Chapter 18 #2
She didn’t argue. She didn’t raise her voice. She just guided me away from the dock like it was already handled.
Once we got a little distance from them, she turned to me. Her expression was still calm but serious in a way that made me straighten up without even thinkin’ about it.
“I like you. You are a wonderful girl,” she said, lookin’ directly at me, “but certain things will not be tolerated.”
I tried to speak, but she lifted her hand just enough to stop me.
I swallowed what I was about to say and just nodded, because I already knew this wasn’t a conversation I was about to win right now.
At the same time, that shit didn’t sit right with me at all because I wasn’t used to nobody talkin’ to me like this, like I was a child who needed to be sent somewhere to cool off.
I kept my face straight and didn’t push it, because I wasn’t about to argue with her, but in the back of my mind, I was already clockin’ what this really was.
This didn’t feel like her just tryin’ to calm the situation down.
This seemed like how things were handled in this family, and whether I liked it or not, I was on the outside of it.
The more I thought about it, the more it started settlin’ in that I didn’t have no real say in nothin’ out here.
Decisions got made, people got adjusted, and if you didn’t fall in line, you got pulled to the side and corrected until you did.
And even though I nodded and went along with it, it didn’t change the fact that I felt it for what it was.
That shit felt like control.
And for the first time since I stepped foot on this yacht, I didn’t feel like I was just here enjoyin’ myself with Renza and his family.
I felt like I was stuck in the middle of somethin’ that was already run a certain way, and I didn’t like how easy it was for me to get pushed into a place that didn’t feel like mine.
By the time I made it back to the room, Renza wasn’t there, and that didn’t help how I was feeling.
I had been tryin’ to adjust the whole time. I had tried to go with the flow, and not to make nothin’ bigger than it needed to be, but no matter, I still ended up feelin’ out of place.
Then the worst fuckin’ part was knowin’ I couldn’t even leave.
I was stuck out there in the middle of the damn ocean with Renza and his family, and for the first time since I got on the yacht, this shit didn’t feel good at all.
I sat on the edge of the bed, textin’ Renza to let him know what went down between me and Pluto.
My thumbs hovered over the screen for a second before I hit send, because even though I knew I wasn’t wrong, I already knew how this was gon’ go.
A few seconds later, my phone buzzed in my hand, and all it said was that he knew, he heard, and he’d be in the room in a minute.
A minute turned into thirty…
By the time the door finally opened, I had already replayed everything in my head more times than I could count, and none of it sat right with me.
Renza finally walked in, lookin’ like he always did when he stepped out.
He was put together too damn well, smellin’ good with a drink in his hand, but the look on his face told me everything before he even said a word.
He looked irritated, like he was already over whatever this conversation was about to turn into.
I didn’t say nothin’ at first, and neither did he. The silence stretched out in a way that made me feel like I was the one in trouble, and like I had to pick my words carefully even though I wasn’t the one who started any of this.
I wasn’t used to feelin’ like I had to walk on eggshells around a man I was dealin’ with, but that’s exactly what it felt like in this moment.
The only thing that came to my mind was the truth.
“I’m ready to go home,” I said, my voice low but clear.
Renza let out a breath and shook his head, like he already knew that was comin’ but didn’t feel like dealin’ with it. “Reni… we in the middle of the ocean,” he said, lookin’ at me now. “We not gettin’ back until two more days.”
I already knew that, but that didn’t mean I liked it.
I pressed my lips together and looked away, not sayin’ nothin’ else because there wasn’t nothin’ I could say to change that.
The room got quiet again, but this time it didn’t feel the same. Renza wasn’t sayin’ nothin’, but I could tell he was thinkin’, and the way he moved told me he was already tired of the whole situation.
I watched him walk over to the recliner and sit down, his body sinkin’ into it while he took a sip from his drink.
He ran his hand down his face slow, like he was tryin’ to collect himself before he said anything else, and for a second, I almost didn’t even wanna say nothin’ else.
But the shit was already out there, and I wasn’t about to just sit here like it didn’t happen.
“She got a problem with me,” I said, finally breakin’ the silence.
He didn’t even look up right away. He took another sip, then leaned his head back for a second before he spoke. “Pluto don’t have a problem with you,” he said, calm but flat. “She never did.”
I rolled my eyes before I could stop myself. I didn’t even have the energy to go back and forth about it no more because every time I tried to explain it, it felt like I was talkin’ in circles. “Whatever,” I muttered, lookin’ off.
Normally, Renza would’ve said more. He would’ve got up, came over to me, tried to talk it through and tried to fix it like he always did, but this time he didn’t.
He just stood up with his drink still in his hand, nodded once like he was done and said, “A’ight then,” before turnin’ and walkin’ right out the room like that was the end of it.
I sat for a second, starin’ at the door like I was waitin’ for him to come back, but he didn’t. The silence that settled in after that felt heavier than anything we had just said to each other, and it hit me hard as fuck because it hurt.
As far as I was concerned, this was the worst trip I had ever been on.
Everything about it felt off. The way I had been treated, the way things kept goin’ and the way me and Renza had been movin’ around each other like we didn’t have a problem when we clearly did.
That shit weighed on me more than I wanted to admit, and sittin’ here by myself in this room made it worse.
I grabbed my phone and called Mecca without even thinkin’ about it because I needed to talk to somebody who actually understood me. The call didn’t go through at first, and I frowned while I pulled the phone away to check the signal before tryin’ again, but it still didn’t connect.
I stood up and moved around the room, then stepped out on the balcony, holdin’ my phone up like that was goim’ to make a difference, even though I already knew how far out we were.
I tried again and watched the screen, waitin’ for it to go through, but it didn’t, so I tried one more time, pressin’ my lips together while that same irritated feeling sat heavy on me.
It took damn near an hour before the call finally started ringin’. The second I heard it connect, I felt somethin’ in my chest loosen just a little.
“Hello?” Mecca’s voice came through, and just hearin’ her made everything I had been holdin’ in start pushin’ up to the surface.
I turned away from the door and wiped my face quick before I spoke, but my voice still came out thicker than I wanted it to. “Mecca…”
She paused for half a second. “What’s wrong?”
I let out a breath and shook my head, even though she couldn’t see me. “Me and Pluto got into it for real,” I said, wipin’ under my eyes again. “Like… really into it.”
“What happened?” she asked.
I started tellin’ her everything about how Pluto had been movin’ since we got on the boat, how she kept suggestin’ shit and everything somehow ended up goin’ her way and how nobody ever said nothin’ about it.
I told her about the game and how every time I got somethin’ wrong about Renza, Pluto had to jump in and correct it in front of everybody like that shit was cute.
“I didn’t like that,” I said, shakin’ my head. “I don’t care how nobody else take it. I don’t like that shit.”
Mecca hummed softly on the other end, lettin’ me talk.
“And then Toni tried to come at me,” I continued. “I wasn’t even talkin’ to her, and she jumped in like she really wanted to go there with me.”
I leaned against the balcony rail, lookin’ out at the water while I kept goin’. “And his mama told me to go to my room like I’m a child. Like… what?”
“That’s crazy,” Mecca said quietly.
“I’m tellin’ you, this shit weird,” I said. “All of it. The way they move, and the way everything run with this family… it’s weird.”
I paused, then added, “And Renza not even hearin’ me. He act like I’m just trippin’.”
Mecca sighed on the other end. “And how long y’all got before y’all get back?”
I let out a breath and rolled my eyes. “Two more fuckin’ days,” I said. “And I already know this shit gon’ feel long as hell.”
She was quiet for a second before she spoke again, her tone softer now. “Just get through it, friend,” she said. “Don’t make it worse than it already is. Them people got all kinds of stories around their name, and you out there by yourself.”
I swallowed and nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “I know.”
“I just need you to make it back,” she continued. “That’s it.”
We stayed on the phone for a while after that, talkin’ about nothin’ and everything at the same time, and by the time we hung up, the sun had already started droppin’.
Day turned into night without me even realizin’ it.
I stayed out on the balcony, sittin’ with the water stretchin’ out in front of me while the breeze hit my skin but did nothin’ to calm me down the way I needed it to.
At some point, I grabbed a drink and then another, tellin’ myself I just needed to take the edge off, but the feelin’ didn’t go nowhere no matter how much I tried to shake it.
It just stayed with me, while everything that happened kept replayin’ in my head whether I wanted it to or not.
Finally, I heard the door open behind me after a while, and I knew it was Renza without even turnin’ around, but I didn’t move or acknowledge it.
I saw him out the corner of my eye walk past, movin’ around the room like I wasn’t even here, and for a second, I thought he was goin’ to come out and say somethin’, but he didn’t.
He went straight to the bathroom, and a few seconds later, I heard the shower come on, and I stayed where I was instead of turnin’ around or sayin’ anything to him.
By the time he came back out, I had already gotten in the bed. I could smell his cologne when he walked past. It was that same scent I used to lean into, but this time I didn’t say nothin’, and he didn’t either.
The bed shifted when he got in, but he didn’t reach for me. He didn’t pull me in or try to touch me. He just laid down on his side, and within a few minutes, it felt like he was already gone.
I stared ahead in the dark with my back turned to him, feelin’ that space between us more than anything.
Right then, I already knew…
This was how the next two days on this damn yacht was about to go.