Chapter 30
Remi
What altar built of bone and sin,
Could cage the storm you carry in?
Each kiss, a shroud; each breath, a blade;
And still I kneel, unmade, remade.
“I have math. I hate it.”
Mal’s voice snapped me out of my haze. As my eyes focused, bringing the phone back into view, I wanted to go right back into it.
“Hey, Little Valkyrie.”
She plopped onto the couch beside me and peered at the screen. “Uh oh.”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
There was no denying I’d pushed Clara’s buttons. She might have dug deeper regardless, but it was in the tone of her writing. The words she used were punchy where they’d previously feigned curiosity.
“As if Mr. Keane’s past wasn’t concerning enough already, we’ve discovered that he may have a spottier history than we once thought.
Not only did he appear in New Haven quite suddenly, but he seems to have been fleeing.
What was he running from? A restraining order taken out two years ago might give us the information we all so desperately need. ”
In my opinion, they didn’t need any information. Desperately, no less.
It wouldn’t have pissed me off that much, except that she was framing me as someone of severely questionable character by very deliberately leaving out the details.
The best way to get clicks was to make the audience wait for the big reveal, and these people would no doubt fall for it like the screen zombies they were.
Amir was in the backyard, dealing with a phone call from his agent, Vera, and some other people who were somehow relevant. That was enough to tell me this wasn’t an ideal start to the season.
“Are you alright, Remi?” Avery asked as she came into the living room.
I put on the best smile I could. “Just the same tired narrative.”
“I saw. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Shaking my head, I got to my feet. When I pulled her in for a hug, she made a surprised sound, then returned it a little awkwardly. After I pulled back, she smoothed down her dress.
“You don’t need to worry about me,” I assured her. “If it makes you feel better, I’m the one who needed the restraining order, not the other way around.”
Her smile was warm as she touched my arm. “I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt.”
“You shouldn’t do that. The best thing you can ever do is trust your instincts.”
Though she looked surprised, it quickly shifted to amusement. “You’re an odd one. My instincts say you’re not a bad guy, though.”
“I appreciate that. Truly.”
“I’m going to check in with Amir before I leave. Are you two alright?”
“Good,” Mal replied.
“You should give your mom a hug before she goes,” I said.
“Already did.”
I shot her a look, which earned me an eye roll. After only a second, she stood and wrapped her arms around Avery, whose demeanor lightened noticeably.
Once Avery slipped through the back door, I dropped back onto the couch with a groan.
“Is this when you say not to grow up because being an adult is hard?” Mal asked.
I let out a laugh and tipped my head back to look at the ceiling. “No. Just make better decisions than me and life will be easier.”
“Did my dad make bad decisions, then?”
“Doubtful. I said easier, not easy. Besides, he’s a bit of a square, so there’s that.”
Her nose wrinkled. “Squares are math.”
“Speaking of that unholy abomination, I have a better alternative. Baseball.” When she looked confused, I nodded toward the backyard. “Can you hit a ball? Kids like that stuff, right?”
“Can’t.”
“Oh. So much for your dad raising you in his image.”
She let out an annoyed sound. “I can bat. But math first.”
“Why, pray tell, does math have to come first?”
“Come.”
Not having a good excuse to refuse, I got to my feet and followed her into the dining room. She set her notebook on the table, then opened the doors of a hutch against the wall. When she pulled out a large chalkboard, almost the size of her, I hummed.
“Are we making offerings to the math gods? I’m not familiar with them, but I’m a charming guy, so I bet we’ll get along.”
She leaned the board against the table. “Schedule.”
“Ah, I see.” The whole thing was a calendar, and there was writing in each of the squares.
During the week, there were assignments and sometimes appointments and the like.
Amir’s games were all lined up for the month, color-coded for away and home.
There were stars marking some days and moons on the others. I pointed at them. “What are these?”
“Dad’s days.” She touched the star. “Mom.” The moon.
“How very organized of you. Does it help?”
She nodded. “I have the same one at Mom’s house.”
“And where does Mom live?”
She walked out of the room, and I followed her to the entryway. She opened the front door and stepped onto the porch, then pointed down the street. “Blue house.”
It was at the other end of the block on the opposite side of the street. Like this one, it was one story, but it was slightly bigger from the looks of it.
“That’s hella convenient. Do you ever get mad at one of them and run away to the other house?”
She snorted. “That’d be funny.”
“Yeah, but don’t start doing it now. They’ll know I gave you the idea.”
“Were you a bad kid?”
I sat down on the porch swing, then patted the spot next to me. She joined me, and I kicked off the floor before bringing my legs up to sit crisscross.
“I wouldn’t say I was bad. Troubled, but not bad.”
“Why?”
I blew out a breath. “Sometimes, the hard things start when we’re too young to handle them, but we still have to try.”
“Because your parents died?”
“That’s part of it, yeah. Your parents do a lot to keep you safe from a ton of things you don’t really recognize at your age.
That’s their job. Me, I lost that, and I ended up in a place where I thought I could trust the people around me.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t a good idea. But I learned and I grew, and now I’m here. ”
Across the street, I watched a mom load her toddler into an SUV. She looked frazzled, and once the door was closed, she took a second to rub her eyes before she moved to the driver’s side.
“It’s important to keep learning from your parents,” I went on. “You can trust that they have your best interests at heart, even if you don’t always agree with them. The longer you have them around to teach you things, the better off you’ll be.”
“I want them here forever.”
“And they will be.”
The front door opened, letting Amir and Avery onto the porch. She offered us a wave before she took the steps down to the path toward her car. Amir turned to us with a smile on his face, though it might’ve been tighter than usual.
“I see the math is coming along,” he said.
“We’ll get to it.”
“Yeah,” Mal agreed. “We’ll get to it.”
He sat on the other side of her. “We’ve got two days until we officially kick off the season. What should we do?”
“I’ve got to be at the bar by three, so we’ve got time for anything, really.”
“Baseball,” Mal decided.
“Let’s get math out of the way, then you can show me your skills.”
She didn’t look happy about it, but she grunted her agreement. We continued to swing, and I looked at Amir.
“We good?” I mouthed.
“Just drama.” He draped his arm across the back of the swing to stroke my shoulder. “You can take the car to work.”
“I don’t want to drive that thing.”
“Not the Maserati. There’s an SUV in the garage.”
“It’s not gold-plated, is it?”
He pushed on my shoulder with a laugh. When Mal leaned her head against my arm while she continued to write, Amir’s thumb brushed the back of my neck, and a contented look came over his face.
Clearly, my recent dreams didn’t know what the hell they were talking about. There was no unease within my spirit, nor did I feel disconnected from the things around me.
Maybe the gods hadn’t turned their backs on me after all.
*****
Three games. Three wins. They hadn’t done all that well during spring training, but things were ramping up. It seemed like the Red Sox were fiending for that trophy this year. The energy could be felt every time I was around the team, and it rolled off of Amir too.
The shitty part? He’d left this morning for a stretch of games in Texas. Four whole days he’d be gone, and with how close we’d been for two months now, it felt like hell already. I’d been abused many times in my past, but this right here felt like abuse too.
It didn’t help that I was tired. How could I stick with an honest to gods night schedule when Amir and Mal were up by eight in the morning?
He got on my ass about how I needed to stay in bed, but if people were up and moving around in the house, I couldn’t sleep.
Besides that, I didn’t want to. I was addicted to that goddamn man and his spawn, as hellish as she was sometimes.
The more comfortable she got with me, the more she found ways to target my buttons and push them. I couldn’t be prouder.
I’d barely gotten back to the counter after unlocking the door when the little bell went off above it. A man walked in wearing a black hoodie and a ball cap pulled low. Immediately, I reached under the counter to touch the gun secured beneath it.
“Hey, welcome in,” I said cheerfully. “What are you having?” I glanced at the clock. “It’s a little early to start solo drinking.”
“I was told to be here at four,” he replied.
As he got closer, I pulled the gun a little ways out of the holster. “Oh, are you meeting someone?”
“Yeah. I bet you’re Remi, huh?”
“Who’s asking?” I grimaced at how cliché that sounded. “Yeah, I’m Remi. Might I ask who you are?”
He thrust his hand toward me, and I pulled the gun free as I took a step backward. His head tilted down to look at it.
“Whoa,” he said. Slowly, he lifted the cap, giving me a better view of his face. He was about middle-aged, with a neatly trimmed mustache and goatee. From what I could see, his hair was cut short, and there was a tattoo just below his ear—the Eagle, Globe, and Anchor emblem.
“A Marine,” I mused. “Is that why you’re giving off hostile vibes, or is it something else?”
“Hostile? I’m just here for the job.”
“Yeah, the job. That’s cute, man. Now leave.” When he didn’t budge, I tightened my grip on the gun.
“Alright,” he said, backing away. “Sorry to bother you.”
As soon as he was out the door, I released a breath. My hand shook slightly, but I held onto the weapon in case he came back. I had enough practice that I was confident my aim would be true through the tremors.
My phone rang, and I jumped. Bringing it to my ear, I kept my eyes on the door. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me,” Amir said.
“Weird timing. What’s up?”
“You pulled a gun on Tommy, that’s what’s up.”
My brows lifted. “Tommy? The Marine who was acting all dodgy and wanted to strike me down in my own bar?”
“No, dumbass. He’s there to keep an eye on the place.”
“An eye . . . Amir, are you telling me that you hired a fucking bodyguard?”
“Not a bodyguard. Security.”
“I don’t need security. God damnit, why didn’t you say something before?”
“Because he hadn’t gotten back to me until today. Plus, I knew you’d fight me on it. Better to ask forgiveness, right?”
“Not right. I don’t need security.”
“It can’t hurt. It’ll make people feel safer when they drink there anyway. It’s a win-win situation.”
“And how much does Tommy charge for his special services? I won’t be giving him a blowjob. Enough cringey porn tropes have happened in this place already.”
“No favors,” he replied firmly. “It doesn’t matter what it costs. If nothing happens, good. If it does, he’ll take care of it. He’s licensed for this and isn’t afraid to put hands on someone.”
“Yeah, I’m sure, but the answer is still no.”
“He’s also been out of the service for a year and hasn’t been able to find a good job. He has two young boys and a support dog that helps him out. A husky named Loki.”
I narrowed my eyes at the door. “Loki, you say?” With a muttered curse, I re-holstered the gun beneath the counter. “You’re a bit of a douche, you know that?”
“I’m fine with being a douche, as long as it keeps you safe.”
“I don’t need you to protect me. I’m only agreeing to this because I respect our heroes.”
“You’re a saint, Remi.”
“Mmhmm. I’ll go wrangle your Marine.”
“Alright. I, uh . . . miss you.”
A smile curved my lips. “I miss you too, baby.”
Setting the phone down with a sigh, I headed toward the door. When I opened it, Tommy was standing off to the side smoking. There was a husky beside him, which he’d tied to the bike rack.
“Give me one of those.” I held out my hand, and he passed me a cigarette. I leaned forward to let him light it, then took a long drag. “It appears my powers of deduction were lacking in there.”
“No need to apologize. I think the worst in most situations. Habit.”
“Mm. I’m not apologizing, but I concur. Why’d you leave Loki out here? Don’t you know he’s prone to getting into trouble?”
He looked at the dog, then back at me. “I didn’t know if you’d be alright with him hanging around. I was going to stay out here at the door anyway.”
“Nah, he’s welcome inside. You can’t really do your job from out here. The last thing I need is a bouncer at the door, so come in and pretend you’re an alcoholic or something. You got a gun?”
He tapped his hip, which was covered by his hoodie.
I smiled. “Good, then it looks like we’re square. I know he’s a service pup, but I’m going to pet him.”
“Have at it.”
Crouching, I scratched Loki’s ears and got a face-full of hot dog breath. “You’re a magnificent little trickster, aren’t you? Yes, you are.”