Chapter 53 #2
With a soft laugh, he raked his fingers through his hair. “Thanks. This one couldn’t stand it if he was the only one with an engagement ring.”
Kai pulled him close and pressed his lips to Sen’s temple. I didn’t want to look away for something so simple, but it made my chest ache.
Roman joined us and immediately got heckled by West. After flipping him off, he came up to me. “Welcome to the party. Enjoying yourself yet?”
“I prefer a quiet weekend,” I said, “but we can’t win them all.”
“We were about to brainstorm how Amir’s going to win Remi back,” Trav explained.
Roman’s lips pulled to the side for a second. “Ah.”
“What’s your deal?” I asked.
“It’s, well . . . He talked to me before.”
“Before?” When I realized what he meant, I nodded. “I see.”
“I happened to catch him outside the bar. I’m sorry, man. It felt wrong to tell you, but it also feels wrong that I didn’t.”
“Did you tell him to leave me?”
“No, of course not. I told him not to dip without talking to you first, actually.”
“Then we’re cool.” I smiled at him when he still looked uncertain.
“I think you should buy him the nicest gold-plated butt plug,” West announced with eyes too bright for comfort. “Make the end a baseball. He’ll profess his love immediately.”
Sen leaned close and dropped his voice. “Don’t listen to him. He’s insane.”
“Remi loves me, actually, so fuck you, Sen.”
Kai narrowed his eyes at West, who gave him a taunting look in return. When they circled each other, I was sort of intrigued. A wrestling match ensued, which reminded me of high school. That thought just made me feel fucking old.
“Between the lot of us, I’m sure we can figure something out,” Linc assured me.
Throughout their discussion about it, which involved a lot of outrageous ideas, Roman stayed silent.
Something about his demeanor grabbed my attention, and when he met my eyes, I knew that he was privy to the same thing I was.
No gifts, no matter how extravagant, would convince Remi to be with me.
Even the best speech in the world wouldn’t do it.
Oli wore a similar expression. There was a sadness to him that didn’t feel right.
It had weighed on my own soul, too. It was more than desperation that I’d felt since Remi left.
It was hopelessness. There weren’t a multitude of futures before me, all with varying levels of success.
There were only two: the one where I won Remi back and the one where we continued like this, eternally separate.
Battle wasn’t just about the fight. Like Trav said, I had to find the enemy. The real test came once I did that.
“Actually,” I said, interrupting Tilian’s idea to tie him up and take him into the mountains until he acquiesced. “I already know what to do. That’s why I’m here.”
They all looked at me expectantly. I hadn’t been prepared for an audience, but there was nothing I could do about it now.
“Trav, I need to borrow a bit of that fame you’ve got under your belt.”
“Oh? What have you got in mind?”
“There’s some news I need to break to the public, and yours is the only platform I care to do it on.”
While I explained my idea, the ball faltered in his grip. His mouth opened, but then he closed it again. His jaw ticked quite a few times, and he refused to meet my gaze. When he marched away, I called after him with no response.
We all stared at where he’d disappeared into the house.
“Is it that bad of an idea?” I asked.
“He’s angry at the why of it all,” Roman said. He squeezed my arm and offered me a reassuring smile. There was a certain acceptance there that made me relax.
Kai rubbed his jaw. “It’s bold.” After a second, a maniacal grin settled on his lips. “I love it.”
Oli stared at the ground with a pinched brow.
Dean said something, which seemed to snap him out of his stupor.
He looked up at me, and it was impossible to figure out what was on his face.
The usual bubbliness was gone, replaced by a similar coldness to Remi’s.
All I could confidently say was that it was a mask. But for what?
Dean grabbed his arm when he tried to walk away. Leaning close, he whispered something in his ear.
“I need to breathe,” Oli murmured.
“Come on, baby. You’re freaking him out.”
Oli turned back to me. I wasn’t sure what to do when he marched right up to me, still wearing that expression.
“Hey,” I began, but he startled me by throwing his arms around me. I almost got knocked over, but thankfully, Roman was there to keep me up.
“I’m sorry,” Oli said softly. “It’s just overwhelming to see someone finally love him the way you do.” He pulled back, then patted my cheek harder than was necessary. “You deserve him. Don’t take that lightly. Not once have I approved of someone Remi dated.”
“Well, that’s good to hear.”
The back door slid open, then Trav came out of it holding a bat and a pile of gloves. He tossed them around to the guys, who all seemed excited except for Tilian, who claimed to be ‘too fried for this torture.’
“What is this?” I asked.
Trav slung his arm around my shoulders. “This is baseball, Amir.”
“Yeah, I’m sort of familiar.”
“Good. You’re at bat.” He swung the bat toward me, hitting me right in the balls, and I bent forward with a grunt.
“You asshole.”
“Why are we playing?” Brooks asked.
West hopped from one foot to the other while he pounded his fist against his glove. “Who cares? I’m going to annihilate you all. Especially you, Linc.”
Trav smiled at me, ignoring the others. “You down for a game before we get that camera going?”
I grabbed the bat right above where he was holding it. “I’m always down for a game.”
We divvied up into two small teams and tossed some mats in the grass to act as bases. I tapped the bat on the one beneath me and got into position. In his sweats, Trav looked casual, but I wouldn’t let down my guard. He was always a threat, on and off the field.
When the ball connected, someone whistled.
For a second, I watched it soar through the air, not really caring if they caught it.
Within that short frame, I saw dozens of memories.
The first time I hit a ball when I was seven.
The fit I had when I couldn’t throw it straight, and the joy when endless hours of practice paid off.
Meeting Avery in middle school and telling her the dreams that I thought would sound stupid.
Seeing Mal on the ultrasound and feeling her kick for the first time.
My wedding. The time I spent in the minor leagues, then the season I moved up to MLB.
The years of trying to be the person I thought I was supposed to be, and the day I finally admitted the truth to myself.
My divorce. The shame I felt, not because I was gay, but because I thought I’d failed my family.
When I found Trav and felt hope for my future again.
And the day I met Remi Keane, the guy who sang like nobody was watching and used a pool cue as well as I swung a bat.
It was the same day the field stopped feeling like the only place I could breathe.
I’d been reminded that there was still a long future ahead of me, and it didn’t have to be hidden away in the dark.
But even hope came with its own uncertainty.
Who would I be when the stadium went quiet?