Chapter 13 Alex
ALEX
The second I open my eyes I feel like I got hit by a freight train.
My head is pounding, my back aches and my mouth tastes like regret and the cheap whiskey I drank myself to sleep with.
Groaning, I roughly rub my face and drag myself out of bed, stumbling towards the kitchen in desperate need of caffeine. Or maybe another drink?
My feet shuffle against the worn wooden floors.
I decide caffeine might be the better option and smack the coffee machine to life.
It grumbles like it resents me for existing, and honestly, same.
I lean against the counter, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I wait for that first, life-saving sip.
Mornings are for people who have their shit together.
I’m not one of those people. Especially not after last night.
Emma is the first thing in my head before I can even attempt to shove her out. She’s in there like a damn song stuck on repeat and it’s driving me insane.
Did I plan on touching her like that last night?
No. Do I regret it? Also, no. Feeling her softness against my rough hands was like ecstasy for me.
The way she was falling apart by my touch was reason enough to keep going.
She was so soft and warm between those thighs, and the way she tasted on my fingers was something I wish I could bottle up and save forever.
Now looking back, maybe it was rude of me to deny her an orgasm, but I was serious about wanting it to happen in a proper setting. When it’s only her and I, no chance of someone else seeing her exposed and vulnerable. Somewhere private, for my eyes only.
Thinking about her like this makes my cock hard all over again and I adjust it in my briefs for some relief. I pour the coffee into a mug as I try to think about anything else other than how she tasted. I want more of her. I need more.
This is what happens when she’s around. I lose myself entirely.
Emma consumes every one of my thoughts. Not even just now that’s she’s in Windhaven though.
She had the same effect from 300 miles away, too.
She’s always been different. Always the one girl I could never ignore.
Even after all this time, that still holds true.
When she’s around, you could ask me what my name is and I wouldn’t know. But ask me anything about Emiliana and I can tell you with no hesitation.
I can tell you that she likes her coffee sweet but with only a splash of milk because she’s lactose intolerant.
That she avoids talking about feelings like her life depends on it.
That she scraped her knees in fifth grade because she thought she could beat her brothers and me in a race, and tripped not even ten seconds in.
That she reminds me of a sunset: a midnight sky melting into a blazing inferno of gold and crimson.
That I was her first kiss, and one day, I hope to be her last.
I take a sip of coffee, wincing as the bitterness bites my tongue.
It doesn’t help. I grip the mug tighter, my fingers warming against the ceramic as I think about how Emma looked so damn beautiful last night, even as she seethed at me for showing up to her house again.
All I wanted to do was kiss her, one more time after all these years, just to see if it would shut her up or make her admit that she feels the same way I do every time I’m around her.
But I didn’t, because I couldn’t. I’ve already crossed the line by touching her. No matter how much I want her, how much I’ve always wanted her, she still wants nothing to do with me. If that wasn’t clear before, it has to be now after last night’s events.
So instead, I do what I’ve always done. I push it down. Bury it deep and pretend like I don’t care and I don’t feel this tight, suffocating pull every time she’s near. I will continue to pretend that I don’t see my entire damn world when I look at her.
I down the rest of my coffee, but it doesn’t do a damn thing to clear my head.
I’m so fucked.
Completely, irreversibly fucked.
And the worst part is, I don’t know if I want to fight it. With a sigh, I grab my keys and head for the door. The bar won’t open itself and I need to make sure the guys are stocked for the week at the festival. Maybe if I keep busy, I can get through the day without thinking about her.
But deep down, I already know it’s a losing battle.
Emma is always there, in the back of my mind, and that’s always been the real problem.