Chapter 44 Serena
SERENA
“Why are you all flushed?” Mar asks as I slip into her room.
Because Zadyn just backed me into a wall, groped my ass, and kissed me, and now all I can think about is doing it again.
“Soldiers,” I flub, pointing toward the door. She arches an auburn brow. “There are Vod soldiers out there with wanted signs.”
“Ugh, not again.”
Kai and Dover are in the middle of a chess match, Eaton caught between them.
“Where’s your boy?” he asks over their bickering.
I freeze. “What?”
“Zadyn?”
“Oh, that boy!” I force a laugh. “He’s upstairs, he’ll be down soon.”
Nice. Not obvious at all.
Eaton redirects his attention to the board, shaking his head like I’m a basket case. He’s not wrong.
“What is the matter with you right now?” Mar mutters, drifting past me to join her mate.
“We should probably pack up and leave, right?” I pivot, trying to force the feel of Zadyn’s hands from my mind.
“Maybe wait until nightfall or early morning,” Dover says, knocking one of Kai’s pieces from the board. “It’s not wise to flee while they’re buzzing around.”
“Cheat,” Kai snips. Eaton snickers.
“How are they tracking us?” I move to the window, absently toying with my locket. Then I remember it’s from Kylian and drop it like a hot cake.
I still don’t know why I decided to keep the damn thing. I’ve been telling myself it’s just because the gift is really cool. I mean, there’s a star fragment around my neck. How many people could say that? Or maybe it’s just a physical representation of my trauma.
And we all know how much I love to cozy up to that late at night.
The door opens, and Zadyn steps through, eyes going right to me.
Act normal, act normal, act normal.
“I told them,” I blurt.
He turns bright pink.
Oh, he thinks I’m talking about the kiss! I burst into laughter.
“About the soldiers,” I finish.
“Oh.” He clears his throat, making his way to the boys.
Dear gods, Blackblood, Furi groans. I can feel her rolling those giant green eyes at me.
What? I retort, trying to keep from looking at Zadyn again. It’s not easy, let me tell you.
Eaton shifts his gaze between the two of us. Probably picking up on the awkward tension sucking all the air from the room. “I agree with Dover. Stay another night, head back before the sun comes up.”
“Good plan.” Zadyn keeps his head down as he sinks into a chair, his knee bouncing with nervous energy.
Mar’s silver stare burns into me from her seat on Dover’s lap. And judging by the diabolical smirk on her face, we’re not fooling anyone.
Zadyn doesn’t come back to the room.
He stays downstairs with Eaton, drinking well into the night as I toss and turn upstairs. Annoyed because he kissed me and groped me and now he’s acting weird.
Typical. Fucking. Male.
I toss back the covers and pad into the hall, making my way down to Mar’s room.
“Move over,” I hiss into the dark. Mar sits up, squinting at me.
“What in hell?” Dover grumbles as I slide under the covers beside his mate.
“I need to vent.”
Mar casts him a pleading look. He groans, scooping up his pillow and stumbling from the bed. “I’ll be in Kai’s room.”
“I love you!” The door slams shut. Mar turns to me. “This better be good.”
“Zadyn kissed me.”
Her eyes gleam. “Oh, it’s good. Tell me everything.”
When I’m finished recounting our makeout session in the town square, Mar slumps back against the headboard, looking pleased with herself.
“I knew it,” she gushes.
“But now he won’t even look at me. You know what, though? It’s for the best. Things with Jace are complicated enough. To even add someone else into the mix, let alone my familiar—” I shudder.
“First off”—she holds up a finger—“Jace is not a factor in this equation. He is still engaged.”
“Yet he still came all the way to Vod to help rescue me. I know you want to keep minimizing things with us, but Jace loves me. I know he does.”
And if I’m being honest, there is this stupidly hopeful part of me that still loves him.
Kissing Zadyn had felt good—like a cool salve on a fresh burn. For a moment, I almost forgot about that dull ache in my chest. The one Jace left there. I forgot about missing him. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a bit guilty about that.
But Mar is right. He’s not a factor here. And he never will be again.
“That has never been up for debate.” She sighs. “I just want what’s best for you. Someone who won’t hurt you. Intentionally or unintentionally.”
“I know.”
When I finally drag myself upstairs, Zadyn is sitting in the wide leather chair across from the bed, a glass of whiskey in his hand. He stirs when I shut the door.
“Didn’t mean to wake you,” I say, slinking back into bed.
“You didn’t.” He lifts the glass to his lips and takes a long pull.*
I nestle into the pillow, facing him. We outright stare at each other as he sets down the drink and drags his pointer finger along the rim of the glass. My breathing quickens.
“Listen,” he finally says, glancing away from me. “I’m sorry if that made you…uncomfortable earlier.”
“It didn’t.”
His gaze flickers up to mine.
“You glamoured us. Were you just taking extra precautions or something?”
“Yeah. Or something.”
The air around us grows thicker, making me aware of every minuscule move he makes—the twitch of his finger against the glass, the pulse of blood flowing through the veins in his neck, the slight darkening of his eyes.
I reach out to pat the space behind me. Without breaking our stare, he climbs onto the bed. We match postures, an inch of space between us. I can smell the whiskey on his lips. I think about leaning forward to taste it for myself.
“What are we doing?” His voice is barely a whisper.
“I don’t know, you tell me.”
He gives an exasperated sigh and closes his eyes. “I don’t think I have to. I think you know.”
I study him, contemplating. Then I slide a touch closer. He cracks his brown eyes to peer down at me. “It’s a bad idea.”
“What is?”
“This.”
“This?” I prod. “Why don’t we stop talking in riddles and actually say what we mean?”
“You sure you’re ready for that?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He hits me with a lopsided grin, flaunting a single dimple that makes my heart catch.
“I have no problem saying what I want and what I mean. But only if you’re ready to hear it.”
“Then say it. What you want and what you mean.”
He leans in, his next words a tease. “I don’t think you can handle it.”
Pfft. “Try me.”
Alright. What I want—
He slides closer—close enough for me to feel the heat rolling off his skin, his slow, even breaths on my lips.
Is to shove you up against that wall and kiss you until your knees buckle.
And I don’t mean the kind of kissing we did in the street.
I want to take my time getting to know every single inch of you, every patch of skin.
I want my hands buried in this hair. I want them all over your body until you combust.
Oh. My. God.
Somewhere during that startlingly hot confession, his fingers have found their way to my face, hooking over my jaw and tugging my bottom lip down like this body of mine belongs to him.
My mouth goes dry as I stare at him, unblinking. He chuckles, releasing me and falling onto his back. “Told ya you weren’t ready.”
I force myself to swallow. “That doesn’t count. You thought it. You didn’t say it.”
He laughs up at the ceiling. “Still a bad idea.”
“What is?”
“Kissing you again.”
“You’re right. It’s probably a terrible idea.”
A secret dare slips into my voice, hooking Zadyn’s attention. He flips back onto his side, eyeing my mouth.
“Probably.”
“There’s really only one way to know for certain.”
“You’re not wrong.”
“Yeah. I mean, we should just see. For—for science.”
“Right. For Science.” He nods, staring as if hypnotized by my mouth. I’m not sure he’s even conscious that the following words slip out. “And because I really want to fucking kiss you again.”
A flare of warmth licks up the wall of my stomach. His hand slides over my waist and scoops me closer. Then with torturous, painful slowness, he leans down, dipping his face to mine.
That’s when the door flies open, and Zadyn whirls so fast he falls out of the bed. I bolt upright.
Eaton and the others are standing in the doorway, eyes wide.
“The inn is on fire. They’ve found us. We have to go.”
* Cue: Ruin My Life by Zara Larsson