Chapter 27
Greystone Hospital
Gettin’ robbed and shot really fucked my head up in a way I ain’t even know how to explain.
I done been through shit before. I done argued, fought, stood ten toes in situations where most bitches would’ve folded and I never once felt like I couldn’t handle what was in front of me.
That wasn’t just who I was. I wasn’t scary, and I damn sure ain’t run from shit.
But gettin’ shot scared the fuck outta me.
That moment kept replayin’ in my head no matter how hard I tried to push it out.
I couldn’t stop thinking’ about the way them niggas busted through my door, and how everything happened so fast. It was the sound of my own heart poundin’ in my ears while they had guns in my face like my life ain’t mean shit.
I could still feel the pressure of it, and see it clear as day, and no matter how much I told myself I was okay, my body knew I wasn’t.
My shoulder throbbed under all these bandages.
It was that dull, deep pain remindin’ me that it really happened and that I really got hit.
The doctor had already told me how close I was to dyin’ without actually sayin’ those words.
I was explained how the bullet went in through the back of my shoulder and came out clean, missin’ my heart by just enough to keep me here.
Just enough…. That was crazy.
That part alone had me sittin’ up at night, thinkin’ about how different this could’ve went if it was just a lil’ off. I ain’t even like goin’ too deep into that thought, ’cause it made my chest feel tight.
When I first got here, everything was a blur.
It was voices, hands on me and people talkin’ over each other while I tried to stay awake long enough to tell them what they needed.
I remember clutchin’ my phone, tryna keep my grip on it while I was laid out in the ambulance, gaspin’ for air and fightin’ not to slip away.
“Call… my… mama,” I kept sayin’, my voice barely there while I tried to focus. “Please… call… my mama…”
I gave them my code somehow. I don’t even know how I remembered it in that moment, but it had to be God’s grace for my life and strength.
After that everything started driftin’. I could hear them talkin’, feel them movin’ around me, but my body was givin’ out and I couldn’t stop it.
Next thing I really remember is wakin’ up in the hospital, cryin’.
The shit came out of me before I could stop it, tears fallin’ while my mama sat right here by me, holdin’ my hand and rubbin’ on me like I was a lil’ girl again. I leaned into her, lettin’ myself be soft for once ’cause I ain’t have it in me to be hard right then. Plus, I needed my mama.
“I’m here,” she kept tellin’ me, her voice low but strong. “You okay. You made it.”
The police came in later, askin’ questions, and I gave them what I could, but the truth was I ain’t know shit. I told them it was three of them. I told them how they came in, how they had me open the safe and how one of them shot me when I tried to run, but that was it.
I ain’t know they faces or they names. All I knew was what they did to me.
My phone kept goin’ off after that. It was calls, texts, people checkin’ in, and I answered what I could when I had the strength. My mama handled most of it, talkin’ to family, givin’ updates and keepin’ everybody from blowin’ my phone up too much.
Then Couture called nonstop. He was hurt and I could hear it in his voice. He kept tellin’ me he wished he was here, sayin’ he should’ve never left, and that he was sorry I had to go through this without him bein’ by my side.
“I’m good,” I kept tellin’ him, even though I wasn’t all the way good, and I knew he could hear that shit in my voice no matter how much I tried to make it sound different.
Then there was Toni, and that weighed on me just as heavy, ’cause I hated seein’ her like that.
The lil’ time she was here, she stayed movin’, talkin’ to doctors and checkin’ on me, but I could see the hurt and anger in her face every time she thought nobody was payin’ attention.
It made me feel like I had turned her world upside down just by bein’ laid up in here like this.
After a while, my mama had to leave. She kept sayin’ she ain’t want to, but she had to go get ready for work, and I understood that even if I ain’t like it.
I wanted to ask her to stay. I wanted to tell her I ain’t feel safe yet, that my mind was still stuck in that moment and I ain’t know how to come out of it. But I ain’t say it.
I just nodded and let her go, watchin’ her walk out the room, actin’ like I was stronger than I really felt.
The second that door closed, everything hit me again.
I laid here starin’ up at the ceilin’, tryna breathe through it, but my thoughts wouldn’t slow down. All I could see was them three niggas, hear they voices, and feel that fear creepin’ back in my spirit like it never left.
My eyes filled up again before I could stop it, tears slidin’ down the sides of my face while I tried to pull myself together.
Who sent them?
That question kept comin’ back.
Who knew I had money like that?
Who was watchin’ me close enough to know I had cash in that safe?
The more I thought about it, the worse it got, and for the first time in a long time, I felt alone.
My chest started risin’ faster with my thoughts racin’, and I could feel myself startin’ to spiral before I even realized it.
Then the door opened…
I turned my head slow, not even expectin’ nothin’ but a nurse or somebody comin’ in to check on me.
But when I saw Renza, I swallowed hard.
He filled the doorway without sayin’ a word. Just as I remembered, he was tall, solid, dark, and calm in a way that made everything around him feel smaller.
It had been a minute since I seen him, but nothin’ about him changed.
He still had that same presence, and that same energy that made people get the fuck out his way.
In this moment, I felt… safe.
My body relaxed before I could even think about it, my shoulders droppin’ while I looked at him, and I ain’t even realize how bad I needed that until he was right here in front of me. He was the last person I expected to see, but for some odd reason, it kinda made sense.
Renza walked in slow with his eyes locked on me, and I could see the anger he was holdin’ back.
He stopped by my bed and looked down at me, and I looked back up at him with tears slidin’ from my eyes again without me tryna stop them this time.
He ain’t say nothin’ at first. He just reached out, wiped my cheek with his thumb, then took my hand in his and brought it up, pressin’ his lips against the back of it.
That caught me off guard, cause Renza ain’t never did no shit like this with me. We always joked, argued, played around, but we ain’t never kissed on each other.
He lowered my hand back down and looked at me again, his voice low when he finally spoke.
“You good now. I’m here.”
For the first time since all this shit happened… I believed it.
I had been at the hospital for four days and if I was bein’ honest, I could’ve been outta there two days ago, but them pain meds through the IV had me feelin’ like I could wait a lil’ longer to leave.
Every time they came in askin’ me how I was feelin’, I made sure I answered just just enough to keep them from rushin’ me out the bed, but don’t get it twisted, my shoulder was really fucked up.
That damn bullet went through the back of my shoulder and came out the front, and even though they kept sayin’ I was lucky and nothin’ major got hit, that ain’t mean it felt good.
Every time I moved wrong or forgot my shoulder was fucked up for a second and tried to use my arm like normal, the pain would remind me real quick that I wasn’t back to myself yet.
Still, I wasn’t laid up in there cryin’ all day either.
I had my moments, but for the most part, I was still me. I was still talkin’ shit with the nurses, still rollin’ my eyes when they came in botherin’ me too early and findin’ a way to laugh even when I probably shouldn’t have been. And through all that, Renza had been right there, every single day.
He ain’t come in like his usual loud self, but he just showed up and stayed put like the chair next to my bed had his name on it.
When I woke up, he was there. When I fell asleep, he was there. Half the time I had to tell him to go stretch or move around just so he wouldn’t be sittin’ in one spot all day.
He ain’t have to but he got a rental and booked a whole Airbnb that he hadn’t even stepped foot in it yet. He really chose that hospital chair over a whole bed and ain’t complain about it not one time.
He made sure I ate too, and not that weak food they kept bringin’ in on them trays, but real food.
He bought shit that actually tasted good, and made me feel normal for a second.
He stayed on me about my meds like he was the one who prescribed them, watchin’ the clock and handin’ them to me without even askin’ if I was ready.
My mama noticed it too…
She had been comin’ up to the hospital every day, sittin’ with me, fussin’ over me, askin’ questions and makin’ sure everything was how it needed to be.
The first time she met Renza, I could already tell she was tryna read gin and figure out what his place was around me. But he handled himself right.
He spoke when he needed to, stayed respectful, didn’t overstep and after that she ain’t question him bein’ by my side no more. She started leavin’ me with him like she knew I was in good hands, and that actually said more than anything she could’ve told me.
Couture called when he could, and I ain’t hold that against him, ’cause I knew he was out there workin’ and I knew he couldn’t just drop everything and get to me.
But the further he got out in water, the harder it got for him to stay in touch, and them calls started gettin’ shorter and more spread out.
Meanwhile, Renza ain’t miss a day. I ain’t speak on it, but my spirit felt it.
By the fourth day, the doctors and nurses finally came in talkin’ like I really had to go this time, and I already knew I couldn’t play it off no more, so I called my mama while they was gettin’ everything together for me.
“You need to come home with me, ‘Nelle,” she said soon as I told her I was gettin’ discharged. “You don’t need to be back home by yo’self right now.”
“I’m not goin’ back to my apartment, mama,” I told her, keepin’ my tone calm. “I got somewhere else to go. I’m good.”
She paused, and I knew she ain’t like that answer, but she also knew me well enough not to keep pushin’ once I said I had it handled.
“Call me when you get there, and I’m not fuckin’ playin’ ‘Nelle,” she said finally.
“I got you, mama,” I replied before tellin’ her I love her, then hangin’ up.
Renza came in not long after with a wheelchair, already lookin’ at me like he knew I was finna say somethin’.
“I ain’t gon’ be pushin’ you around all day, girl,” he muttered.
I rolled my eyes at him but still let him help me up, movin’ careful so I ain’t pull my shoulder the wrong way.
Renza finally wheeled me out the hospital.
That bubble I had been sittin’ in for four days was gone, and everything started feelin’ real again, but Renza stayed in my presence, so I couldn’t get too deep in my head.
He helped me into the passenger seat, slow and careful so he wouldn’t bump my arm, then went around and got in on his side.
The ride was quiet, but it was cool ’cause I ain’t feel like talkin’.
After a minute, I looked over at him.
“You ain’t gotta put me in no Airbnb or stay with me,” I said.
He ain’t even glance my way, but just kept his eyes on the road like that was the only thing that mattered right now.
“‘Nelle… don’t tell me what to do.”
I ain’t say nothin’ else after that. I just sat back and let the rest of the ride play out until we pulled up to the house.
It was nice too. It was real quiet, and tucked away.
Renza got out and left me in the car for a minute while he handled the front, gettin’ the key out the lock box and goin’ inside.
I watched him through the windshield, saw him move through the house, then come back out and walk around it, checkin’ everything like he needed to make sure it was solid before I even stepped out.
Only after that did he come open my door. He helped me out, kept me close without makin’ it feel like too much and walked me inside.
The house felt good. It was quiet, and felt safe. I ain’t even realize I needed this until I was standin’ in it.
Renza went back out to grab the bags, then came back in and locked the door behind him before settin’ everything down.
I watched him for a second before I spoke.
“How long you plan on stayin’ out here?” I asked.
He ain’t look at me when he answered. He was movin’ around, doin’ what he felt like needed to be done, but his voice came out low and sure.
“Until we find them three niggas who played with you.”
And the way he said it…I knew he meant every word.