his bottom lip into my mouth, suckin’ it slow like I needed him to feel me the way I was feelin’ him.
His grip tightened on my waist with his fingers pressin’ into my skin, holdin’ me here, and just like that, I felt him start to come back to me.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I murmured against his lips, kissin’ him again, slower this time. “I love you.”
He didn’t rush to answer, but his hands stayed on me, movin’, caressin’ and feelin’ me like he was lettin’ himself ease back into the moment instead of forcing it.
“I love you too, baby,” he said after a second, his voice deeper.
That alone softened somethin’ in me, and I buried my face into his neck, breathin’ him in while my fingers slid along his jaw and into his beard, my nails draggin’ through it slow.
“I didn’t mean to rub you wrong,” I whispered.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I understand.”
That was all I needed. I started kissin’ down his neck, takin’ my time while my lips dragged over his skin, and I felt his body react under me.
I moved lower, pressin’ kisses across his chest and over his tattoos, lettin’ my tongue follow behind my lips, tracing every part of him until I reached his stomach.
By the time I got to his sweats, I could already feel his dick hardenin’ under me. It was thick and heavy against my hand, and when I pulled it out, my fingers wrapped around it slow, feelin’ every vein under my palm while it got harder the more I touched it.
I leaned down and took his dick into my mouth, lickin’ around the tip first, lettin’ my tongue drag over it before slidin’ down as far as I could take it.
My lips stretched around him while my tongue moved along his length, and my hand worked the rest of him, jerkin’ what I couldn’t fit while I sucked him deep and slow.
I didn’t rush it. I let that shit build, lettin’ him feel every inch of my mouth while I worked him. My spit started to drip down and coat him until his dick was slick and warm in my hand.
His hand came to my head, his fingers slidin’ into my hair. Then his hand moved down to my jaw, with his thumb rubbin’ it slow while I kept goin’, pushin’ more of him into my mouth until I gagged.
I stayed on it, suckin’ him through it, breathin’ through my nose while my hand kept strokin’ what I couldn’t take.
I kept goin’ until my lips felt numb, and my jaw started to ache. His dick was soaked with my spit, thick and heavy in my mouth, and I could feel him hardenin’ even more the longer I stayed on it.
Then I slid back up his body, my breath a little shaky.
His hands were already waitin’ on me. He grabbed my ass, squeezin’ it hard before guidin’ me down. When I sank onto his dick, my whole body reacted before I could even think.
A low, broken moan slipped out my mouth while my eyes squeezed shut, my body slowly openin’ up around him while I took him inch by inch. His dick stretched me, pressin’ into me in a way that had my stomach tighten while I tried to settle on him.
“Fuck…” I breathed, my voice soft and unsteady while I finally sat all the way down on him.
He filled my pussy completely, damn near every inch of his dick buried in me. I had to take a second, layin’ against his chest while I breathed through it, lettin’ my body adjust to the way he felt inside me.
“It’s okay, baby,” he murmured low, his hand comin’ to the back of my head, pressin’ me closer to him while his other hand slid down to my ass, spreadin’ my pussy open under his grip.
“I got it.”
And he did…
He started movin’ me slow, rollin’ my hips in controlled circles while he pushed up into my pussy at the same time, settin’ a pace that had my body meltin’ into his.
His dick dragged through me deep and real slow, hittin’ in a way that made my toes curl while I stayed right on him with my cheek pressed to his chest. My breath fell out in soft sounds I couldn’t hold in.
“Fuck… Renza…” I whispered, my voice breathy and my body givin’ in to him more with every roll of my hips.
“I know, baby,” he said low, squeezin’ my ass tighter, guidin’ me through it while he kept that same slow, deep rhythm.
His hands moved all over me, slidin’ up my back, pressin’ me down against him, then back to my hips and my ass, holdin’ me where he wanted me while he worked his dick in and out of me without rushin’ it.
My pussy stayed wrapped around him, wet and tight, takin’ every slow push he gave me while my body softened more and more against his.
And that’s when it really hit me… This was how Renza loved.
During tension, he was never with a bunch of talk or long explanations, but through this… through the way he handled me, the way he stayed locked in, he made sure I felt him without havin’ to even speak on it.
I stayed right on him with my face pressed against his chest, lettin’ him move me, and lettin’ myself give in completely while my body followed his rhythm without fightin’ it.
For the rest of the night, I let him love me the only way he knew how, and for once, I didn’t fight it.