Chapter 1
Approximately One Year Later
“I’m getting tired, sis,” I told Nyomi as we briskly walked through her subdivision.
It was Saturday morning, and I’d met her at her house to catch up while we went for a walk. She’d just finished updating me on her life, so it was my turn to unload. She pushed the stroller with her six-month-old twin boys, Kilan and Nymeer, while I walked next to her.
“Tired of what? We’ve only been walking for a few minutes,” she responded.
I was tickled by her confusion, but my statement was random, so I understood. I didn’t know what I wanted to tell her about how I’d been feeling lately. Hell, I was still trying to understand it.
“I’m tired of the dating scene.”
She turned her head to glance at me with raised brows. Nyomi and I had been friends since we became roommates our freshman year of college, although we’d known each other since high school, when we were rivals on the track.
When we became college roommates at Black Elm University, we put the rivalry aside and immediately clicked. As a teen mother, I didn’t have many friends, but she’d proven to be someone I could trust and count on, and I was the same for her.
“Not you, the self-proclaimed lifetime bachelorette.”
“Shut up. You know good and well I’ve never claimed that shit.”
“Maybe not with your mouth, but over the years, your actions have proven that’s what you want.”
I sighed because she was right. Relationships weren’t my thing, but there were good reasons I preferred to be single.
For the past couple of months, my feelings about relationships and being single had changed.
Honestly, it had been more than a couple of months, and I could pinpoint exactly when the change began . . . When Knox came into my life.
“True, but it’s hard out here.”
“I know it is. That’s why I stopped running from Kilo. Maybe you should stop running from Knox.”
A little over a year ago, Nyomi and Kilo hooked up after a singles mixer. She thought it would be a one-night stand, but the universe and God had other plans.
The two were now married with infant twins, who were the result of the supposed one-night stand. I loved that for my friend, but I wasn’t sure that was what I wanted.
After becoming a mother at sixteen, I became less interested in having more children as I got older. It was mostly because I wanted to be married to the father of any more children I had, and finding a suitable partner had proved impossible.
After years on the dating scene and looking for something serious but repeatedly being disappointed, I gave up and decided I’d be better off with entanglements. It had been working for me for years, but lately, I’d been wanting something more, and I knew exactly who I wanted more with.
“Kilo is a different kind of man. He fell first, he fell hard, and he didn’t mind chasing you until he wore you down. Ninety-nine percent of men ain’t doing all that, and I’m not running from Knox,” I finally responded.
“I know it feels that way, sis, but when you find the one you’re meant to be with, everything flows with ease. I definitely think you’re running from Knox.”
“Whatever. I’m with these niggas for a good time, not for a long time, not that I want to spend the rest of my life with any of them.”
We laughed because Nyomi knew how I was with my entanglements. I called them when I wanted to see them, but they didn’t call me, because I made it clear from the beginning how things would work between us. At the moment, there were three men on my roster, each fulfilling a specific need.
Jonathan was the one I called when I needed a good laugh. His sense of humor was what attracted me to him, and he never failed to lighten my mood when I needed it.
Kenneth was the one I called when I wanted to be spoiled. Money meant nothing to him, and he was always eager to spend it on me.
Zion was the one I called when I wanted to have good old-fashioned fun or try something new. He had just turned thirty and loved outdoor activities. It was with him that I first went hiking and rock climbing.
“I love you with my whole heart, sis, but I’m pretty sure it’s you and not them. You lay down the ground rules on the first date, so I doubt those men see you as a potential partner.”
I thought briefly about what she said before saying, “That might be true, but what man do you know who listens to what a woman says?”
“Kilo does, my daddy listens to my mama, and Papa G listens to your mama.”
I smacked my lips. “Kilo, Papa Kurrie, and my daddy aren’t the norm. If the men I’m dealing with wanted something more, they would’ve let it be known by now.”
“Possibly,” she conceded.
“So, back to what I said, I’m tired.”
“What about Knox?”
I leaned away from her as we walked, frowning at the mention of his name. I didn’t have any beef with Knox, but after our date almost a year ago, I told her there was no chance of anything serious happening between us.
“Why do you keep circling back to Knox?”
Nyomi was my best friend, but I hadn’t shared my feelings about Knox with her, and I wouldn’t until I was ready to fully embrace them.
“He let it be known that he wanted you, and even though you refuse to give him a chance, he still wants you.”
“I’m not sure why you think that. He doesn’t act like he’s pining over me.”
“You shut him down, so he’s not going to follow you around like a sick puppy.”
“His brother damn near stalked you.”
“Ha! That’s true, but Kilo and Knox are different. He may not stalk you, but he’s always watching you, and I can see the longing in his eyes. Plus, when I asked Kilo if Knox ever mentions you, he told me to mind my business. If the answer was no, Kilo would’ve said that.”
I pondered her words for a moment, wondering if Knox was still interested in me. After I told him I had no desire to be exclusive, get married, or have any more children, we agreed to just be friends.
Knox didn’t hide his disappointment when I told him we wanted different things, but he respected my honesty. Although the attraction between us was strong, we thought it was best not to act on it . . .Well, I thought it was best. I wasn’t sure what he thought.
“Knox probably thinks I’m for the streets, and just because I’m tired of the dating scene doesn’t mean I want to get married and have a family. He was clear about what he wanted, and I’m clear about what I want.”
“Are you though?”
“Am I what?”
“Clear about what you want. My best friend intuition is telling me something has changed.”
“Do you have another best friend somewhere, because I’m good over here. One-and-done, remember?”
“You’ve been saying that for years, but people change, Skye. You’ve already admitted you’re tired of the dating scene, so you have three options.”
“Enlighten me, oh wise best friend.”
“You can keep your roster in rotation, you can stop dating and be happy alone, or you can give Knox a real chance and be happy with him.”
“Whatever. I’m glad our walk is over because you clearly need to rest.”
We continued up her driveway and stopped in front of the garage. The boys slept for the entire walk, but as soon as the stroller stopped moving for a minute, they woke up.
“Hey, Titi’s babies!” I cooed, getting Kilan while Nyomi got Nymeer.
I hadn’t admitted this to another soul, but every time I saw these little angels, my uterus did backflips, cartwheels, and somersaults. I worked overtime to ignore it because I was one-and-done, and I prayed the feeling was temporary.
The boys yawned and rubbed their eyes as Nyomi entered the garage code, and it opened. We each grabbed the stroller handle and pushed it into the corner, out of the way. She pressed the button to close the garage as we entered the house.
“You can run, but you can’t hide, Skye. Eventually, the truth will come to light, and when it does, I won’t hesitate to tell you I told you so. Knox still wants you, and you don’t have to admit it, but I know you want him too.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Is there anything you need me to do before I head out?”
I’d just finished getting ready for my date with Zion. He wanted to go bowling, and I was down for that. It was Stokely’s summer break, and he’d come home for a visit. I wasn’t sure how long he’d stay because he always said I cramped his style.
“Where you going?” he asked when I entered the kitchen.
He’d just come home from hanging with his friends and sat at the kitchen table eating takeout from Soulful Vibes.
“Bowling with Zion. I shouldn’t be out too late, but don’t wait up.”
“Have fun, but if you decide not to come home, let me know.”
“Who’s the mama here?”
“You are, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need to let me know. If you’d share your location with me—”
“Not happening, Son. Titi Skye has my location, so if you can’t reach me, you know who to call. Love you. Bye.”
I kissed his cheek and left before he asked me more questions. It was crazy that he thought I cramped his style when he was actually cramping mine. As much as I enjoyed the few and far between visits, I’d gotten used to his absence over the past three years.
In August, Stokely would start his senior year at Prairie View A&M, where he was earning a bachelor’s degree in kinesiology with a minor in applied exercise science. He usually came home for a few weeks during the summer and over the holidays, and I’d visited him a few times.
I listened to my R&B playlist during my fifteen-minute ride to the bowling alley. Zion was waiting at the entrance when I drove by, looking for a parking spot. A few minutes later, he smiled as I approached him.
Zion’s smile was what drew me in. His pearly whites almost looked fake because they were so white and straight. The day we met, he wore a grill, and when he smiled at me, my panties got wet.
He was dark-skinned with a low Caesar cut, round eyes, long lashes, and a dimple in his right cheek. He was gorgeous, but when he told me his age, I almost didn’t give him my number.