Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Ellie
I had placed an order for some groceries since I didn’t feel like going out. When the light in the kitchen flashed and signaled someone had rung the doorbell, I assumed it was my grocery order. But I was wrong when I opened the door and saw Carlyle standing there.
“Hello, Ellie.” He smiled as he signed.
“Carlyle. I forgot you were in California. I’m guessing Henry sent you here?”
“You are correct. May I come in?”
“Yes, of course. Where’s Lillian?”
“She was going to come, but she has a bad migraine. We were at the country club playing golf when it came on. Henry didn’t give me any details about what happened between the two of you, so how about you fill me in? It must be pretty serious for you to hop on a plane across the country to get away from him.”
“I really don’t want to talk about it. Can I get you something to drink? I just made some fresh lemonade.”
“That sounds good.” He smiled. “But I didn’t drive all the way out here for you not to tell me what happened,” he signed.
I poured him a glass of lemonade and handed it to him. The light in the kitchen flashed again.
“That’s my grocery order. I’ll be right back.”
“You stay here,” he signed. “I’ll bring them in.”
He set the few bags on the counter and went out onto the patio. As soon as I finished putting the groceries away, I poured myself some lemonade and joined him outside.
“Henry wants me to get a cochlear implant,” I said as I sat down in the lounge chair next to him.
“Interesting. And I suppose you don’t want one?”
“I explained to him that I had one when I was seven, and it malfunctioned, so they had to remove it. I never wanted one again after that.”
“Why? Because you’re more comfortable living in a world of silence?” he signed. “I’ll admit, it’s less scary that way. You can’t hear thunderstorms, people yelling and screaming, ambulances, cop cars, firetrucks, or all the noises of the city. I guess it would be pretty peaceful to live like that. Being deaf is your safety net from all the chaos in the world.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” I said.
“Then what’s your reason for not wanting the implant besides the bad experience you had twenty some years ago? Does being deaf define the person you are? Because if it does, then okay.”
“No. Of course not.”
“So then what’s the big deal if medical technology can help you hear?”
“Like I told Henry, I would be in between worlds. The deaf world and the hearing world.”
“Sweetheart, you’ll always be deaf, even with the implant. That won’t change that fact, but it will give you access to sounds that you, right now, can’t hear at all. You’ll have the best of both worlds because you can take the damn thing off whenever you want. If you don’t want to hear something, bam. If you do, put it back on. Do you know what I would give to be able to turn off my hearing sometimes? Especially when I have to sit and listen to Lillian. That’s like a superpower.”
I let out a laugh.
“But seriously, I think what rattled you the most was the fact that the man you love brought it up. You feel like he wants to change you. Am I right?”
“Something like that.”
“I get it. I can see how you’d feel that way. I have this friend. His name is Raphael, and we grew up together. For years, he was way overweight, and he always had been since we were kids. He married the woman of his dreams, and they were happy. We met for lunch one day, and he told me that his wife, Candace, had talked to him about how he might want to lose some weight and was seriously thinking about it. I asked him why, and he said that as much as he loved his life, he knew that by losing some pounds, it could be a little bit better. He could do more things, and he’d be healthier. I’m saying his wife saw his struggles with certain things and threw the idea out there. She wasn’t trying to change him. She loved him exactly how he was. Henry fell in love with the woman you are. He didn’t fall in love with you because you’re deaf. Deaf or not, he still would have fallen in love. If he’d met you, and you had hearing and then went deaf, that would change nothing for him. Just some food for thought.” He gave me a wink as he held out his hand to me.
“Thank you, Carlyle.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart. He’s on his way here, just so you know. I sent him a text message while you were putting the groceries away, and I will not apologize for that.”
“I figured as much.” I smiled.
“I need to get back to Lillian and make sure she’s okay,” he signed as he got up from the lounge chair.
“Tell her I hope she feels better.”
“I will.” He kissed my cheek.
He stopped and looked at me as I walked him to the front door.
“There’s a new world out there waiting for you, kid. Not a lot of people get that opportunity. Think about that.”
After I shut the door, I went into the kitchen, grabbed my phone, and texted my mom.
“I’m sorry I left. I’m in Malibu at the beach house, and I’m fine.”
“I know. Henry called me when he found out. He knew I’d be worried.”
“I have to go, Mom. I have a lot of thinking to do before he gets here.”
I went upstairs and laid down on the bed, for I was tired from the flight. Not to mention being in the airport all night. Closing my eyes, I fell asleep.