Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
I stare at the white wall as I lie in Daddy’s bed. I don’t know how long it’s been since he left, but it feels like a week. A very long week. But I know it hasn’t even been half a day. Daddy would never let me skip that many meals.
“Leah.” Daddy’s gentle voice fills the room.
Tears pool in my eyes as he calls me by my first name, not the nickname I have come to hate so much.
Do I really hate it?
I push that thought to the back of my mind. I can’t think about that. But I can’t help the other thoughts and questions creeping in. He called me by my first name. Does that mean he doesn’t want me any longer?
“It’s time for you to eat again. I let you skip your earlier bottle, but I can’t let you miss any more. I don’t want you to lose the weight that we’ve worked so hard to put on,” Daddy says as he walks in and fills my vision.
I blink several times as I look up at him. His figure is blurry with all the tears in my eyes, but I don’t blink them away. I don’t want to see the real thing and make myself cry even more.
“You don’t have to talk. Just let me hold you while you drink so you don’t choke, and then I’ll leave you alone.” He sounds so sad.
I stay still as he puts the bottle on the nightstand and gets comfortable on the bed. He moves me carefully while keeping the blanket around me. I clench my jaw as I subconsciously tilt my head toward his body, wanting to be as close to him as possible.
“Open your mouth and start drinking,” Daddy says.
I close my eyes and open my mouth. If I look at Daddy, there is no going back. I’m a goner whenever he looks at me tenderly. Will I get over this when he sends me back to the space station?
“I’m sorry, Little pet,” he whispers. “I didn’t want to have to do that to you, but I was so worried that you were going to hurt yourself.
I wanted to stop you from doing that. I should have tried harder to help you calm down, but I was worried that if I tried to touch you to do that, you would thrash around and hit your hand, feet, or head on the walls or furniture and get hurt really badly. ”
Daddy’s right, though. I would have done that if he had tried to touch me at that moment. I would have tried to get out of his reach, just like I did when he held me and Yamal stuck me with the needle.
“I’m going to try and win your forgiveness.
I don’t care if it takes the rest of our lives; I will show you how sorry I am.
I will grovel as much as you want me to,” Daddy goes on.
“But I’m not going to leave you because I don’t think you want to be alone.
I think you want to be next to me, but don’t want to say anything. ”
I stop suckling for a second and take a deep breath, my heart aching. How is he spot on with everything he is saying?
“Don’t stop eating,” Daddy shakes the bottle, and I crack my eyes to look up at him.
Daddy is gazing at me sadly, and I can’t help but look a little more. Daddy seems so sad, and it tugs on my heartstrings even more. I didn’t think he would be upset to be away from me.
“I’m going to take care of you for the rest of our lives.
I know it is something that you aren’t used to, but it’s normal on Venkoria now.
We want to look after you every single day.
I love holding you in my arms and giving you a bottle.
It fills my heart with so much warmth that I’ve never felt before,” Daddy explains as he meets my gaze.
I quickly close my eyes and take another deep breath before I start suckling once again. Looking into his eyes was making it way too real for me.
“I want to be able to spend the rest of my life with you, giving you all the happy moments, spanking you when you’ve been naughty, and giving you pleasure when you’ve been good.
” Daddy’s voice gets husky, and I turn bright red.
“I want to be there for you when you are sad so I can hold you and let you cry it out. I want to cheer you up when you are angry.”
I’ve never had someone do that for me. Yet someone who has only known me for two weeks wants that with me. They want everything for me.
“I want you to be you. I love it when you look at me after you finish a bottle, so relaxed, and nuzzle into my body. I love it when you wake up and can’t see clearly, but always find me whenever I’m talking to you.” His voice is so soft.
And now he’s being even more sweet to me.
How can I not want that? He is everything that I’ve longed for.
All of the girls on the space station would talk about what we wanted in a partner if we were ever able to have one, and Daddy is exactly what I wanted.
Granted, I never thought I would actually have a man in my life since we were on a space station full of women.
Now that I have it, I’m hesitant to accept it. What if he finds out that I’m not what he wants and sends me back to the space station? I don’t want to get so used to everything only for it to be taken away.
“But I’m going to be patient with you because I know you are mad at me for what happened, and I take full responsibility,” Daddy says. “I want you to be able to trust me when you feel like it’s the right time. If that happens to be a year from now, I will work every single day to gain it back.”
Tears pool in my eyes once again, and this time I’m not successful at keeping them in. They spill down my cheeks as I stop suckling on the bottle, not wanting to choke. Daddy pulls the nipple out of my mouth and lifts me into his chest, holding me close as I cry into his arms.
“You’re okay,” he whispers, rocking us back and forth. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. It’s okay.”
I suck in a deep breath and then let out a sob as he runs his hands through my hair. Daddy has been so nice to me since I came here, apart from the occasional spanking, but he’s never done anything bad to me.
“I’m sorry for letting Yamal inject you,” he continues.
“If I could go back in time and take it away, I would. I wasn’t thinking clearly.
You were having trouble breathing, and nothing was working.
I was worried you would hurt yourself. I thought Yamal could help you.
He said if it was bad enough, you had to have the injection.
I didn’t want to do it, but I also didn’t want you to hurt yourself. ”
More tears stream down my face.
“But if I knew this is what it would be like afterward, I would go back and change my decision. I don’t like you not trusting me.
I don’t like that you are so scared of me and want nothing to do with me.
I want to be the person you think of at all times.
I want to be your safe place, and right now I’m not,” he whispers.
I hold onto his shirt with an iron fist as he pours his heart out. What have I done to deserve this?
“I always want to be the safe place you can come to when you need comfort or when you want to talk about something. I want to be your safe place when you are having a bad day or when you just want cuddles. I want to be that for you, and I messed up.” He runs his hands through my hair.
I sob and nuzzle my face into his chest. Yet, he is still that for me. Being so close to him right now is calming me down, but at the same time, his words are breaking my heart.
He wasn’t lying when I heard him talking to Yamal earlier.
“I’m sorry, Little pet.” He kisses the top of my head. “One day, I am going to regain your trust and be your safe place.”
You don’t need to.
That’s what I want to tell him. I want to tell him that he already is my safe place and that he doesn’t have to do anything else.
But I can’t find it in myself to say those words, even though I desperately want to.
Which makes me even more frustrated, and tears continue to run down my face. Why can’t I say that to him?
“You’re okay.” He runs his hands up and down my back. “I’m here for you, and nothing bad is going to happen.”
I don’t fight the tears wanting to come out and continue to sob into his chest. Daddy just holds me close to his body, allowing me to let all these emotions out like he said he would.
He is my safe place.
I’ve never had security before, and I don’t want to let go of it. I want to be around him all the time so I can be at ease and know everything will be okay.
“Just let it all out,” Daddy encourages me. “I bet you’ve been holding on to this for a long time. That’s okay. Daddy is here to hold you until you are done or even longer. Just let it all out.”
And I do. I cry into his arms, letting him comfort me. I don’t know how much time passed by the time I’m done crying, but I’m exhausted.
“Let’s get you another bottle so you can eat and go to bed,” Daddy says.
He moves me, and I whine when he lets me go. I quickly hold my arms up, not wanting to lose him just yet. Daddy chuckles and picks me up, holding me close as he walks out of his room and into the kitchen.
“It’s only going to take me a couple of minutes,” Daddy whispers. “You just relax, and I’ll feed you whenever it’s done.”
“Don’t wanna leave you,” I mumble, closing my eyes and relaxing into his arms. “Safe place.”
“What was that?” Daddy rubs my back.
I snuggle into his chest and let out a sigh of contentment.
“Don’t wanna leave you,” I mumble again into his shirt. “Never.”
“You never have to,” Daddy whispers back. “I’m here for you. You are stuck with me for the rest of your life.”
A grin splits my face as Daddy starts walking again. He sits down and shifts me, but I don’t open my eyes, completely trusting that Daddy is going to take care of me.
“Look at you,” he soothes. “So precious for Daddy.”
I open my mouth. Daddy chuckles before he pops the nipple inside of my mouth. I could get used to this every single day of my life. I want to, but I’m nervous. There is still so much unknown.
“No thinking,” Daddy gently says. “You can think tomorrow when you are fully awake. Right now, I just want you to drink, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
I open my eyes to find Daddy looking at me with a small smile on his face.
“I’m going to take care of you. You just close your eyes and relax,” Daddy smiles even wider now.
I close my eyes once again and continue to suckle, trusting Daddy because of every word he just said.