Chapter 30
ALEX
I wake up before her. Emma’s still asleep in my arms, her bare shoulder peeking out from under the covers.
I try to keep myself from overthinking, but it’s impossible.
This is the first time she’s ever been here, first time I’ve ever woken up next to her in my house, in my sheets, and it feels like a fucking dream.
A dream that I’m terrified of waking up from.
What if I do? What if this slips through my fingers before I even get a chance to hold on properly?
I know every inch of her, I can describe her with my eyes closed. But I still find myself staring at her and taking in every detail like the very first time. She’s been mine for maybe a month, and the thought of losing her now to something completely out of our control is unbearable.
She shifts against me, letting out a quiet exhale as she starts to wake up. I watch as her eyes flutter open, adjusting to the morning light.
“Happy Birthday, mi cielo,” I murmur, brushing my fingers over her arm.
She stretches, letting out a little groan before turning to look at me.
I’m sure she is too tired to catch the change in nickname but I hope she knows what it means.
The literal translation is “my sky,” but it is a declaration of my love, a love so boundless it feels infinite.
She is everything to me; the sky above, the air I breathe, the horizon I look for.
I hope she knows it is the only phrase that even comes close to describing her.
“Mmm… you’re staring.”
“Yeah.” I don’t even bother denying it. “You’re breathtaking.”
She rolls her eyes but still smiles. I feel it hit me straight in the chest.
I hesitate, but I have to ask. “How are you feeling?” My fingers brush over her wrist, where her pulse beats steadily beneath her skin. “Is this too much?”
Her expression shifts lightly, her features tightening. “No, Alex.”
I don’t like the way she says my name in warning.
“I’m serious, Em,” I say, sitting up slightly. “I’m just worried—”
“I don’t need you to treat me like I’m dying,” she cuts in. “I already know. You already know. There’s no need for constant reminders.”
I understand what she means, but still, I grit my teeth, trying to swallow the lump in my throat, but the words come out before I have time to think them through. “You’re not dying, Em.”
She looks like she’s about to argue, but I don’t let her.
“Don’t say it like that,” I add. “You don’t just get to accept that as fact. It’s not going to happen. You’re going to get a heart, and you’re going to be fine.”
She watches me for a moment and I can picture the thoughts scrambling in her head trying to break free.
Without a word, she moves closer, sliding over me until she’s straddling my hips.
Her fingers trail up my chest as her lips brush against my jaw.
“I’m fine,” she whispers, her mouth moving down to my neck.
I swallow hard. “Emiliana.”
“Shhh.” She nips at the skin there, and whatever protest I was about to make dies in my throat.
She’s proving a point, I know that. She’s showing me she’s still here now and that should be enough.
If this is how she wants to prove it, I’m not about to argue.
I let her take control as she presses me back against the pillows, letting her remind me just how alive she is. When I pull her down, I kiss her slower and deeper than ever before, threaded with all the things I can’t say out loud.
I need her.
I don’t know how to handle the thought of a world without her in it.
When it’s finally time to drag ourselves out of bed, Emma looks like she won a battle. She stretches, shamelessly naked in front of me. I groan, half asleep now that we’ve spent all morning completely lost in each other.
“You really want to start this again?” I warn as she tries pulling the blanket off me again. “What, you don’t think we have time for round three?”
I grab her wrist, yanking her back down onto the bed, making her laugh. “Keep looking at me like that and we won’t even make it to your birthday dinner.”
She presses a quick kiss to my lips before climbing off. “As tempting as that is, I need you to take me home so I can shower and get ready.”
I sigh dramatically. “Fine. But I love knowing my cum will be dripping out of you all day long.”
Emma slaps my shoulder once before I grab her naked body and pull her into one last kiss.
—
She leans over as the truck stops in front of her house, pressing a goodbye kiss to my jaw before opening the door. “Pick me up later?”
“Yeah,” I say, watching her climb out. “I’ll be back at 6.”
She’s halfway to her front door when I roll down the window. “Do we have time for one more quickie?” I call out after her.
She flips me off over her shoulder, laughing as she disappears inside. I chuckle as I pull away.
But as soon as she’s out of sight, the smile fades and the weight I’ve been trying to ignore settles back on top of me.
I drive towards the bar, lost in my thoughts.
I'm scared.
I just got her back, and I’m not ready to lose her. I can’t lose her.