Chapter 10
Evie
I wake up with my stomach in knots. I haven’t figured out how I feel about going over to August’s house tonight to help Addie.
I’m excited to see Addie and help her succeed, of course.
I’m just hoping that her dad makes himself scarce while we tutor.
After I give myself ten more seconds of dramatic agony staring at my ceiling, I finally toss back my covers and get some breakfast ready for me and Maple before heading out for work.
Most people hate their commute, but I love mine.
How can you not love this glittering lake and the towering trees?
Pine Lake is a dream and I’m eternally grateful I ended up here.
One of the things I love most is our drive-thru coffee shop, Driftwood, and that it happens to be on my drive to work.
Today sounds like an iced caramel mocha with an extra shot of espresso kind of day.
Thea constantly gives me a hard time about ordering iced coffee regardless of the time of year.
I always get to work much earlier than necessary.
I have to spend enough time in my car hyping myself up to go inside.
That isn’t because I dislike my job–I don’t–I just like to feel extra mentally prepared to give my kids my best. With my heater and seat warmer on, I can’t seem to shake the butterflies wreaking havoc in my stomach everytime I think of August and tonight.
I can’t tell if I’m terrified or excited.
Possibly a little bit of both. Do I want the day to drag on, delaying the inevitable, or do I want it to go by quickly?
I let my head hit the back of the seat after taking a sip of my iced mocha, and steady my breaths.
I feel like I do this a lot, but I have to give myself credit that the amount of times I need to do deep-breathing exercises has diminished greatly since I left Dustin.
Ready and centered for the day, I grab my myriad of bags and drinks and haul everything into my classroom.
I set all of my things down on my desk and hang my black coat on my chair.
I readjust my outfit, which I may or may not have spent extra time picking out this morning.
Attempting to find the perfect balance between professional and attractive for tonight, I decided on a high-waisted grey pencil skirt, black heels, and a white button-down tucked in.
A thin black belt cinches the skirt and ties everything together.
I may teach second grade, but I like to keep everything classy and feel confident about myself, too. I stand at the board prepping the morning lesson for today when all the kids start to excitedly rush in. This is truly the most fulfilling job I could imagine.
The rest of the morning goes smoothly. The kids are in such great moods, which is perfect since it started raining, forcing us to have lunch recess inside.
While all the kids leave to eat lunch, I take time to prepare some fun toys and activities for them to enjoy during their recess, some educational, some just for entertainment.
The kids come flooding back into the room in giggles and I show them some of the options they have to enjoy for the next forty minutes.
Typically during lunch, I’ll eat and continue prepping the day, grade the children’s work, and get things ready for tomorrow morning, but indoor recess is one of the rare moments I get to enjoy some time with the kids without having to worry about teaching or agendas or lesson standards.
I meander around the room talking, asking questions, and encouraging the kids as much as I can.
That is, until I hear a comment from one kid to another that makes my veins freeze.
“Yeah, Ms. Jake is coming to my house for dinner tonight.” Adeline proclaims rather enthusiastically to one of the other girls.
“Why is she going to your house? Doesn’t she have food?” I eavesdrop on their innocent conversation, wondering if I need to intervene. The last thing I need is gossip, and the way things translate in seven and eight-year-old brains is very rarely accurate.
“Well, maybe. I did bring her lunch before, so maybe not.” They literally ran back in as I was cleaning up my lunch, but I let their conversation continue. I like to give the kids their independence, but I will step in if Addie is unclear.
“You made Ms. Jake lunch?” the other girl asks.
“No, obviously not.” Addie responds with a sarcastic roll of her eyes while continuing the puzzle they’re working on. “My daddy made it for her.” I’m fairly certain my blood pressure just shot into the atmosphere and I might possibly be blushing.
“That’s weird.” Nadine, retorts.
“I don’t think so. My dad is a good cook.” I’m confident Addie is not going to get to the actual purpose of tonight so I casually walk over to clear the air.
“Girls, your puzzle is coming along great! Did you pick this one out by yourselves?” I feign interest when really, I’m stressing over something that is probably nothing.
“We did!” They both exclaim proudly together.
“Ms. Jake, I just told Nadine how excited I am that you’re coming over tonight for dinner.” Oh, good, she brought it up.
“Aw, how sweet! I’m so excited too! And you know I’m mostly coming over to help with your Christmas program lines, right?
” I correct Addie but her face drops immediately as Nadine quickly turns her head in Addie’s direction.
I suddenly realize my very grave mistake.
None of the other kids were supposed to know that Addie was getting extra help and I just threw her under the bus to save my own skin.
I could fall into a pit right now and that would be far preferable to the agony I’m experiencing in letting one of my students down.
The trust between a student and a teacher is such a fragile thing, especially in their little hearts. Even if this seems small to me, this is a huge deal for Addie. Suddenly, tonight isn’t looking as enjoyable as I was hoping.
Considering the day couldn’t have gotten much worse, the rest of the school day went by smoothly despite the anxiety twisting my insides into my throat.
I head home to pick up Maple before going to August and Addie’s.
Maple must feel my anxiety because she just lays on the center console with her little head in my lap instead of in her usual passenger seat with the warmer on.
I’ve never been to August’s house so I didn’t know what to expect.
His driveway is gravel and longer than my entire lot of property.
His house is absolutely breathtaking. A classic farmhouse with a wrap-around porch, boasting of modern upkeep with direct access to his own private portion of the lake.
Oh, to see how the other half live. I kill the ignition and give myself a few minutes to prepare to go inside.
Addie has already seen her dad so I have a sinking feeling that I’m not going to walk into the warmest welcome.
Yeah... Not a warm greeting, at all. August opens the door to Maple and I with a more-than-furious face. I tell myself that it’s well-deserved.
“Let’s take Maple to the other dogs to get acquainted and they can run around outside.” He clips at me and then turns back behind the door. “Hey Ads, we’re taking Ms. Jake’s dog to meet Leo, Mars, Athena, and Luna, we’ll be right back.”
“Okay, daddy!” Addie shouts back and August slams the door behind him.
He leads us to the dog’s designated play area.
The area is across their acreage and hugely fenced.
At least I know Maple won't be able to escape.
The dogs all meet and Maple is more than excited to have some fuzzy friends to play with.
This setup is incredible. August has multiple cameras around the open-air enclosure, water flow, and fresh treats he can dispense with an app on his phone. Maple might not ever want to come home.
I can’t roll my shoulders enough to alleviate the tension between August and I on the walk back to his house.
I wish he would just scream and get it over with.
Dustin at least gave me that much mercy, yelling at me immediately and putting me out of my limbo of misery.
We get up the steps of his house and I mentally celebrate, assuming he wouldn’t yell at me in front of his daughter.
Too soon. Before he goes for the doorknob, he spins on me so fast, making me flinch hard enough to almost lose my center of gravity.
“Care to explain why my daughter was crying about something that happened in class today?” My emotions split in two.
On the one hand, I’m doing him a favor by even being here, so how dare he speak to me like this?
But on the other hand, I deserve it, don’t I?
I went back on what we agreed; to not let her classmates know about the extra assistance.
I humiliated Addie and I’ll never forgive myself for that.
My submissive mode kicks in. The safe place I default to where I know to be gentle, take the blame, and hope that it ends easily enough that I’m not hurt physically or emotionally.
“I accidentally slipped up and mentioned Addie’s tutoring in front of another student.
It was a complete mistake that I’m more than happy to apologize to Addie for.
” I hope that is enough to placate his frustration.
August is fuming, and it doesn’t seem like I can bring him down.
I understand, though. He’s protective and I mistakenly hurt the most precious thing to him.
August takes two huge steps toward me, backing me up to the banister of the porch, bracketing his arms on either side of me.
But it strangely doesn’t feel like frustration the closer he gets to me.
It feels like desperation. But desperation for what, I’m not sure.