Chapter 14
Fourteen
ADDIE
“Iknew she was going to choose looks over personality,” I said as I dunked a pizza crust into my garlic mayo before shoving it in my mouth.
Eli and I were sprawled out on the floor, two pizzas between us with an abundance of dips because I’d panicked and bought two of all the ones available in the shop.
Eli had become so engaged in this new-to-him dating show, Sight Unseen, that he had stopped eating and was instead nursing his mug of gin and tonic between his hands.
“But Karl is also an attractive man. She could have had both looks and personality,” Eli said slowly.
I swallowed my mouthful. “This is what I mean about losing hope. Of course, she could have picked Karl, but he’s not attractive in the way that she is used to, and so he’s just not an option when Brad is right there. I mean, could you get any more frat boy than someone called Brad?”
He reached for a slice of pizza. “How many episodes are left? Can she still see the light that is Karl?”
“We’re halfway. In theory, there is still hope that she’ll see who the right choice is, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.” I finished my crust and picked up another.
He paused, pizza slice hanging in the air, his mouth slightly open. His lower lip was wet and plump, the tip of his tongue resting on it. He closed his mouth, and I looked down at my garlic mayo like it held the secrets to the meaning of life.
“Maybe I might do that, though, seeing as I can hold my breath for nearly five minutes,” he said.
My gaze snapped back to him. “What? Why?”
“I used to free dive. I might not be able to anymore, but I could definitely hold it for that long once upon a time.” He dropped the slice into his open mouth and bit down.
“Why?” I asked again.
A line formed between Eli’s eyebrows. “Why did I free dive?”
“Yeah, I don’t understand why anyone wants to fuck with the ocean like that. I mean, I love it, but I will only paddle. I respect it enough to leave it the fuck alone. Its depths are terrifying. I want no part of them.”
Eli paused mid-chew. A sadness clouded his eyes. I almost asked another question because it felt like the answer to this one was costing him, and after the name debacle, I didn’t want to force him to tell me things like that ever again.
Before I could, he swallowed his mouthful and answered, “Mostly, I did it because it was an activity that seemed like it would impress my dad. It requires a certain level of discipline that I thought he would appreciate. I mean, I liked it. There is a peace that comes from being underwater like that, and it’s an exercise in teaching yourself to stay calm even when your circumstances feel dire.
But I tried again after my mum passed, and I became very aware of all the water that was pressing down on my body and how insignificant we all are, and I panicked.
Thankfully, I wasn’t that far below the surface, but yeah. I’ve not gone near water since.”
“You’ve not been in any water? Not even a pool?”
He shook his head. “I took up yoga instead. Oh, I’ll send you the link to that place I’ve been going to if you ever want to try it out.”
I chewed my crust slowly, sensing that he was done talking about this, and that was fine with me.
“Yeah, that would be good, thanks. I know you joked yesterday that you hadn’t secretly befriended Clara, but she’s a swimmer. So if you ever wanted to get back in the water, she’d probably be more than happy to be there for you.”
He smiled around his pizza slice. “So you didn’t kill her then?”
I laughed. “I never said I was going to kill her. Just give her a piece of my mind, which I did. So yes, she is available.”
“I’ll think about it,” he said as he pushed himself up to stand, pizza slice consumed and mug in hand. He nodded at my mug on the floor. “You need a refill?”
“Yeah, that would be nice, thanks.”
I handed him the mug, and he disappeared into the kitchen.