Chapter 21 Serena
SERENA
Every little noise, every breeze rustling the palms has me looking over my shoulder.
I’m wary of everything. Unused to conversation. Unused to the sun’s unfettered beams on my pale skin. The influx of fresh air, the humidity of the sea—it all seems too extreme to handle.
I know I haven’t seen the last of Kylian. He won’t let me go. Not without a fight.
Jace placed a shield around our camp so we should at least be safe for the night. But it’s only a matter of time before we meet to finish what we started.
Once the fire dwindles, Mar and Dover retreat into one tent, Ilayna into another.
Mar was able to take away some of Furi’s pain, but until I have my own magic back along with a direct link to her thoughts, I won’t know the extent of her injuries.
I feel useless. I wait until she’s asleep, snoring lightly, her tail curled around our camp like a protective watchdog before I slip inside the tent that houses a sleeping Kai, still unconsciously fighting for his life.
I shift his head into my lap and stroke his hair, listening to his even breaths. Thank god he’s not awake to feel the pain anymore.
Zadyn joins me a moment later, stretching out on his side.
“So? Are we going to talk about what you did?”
His eyes search mine. I avert my gaze. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Serena—”
“I wasn’t suicidal, alright? I was trying to protect you. All of you.”
“From what?”
He waits for me to elaborate. I draw in a long breath.
“Kylian showed me this mirror—a mirror into the future. If I were to keep refusing him…you all would have died. Hell, you still might,” I mutter, defeated. “That’s why you should have just let me die. I could have protected you.”
He shakes his head. “You can’t trust anything he showed you.”
“I saw you all die…I felt you. I held your body, Zadyn.” I look over him, cringing at the memory of his lifeless weight in my arms.
Zadyn props himself up on his forearm. “Serena, he has an entire room full of magic mirrors. You don’t think he has one for illusions?”
“No.” I shake my head, something in my bones warning me. “No, it was real.”
Those visions were so visceral. I could feel everything. I could feel those beautiful boys with the dark hair and eyes the color of the Praxian Sea. I felt a sense of completion—pride and joy.
I felt all of that in a scenario where my friends were dead.
The guilt of that unborn future haunts me.
“He was manipulating you. Everything he did was to force you into marriage—into performing the Bloodfast with you.” Anger laces his every word.
“The Bloodfast,” I repeat. “Why?”
“Because”—he sighs—“it would have given him access to his full power. And if you were married, any offspring of yours would be considered legitimate, and therefore eligible to inherit both your power and the power of his entire bloodline someday.”
Wow.
“Those visions were just another way to terrorize you, to scare you. It was all just part of the plan.”
I let the possibility of what Zadyn is suggesting seep in. Kylian is a liar and a deceiver. Could it have been an illusion? I guess. Though I’m not willing to risk their lives on a possible falsity.
“You don’t know that for certain.”
“I don’t care! Don’t ever do anything like that again. I could feel you dying.” He brushes his hand over my cheek. “I’ve never felt anything that excruciating. Sacrificing yourself…it’s out of the question. Do you understand me?”
I nod reluctantly as Jace slips into the tent. Zadyn drops his hand.
A light breeze rolls through the flap, and Jace catches me shiver. He ducks out and returns a minute later, holding a bundle of clothes.
“You’ll freeze in that thing,” he says, looking over my torn, bloodstained dress with disdain.
“Where did you get these?”
“Ilayna packed a bag for you,” Zadyn answers.
Careful not to jostle Kai, I gently set his head down and stand with my back to them. “Could you undo this?”
“Yes.”
Two voices answer me.
I twist to find them both on their feet, motionless, glancing from me to each other. Jace steps back first, giving Zadyn an opening to start on the small buttons down the length of my back. His fingers graze my exposed skin, sparking up a fresh wave of goosebumps.
“There you go.” His soft voice hits the back of my neck.
I shudder, feeling the ghost of a touch over my shoulder blade before he drops his hand and steps away to give me my privacy.
The two of them face the other way while I throw on the blousy top and fitted black pants. I discard the dress in the corner, fighting the urge to tear it into tiny pieces and set it on fire.
“Decent.”
A quiet moment passes as I settle back on the ground, absorbing the weight of their stares. Something in me feels settled with the two of them near. Centered, even in the face of this shitstorm.
“What’s with the choker?” Jace asks, slinging his arm over his knee.
I keep my focus on Kai’s heavy lashes, twitching periodically.
“He made me keep it on.”
“And what else did he make you do?”
“Jace,” Zadyn warns.
“I need to know so I can decide which form of torture to start with before I string him from a tree and gut him with the dullest knife I can find.”
His murderous eyes lock on mine.
“You don’t have to talk about anything until you’re ready,” Zadyn says.
I toss him a thankful look before turning to Jace, who clearly doesn’t share the same sentiment as my familiar.
“You might want to talk to Kai. He’s the one you should be avenging,” I mutter, not in the mood for the alpha male threats.
Jace leans forward. “He forced you to wear his gods-damned ruby collar and that gaudy ring. I hope that doesn’t mean what I think it does.”
“It doesn’t mean anything. He was going to kill Kai. I’d wear both for an eternity if it meant keeping my friend safe from him.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“He never hit me. And anyone who did was punished severely.” I choose my words carefully. But he must pick up on something in my tone.
“Did he do something other than hit you?”
I roll my eyes up to the ceiling. “What is it you really want to know, Jace?”
“Did he make you fuck him?”
My mouth falls open. “I don’t want to discuss this right now.”
“So he did.” Jace’s hands curl into tight fists.
“She said she’s not discussing it.”
“He didn’t force me. It was my choice.”
Their eyes hit me like two sets of darts. I stare at the ground, my face on fire.
No one speaks.
I shouldn’t have said it. But right now, I just don’t have the energy to dance around it.
“Serena.” Zadyn packs so much sympathy into those three syllables, it forces me to look up at him. Then to Jace.
His entire face falls. “You didn’t.”
“What was I supposed to do?” I whisper.
“Anything but that!” Jace explodes, slamming his palm into the ground so hard I flinch. “I should have murdered that bastard when I had the chance.”
“You weren’t there.”
I keep my voice steady when all I want to do is fucking cry. I feel shitty enough as it is—I don’t need the looks they’re giving me on top of it.
“You don’t know what it was like, what I watched him do to Kai.”
“I don’t care what he did to Kai—how could you?”
My cheeks sting at the accusation, the pure revulsion in his tone.
“Jace,” Zadyn repeats, but Jace ignores him, leaping to his feet.
“You are mine,” he snarls.
I laugh. “You sound just like him.”
“Like Kylian?”
“Yes.”
“Funny. Except you seemed pretty into the idea of fucking me the night you bonded the dragon, and it didn’t take any coercion on my part.”
A deadly silence creeps over the tent as my eyes narrow, and I’m almost certain whatever Jace sees in them makes his hand twitch toward his sword.
“How dare you,” I seethe. “How dare you even think that after everything. I am not yours, and I never was. What’s yours is back at the castle you abandoned, probably worried and devastated that her betrothed is off chasing after someone else.”
He crosses the tent to stand over me.
“Don’t minimize this. I came here for you. Because I couldn’t live with myself if I stayed behind and you…Didn’t you know I would come for you? I came here consequences be damned, only to find you’d whore yourself out at the first sign of trouble.”
Zadyn is up in an instant, his hand wrapped around Jace’s throat, fangs bared and ready to do some serious damage.
“Let him go,” I command, my voice cold as ice. Zadyn slowly releases his hold, staying planted between us. I keep my voice low as I address Jace.
“Don’t you dare judge me. I did what I had to do to keep his attention off of Kai.
I did what I had to do to keep my friend alive.
To keep you and the rest of the people I love safe from being used against me.
You have no idea what he would have done to you and Zadyn and Mar if he had gotten his hands on you, you idiot.
I did what was necessary. And I will not be ashamed of that.
Don’t you dare call me a whore. Don’t you dare judge me. ”
And with that, I storm out of the tent.
I stand barefoot in the water, the tide kissing my ankles as the night breeze plays with my hair.
My toes are bordering on numb, but I don’t flinch at the cold. I need to feel something.
Footsteps sound from behind me. I don’t turn. I already know it’s Zadyn from his scent.
Staring out at the gentle waves, I reach around my neck and unclasp the heavy ruby choker. Something in my chest eases as it falls into my hands.
I can breathe again.
I suck down a greedy lungful of air, feeling over the smooth skin of my neck. The rubies glitter beneath the moonlight as I turn them over in my fingers.
I hurl the choker as far as I can into the distance where it lands with the quietest splash and sinks to the bottom of the ocean.
Then I slip the ring off my finger and with one final look, I do the same. I don’t touch the locket full of secret starlight. I allow it to remain around my neck. Just in case I need it.
We stand there in silence.
Zadyn doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to.