Chapter 33 Zadyn
ZADYN
“Stop!”
Halfway down the lawn, we turn to see Mar jogging toward us, a shadow in the darkness.
“Leaving without saying goodbye?”
“It’s not goodbye. It’s see you later,” Serena clarifies.
“Potato, potahto.” Mar slows to a stop as she reaches us. “You’re going to Hyrax, aren’t you?”
Serena nods, looking somewhat numb.
“I’m coming with you.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Mar. Things are a mess right now, Derek is—” Serena shakes her head, unable to complete the thought.
“I know. But there is nothing I can do here. I can help you find a way to get this portal closed. We can end this. For Derek.” She takes Serena’s hands.
I sling my bag higher across my chest, anxious to get on the road. My only concern right now is getting Serena out of here as quickly as possible after that attack. It’s not safe for her here. Not right now.
“Come on. It can’t hurt to have another witch on the job. One who is, you know, older, wiser, more beautiful.” Mar tosses her auburn hair over her shoulder.
A crack appears in Serena’s frown, but she still looks torn. And we don’t have much time to debate this.
“Sure you’re up for this? It could be dangerous,” I inform Mar. She should know what she’s getting herself into.
“Even better.” She shrugs, crossing her lithe arms.
Serena looks at me. I know she wants Mar to come. And the truth is, we could probably use her help. She’s just afraid of putting her friend at risk and doesn’t want to be the one to decide.
Fuck it. I’ll decide for her.
“If you can be ready in ten minutes, you can come.”
“I’ll be ready in nine.”
Mar claps her hands together and disappears into the warm light coming from the castle. The ward masons worked fast, mending most of the exterior of the keep and wiping away the debris on the lawns.
“Are you alright?” I lay a hand on Serena’s shoulder. She shakes her head, casting a wistful glance toward the keep.
“It’s not me I’m worried about.”
Of course. Jace.
Always Jace.
No matter how many times he hurts her, she finds a way to forgive and forget. And he knows she always will.
Finding them the way I did in her room, my envy was second only to my sympathy. I can barely tolerate the man, but the way he clung to her, his face addled with desperation, with loss…I know what it’s like to lose a father. So does Serena.
This is a mess. The last thing she needed right now was to lose Derek. Just as she was starting to heal, starting to flourish. I’m worried about what this will do to her.
I wish I could somehow fix it. Somehow fill all the holes in her heart.
“Serena—”
“No, don’t give me that look. I can’t do it right now. If I let myself think about it…I’ll fall apart, and right now all of us need me together.”
I nod, dropping my hand.
We wait in somber silence, listening to the cicadas sing in the trees. Furi circles overhead, her silhouette zig-zagging across the full moon.
Mar reappears after a few minutes with a bag thrown over her shoulder and two males at her side, one of them limping.
Why am I not surprised?
“You know what they say,” Kai breathes as they make their way down to us. He’s slightly winded by the time they stop. “Two is company, three’s a party.”
“And five is way too many,” Serena scoffs.
“I tried to say no, but they insisted.” Mar holds up her hands, casting a look at her mate.
“Kai, I don’t think it’s a good idea. You should be letting that leg heal.”
“Serena, don’t baby me, alright? We’re in this mess because of my scum-lord brother. This is the least I can do. Let me help. Please.”
“You’ve already helped. You’ve done more than enough, I can’t ask you to—”
Kai steps forward and pinches Serena’s lips together. “It’s not up for debate.”
She swats him away. “Fine.”
Tipping her head up to the sky, she lets out a loud whistle. Furi stops her path mid-loop to land beside us. I settle into the saddle behind Serena, going rigid when she reaches back to slide my arms around her waist.
She turns over her shoulder to look at me. “Comfortable?”
“As I can be,” I breathe, my skin prickling at her touch.
She gives me a small smile. “You can get closer, Zadyn, I’m not gonna bite.”
I scoot forward until her back meets my chest. She’s fitted flush against me, basically in my lap. The scent of her hair washes over me, and I want to bury my face in it.
This is going to be a long, torturous ride.
A moment later, we’re airborne, disappearing into the stars.
“Why is it fucking freezing here?”
I can hear Marideth’s teeth chattering from across the fire.
We’re nestled inside a glen of white-dusted evergreens just over the Hyraxian border. Snow-capped mountains surround us as we sit around the fire, watching the black smoke dissolve into the night sky.
The wind kicks up the snow clinging to the fir-lined boughs, sending soft wisps swirling around us. Serena shivers beside me. I slide my jacket off and sling it around her shoulders, then tuck her into my side.
“Body heat.” She gives me a grateful nod.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that, bud.
“So do we have a plan, or are we just going to wing it?” Kai drawls.
“I have a friend here who might be able to help us,” I respond.
We fall back into silence. Derek’s loss hangs overhead, consuming every bit of air in the glen. I can feel the sorrow rolling off Serena, dimming the light that always seems to hover around her.
“Maybe we should say a few words,” Dover suggests, glancing around the fire. “For the king.”
Everyone is quiet, staring into the flames.
“I’ll start.” Kai presses to his feet, struggling to balance on his good leg.
“Derek was a good male and a strong king. Far better than my mother deserved. I wasn’t always his favorite—in fact, I don’t think I ever was.
But the day we met, he clapped me on the back and looked me in the eye.
It was the first time someone had done that in years.
Looked me in the eye and actually saw me.
And he said”—Kai smiles to himself— “‘I’m sorry for your loss. But know that you always have a home here. And a father if you so desire. My door is always open.’”
He lets out a bleak laugh. “With that one line, he was more of a father to me than mine ever was. I regret not taking him up on it. The open door. The fatherhood. I regret not being his son.”
Kai lifts his flask, takes a sip, and pours some of its contents onto the freshly fallen snow. “Long live the king.”
“He was kind,” Marideth murmurs, her hand twining with Dover’s. “Fierce. And generous. He loved his kingdom, and he died defending it. There’s honor in that.”
“He welcomed all of us. Depraved as we are,” Dover says, a nostalgic smile on his face. “How many times he could have tossed us out and banished us for corrupting his daughter.”
Kai snickers. “She corrupted us first, and everyone knows it.”
“He was a friend to my parents,” I find myself saying. “He loved them. He didn’t know me, had no reason to put his faith in me, but he did. Trusted me to be on his council. He’s probably half the reason I’m here today.”
The last link to my parents may be gone, but if not for Derek, they would never have bound me to Serena in the first place. I could have gone a lifetime not knowing her. A lifetime missing someone I’d never met.
I guess I have him to thank for that.
“I was too slow,” Serena blurts, lost in the fire. “I was too slow. If I had screamed sooner, he might still be here.”
I angle myself toward her. “This was not your fault. Alright? This is on Kylian and those monsters,” I tell her, but I don’t think she hears me.
“I could have stopped it. Derek—” She breaks off.
Then the flames begin to swell, blasting upward with a loud rush. All of us amble backward except for Serena. She doesn’t move. She stares, entranced by the flames, and that’s when I realize she’s the one doing it.
“Serena.” I clasp her shoulders, shaking her. The flames burst higher as she watches, a slave to her own magic. “Serena, the flames. You have to calm down.”
Furi lets out a whine, shifting around in circles, tail tucked between her legs. Serena trembles as her knees crash into the snow.
“Serena, look at me.”
“It isn’t fair. Twice. I had to lose him twice. How is that—how is that fair…” She shakes her head as the flames surge again. I take her face in my hands, sinking down in front of her.
“It’s not, sweetheart, it’s not. But you have to breathe. You have to leave that fire alone.”
Leave it alone, I urge.
Finally, her eyes snap to me, some awareness budding there. The flames recede to normal magnitude, and her face goes blank like she just woke up in an unfamiliar place. She opens her mouth, but something draws her attention upward, and she gasps.
Above us is a myriad of colors painting the starry sky every color of the rainbow.
“What is that?” she asks in wonder.
“The Alto Luminaria. Northern lights,” I translate, following her gaze upward.
“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”
I have.
“It’s rare to be able to see them this clearly from across the sea. They’re supposed to be a harbinger of good luck.”
“About fucking time,” Dover mutters.
Serena watches the lights wave through the sky like a color-changing flag. She blinks as something wet lands on her cheek.
Then it starts to snow.
Grief paused, I catch her smile—actually smile—stretching her palms out to catch the flakes. The others stare at her like she’s crazy while I fight the urge to grab her and put my mouth on hers.
“Fucking fantastic,” Mar drones.
“You guys don’t like snow? What’s wrong with you?”
“I don’t like to be cold and wet,” Mar says, staring up at the flurries with contempt.
Serena scoops up a handful of snow, patting it into a tight ball. It smacks into Mar’s back with a satisfying thump.
Mar whirls, silver eyes blazing. “I hope you find hypothermia funny!”
Wasting no time, she packs together a ball of her own. Serena cackles as it hits her sleeve and crumbles. Mar’s stone face cracks, and a reluctant giggle slips out.
“Well. It’s official.” Kai leans back as white flakes begin to dust his raven hair. “They’ve snapped.”
His face lashes to the side as Serena pelts him with a wicked throw.
Then it’s war. We fight until our faces, our fingers, our toes are numb. The flakes continue to fall in thick clumps, dusting our heads and soaking through our clothes until the whole forest is covered in a smooth white blanket.
I sink down, breathless, beside Serena, who’s splayed out in the snow, arms spread wide like an angel. Her head falls toward me, frost turning her cheeks the perfect shade of pink.
“Hi.” She smiles, and it knocks the wind from me.
She has the best smile. Her entire face lights up, and it’s just stunning. I have to look away before I can speak.
“Mar was right. One of us is bound to lose a limb if we stay out here any longer.”
We find a cave not too far away. Furi curls up at the mouth, blocking out some of the harsh wind. Serena sparks another fire, and we huddle close to the flames, Dover spooning Mar and Kai spooning Dover.
And me spooning Serena.
Because that’s not awkward at all. Though she doesn’t seem to mind, fitting herself against me as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.
I’m finally starting to doze when I feel her shudder against me.
“Are you still cold?” I ask, leaning over her. She shakes her head, eyes squeezed shut, tears glistening on her cheek. “Serena.”
He’s dead. Her lip trembles despite how hard she’s clamping down on it.
My shoulders sink. I know.
It felt like I had just gotten him back, you know? Even in my mind, her thoughts are a whisper. I thought we’d have more time. I thought maybe he could know me. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to say anything.
I cradle her face, feeling her pain, her sorrow wash over me like a tidal wave. She rolls over to face me and buries herself in my chest. My heart comes apart for her.
What I wouldn’t give to be able to absorb all that pain, to take it from her. Yet for all the magic in this world, I can’t do anything but hold her while she cries herself to sleep.
I wake with her still tucked against me, her head lolling against my bicep. Rather than jostling her, I accept that I might lose the limb and lower my head back down to rest beside hers.
This feels so right—waking up to her curled against me. But then those long, heavy lashes lift, and I come crashing right back down to earth.
I’m still thinking about it as we load onto Furi’s back and sail into the frigid skies.
“Head northeast,” I say from behind her in the saddle. Furi glides onward until the dark iron spires of Castle Bellsphere come into view.
“This is where you want to land? Are you sure?” Serena shouts over the wind, twisting to look at me.
I nod. “Trust me.”
She chuckles. “You’re lucky I do.”