Chapter 50
Fifty
ADDIE
Unsurprisingly, my professional world did not end on my first day.
And nearly a month in, it still had not ended because I was—surprise, surprise—still good at my job.
If anything, I was better than ever. I had a newfound confidence in my teaching. Students were finding my lectures engaging, and there had been some truly wonderful conversations about the work in my tutorials.
I’d spent a lot of the last two years hating my job and feeling like I was fighting to stay above water, but now, I was getting to bask in the feeling of enjoying what I did. There was a reason I chose to teach university students, and this new start was reminding me of that.
Despite that, I felt like everything was going to shit because I was scrambling to fall out of love with my flatmate and grappling with the fact that Eli was following the rules just fine.
He was not in love with me, and he was dating someone.
Steffy.
He hadn’t formally told me he was doing so, but she had become a bigger part of his life over the last few weeks, ever since I saw them together at the end of September.
She always seemed to be at the table tucked away by the bar whenever I was at Vivi’s, and he always made an effort to talk to her.
To sit at her table whenever he got a free moment.
There was always laughter. She often touched him affectionately.
Or batted her eyelashes at him when he was talking.
She was always playing with her hair. Everything about her oozed flirting, and he lapped it up and looked like he was giving as good as he got.
Every time I saw them, I was struck by how good they looked together.
Physically, they fit well. But they worked better emotionally, too.
She didn’t used to hate him with the fire of a thousand suns.
She wasn’t a constant reminder of who he used to be before he started owning his own life.
She wasn’t obnoxiously nosy. She was an all-around nicer person than I could ever hope to be, and Eli deserved nice.
I was already becoming used to the idea of the two of them being together, and the more used to it I became, the easier it would be for me to fall out of love with Eli. Soon, it would be almost like it never happened.
It was by pure coincidence that, since the increased sightings of the two of them together, I also managed to get my thesis to 40,000 words.
I was tweaking a paragraph about the similarities between Hero and Juliet when there was a knock on my door.
I was expecting it to be Becky. Our schedules didn’t allow for much time to catch up, but we did have the same hour free on Thursday, and so we had lunch together.
“Come in,” I called out without looking at my office door.
The door opened slowly, and the uncharacteristic actions of Becky—who usually walked in like it was her own office—made me stop writing and shift my gaze to the door.
It wasn’t Becky.
It was Josh.
Even though we had neighbouring offices, this was the first time I’d seen him since the first time we met.
“Oh, hi, Josh. How are you doing?” I asked slowly as he leaned against the door frame. He was wearing another tweed jacket over a white shirt and brown trousers. His hair was slicked back, and a smile was fixed on his face.
“I am good, thanks for asking. Finally feel like I am back in the swing of things. What about you? You settled in okay?”
“It’s been a surprisingly seamless transition. My lectures have been good, and the students are all great for the most part. I’m even quite liking balancing everything with my PhD again.”
Josh’s smile widened. “Glad to hear it’s all going well for you.”
I noticed movement behind Josh.
It was Becky, who took one look at Josh standing in my door and waggled her eyebrows at me before stepping back.
I knew she hadn’t gone away completely, which meant that this conversation now had an audience.
“That it has.”
The smile dropped slightly, and he ran a hand over his face. “I can see you’re busy, so I will just cut straight to the chase; I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me?”
I knew it was coming, but I was somehow so unprepared.
My knee-jerk reaction was to say no.
But I knew Becky was right there, and I could hear her saying that going on a first date didn’t have to mean anything.
Then I remembered Lucy telling me that with me back in the fold, Becky was going to be like a bloodhound and try to pair me up with…anyone.
If I said yes, I would get her off my back. I could confidently say that I had tried, and dating still wasn’t for me. She could go back to trying to set her twin up.
Added bonus, it would make it seem like I was perfectly fine with Eli dating Steffy because I was ‘dating’ too.
The motives weren’t great, but what was the worst that could happen?
“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.”
Becky mysteriously never entered my office after Josh left for lunch, and then, at around four, she texted me to say she would make it up to me with dinner at Vivi’s.
When I got there, Becky was already sitting at our table, two glasses of wine ready and waiting. As I sat down, I saw Steffy sat at what I was coming to think of as her usual table. Eli was there too, leaning against the back of her chair, looking down at something.
He looked up and smiled at me. He said something to Steffy, who nodded before he started walking over to our table.
I looked away from him and at Becky.
“I need a full debrief on Josh,” I said.
Becky smiled widely. She was so happy that I was trying, and that was why I said yes. It was to make her happy.
“When are you going out with him?” she asked just as Eli reached our table. I flicked my eyes to him.
“Friday.”
I imagined the way Eli’s jaw clenched and the flash of hurt in his eyes. I must have done, because it was there one second and gone the next.