Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Eden
I’ve never been kissed like this.
Foster’s lips pressed to mine make me feel steady. Grounded in a way I’ve never felt before. In this moment, we’re not rushing toward anything. We just exist with one another.
Everything around us seems to be quiet, as if the world has decided to give us space. I can no longer hear the storm raging outside, just the rhythm of my thunderous heartbeat and our breathing.
That’s all I hear.
Just the two of us.
It feels like I’m standing somewhere familiar and realizing I belong there. There is no urgency, no pressure, just him.
Us.
Not only does this moment feel important, but I feel like I matter to this man. The way his palm cradles my cheek, the soft caress of his tongue against mine.
I feel recognized. Seen. Cherished.
All the emotions I’ve never felt at the same time. I’ve never allowed myself to be this close. Sure, there have been kisses and some fooling around, but this, this kiss feels more intimate than any other experience before it.
What surprises me the most is how safe I feel with his arms wrapped around me. I don’t feel fragile or uncertain. I feel solid. As if this moment shared between us is a promise of our future, a chance for us to rewrite the past. It doesn’t matter how we got here, only that we’re here together.
We found one another, and all the little moments have led to this one. It’s as if the universe is trying to tell us: This is real, and this is what we both need.
I know I’m projecting because of how I feel about him, but it does feel real. The way he checks to make sure we’re still in this together, the way he holds me, and then there’s the fact that I can feel the evidence of his desire pressing against my thigh.
That’s definitely real.
Foster pulls out of the kiss and rests his forehead against mine.
The moment doesn’t feel broken or unfinished.
No, it feels as though it’s just beginning.
I don’t know this feeling. It’s not one I’m familiar with, but I want more of it.
I want everything this man is willing to give me. No second-guessing, no hesitation.
“I want you,” I breathe, and his arm tightens around my waist. Saying the words feels like stepping off a ledge and discovering that I’m able to breathe on the way down.
There’s that fear of rejection that lives inside me, inside both of us, but it’s quiet, more so now than ever before.
I’ve never said those words to another man before Foster, and my heart tells me I never will again, but I push those feelings aside. I refuse to overthink this.
I know what I want.
I want this man.
I want this moment that is only ours.
I’ve always been careful with my heart, holding pieces of myself back like they were fragile things meant to be protected.
But with him, that instinct fades. The noise of doubt, of what-ifs and maybes, softens until all I’m left with is this clear, steady knowing.
Not even the risk of heartbreak will stop me.
If tonight is all we’ll ever have, I’m embracing it with every ounce of my being.
This moment feels suspended in time, untouched by expectations or consequences. It doesn’t ask me to be anyone other than who I am right now. This is me, no longer hiding behind the fear of the unknown, honest, open, choosing what I want without apology.
And for once, I let myself believe that wanting something doesn’t make me weak. It makes me brave.
“I need you to spell it out for me, Eden,” Foster rasps, his forehead still pressed against mine as our breaths mingle, mixing as one.
Feeling braver than I ever have, I shift to straddle his lap. We both let out a low moan when his hard cock settles where we both want him to be. If only our clothes were not in the way. Unable to help myself, I rock my hips, and his hands clamp down around my waist to stop me.
“Eden,” he pants.
“I want you, Foster. I want more kisses, more of—everything. Anything you’re willing to give me.”
“You want to feel me here?” he asks, his fingers ghosting over my leggings, between my thighs.
“Yes,” I breathe. His touch causes my body to quake with need. I’ve never felt like this before. I’m way past want and have settled into the need category. I need this man to touch me, have his way with me.
“That will complicate things.” His hands find their way beneath my T-shirt, and I shiver as he gently traces his fingers over my spine.
“I don’t care,” I tell him, and it’s the truth. For once in my life, bring on the complicated. I’m not running from this. Not running from him. However, I do have something that’s going to make this even more complicated, and I should tell him, but I don’t want him to stop this.
“It’s been a long time for me, Eden,” he says, his voice low and sexy.
“Me, too,” I admit.
“How long?” he asks, his hands still roaming my spine as if he’s memorizing the curve.
“Never.” Nothing like blurting out the truth in the heat of the moment.
“Never?” he asks, and I don’t need to be able to see his face to know that I’ve shocked him. I can tell from the tone of his voice.
In the darkness, I move my hands up his chest to rest on his shoulders, and I rock my hips, letting him know that just because I’ve never done it, doesn’t mean I don’t want to. I really, really want to.
“I’ve never let anyone get close enough. I’ve been with a man for other things,” I say, stumbling over my words. I’m glad the power is out, and we’re sitting in darkness, because this is embarrassing. “Just not… you know, all the way.”
“You’re twenty-six, today, birthday girl. How is that possible?”
Even though he can’t see me, I shrug. “I never open my heart. As you know, growing up the way we did, trust doesn’t come easily.
There have been too many rejections, too many let-downs and empty promises.
My therapist would say that I locked my heart down.
That’s part of it, I guess, but the bigger part is I never felt safe enough with anyone else to let my guard down.
I feel safe with you,” I confess, very aware that I’m laying myself bare for this man in more ways than one.
“Fuck,” Foster rasps as he pulls me to his chest, hugging me tightly. I don’t hesitate to wrap my arms around him and return his embrace. When he finally pulls away, his hands rest against my cheeks. “Eden, baby, are you sure about this? You really want it to be me?” There’s awe in his tone.
“I trust you, Foster. I’m not asking for a marriage proposal, and I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with or ready for, but I have zero doubts, and I know there will be zero regrets sharing this moment with you.”
Silence falls between us, the storm rattling the windows outside, reminding us of its presence.
“It’s been years,” he says. “I couldn’t get past the guilt of wishing whoever it was, was someone else.”
My heart stalls, then starts up again at a rapid pace.
I know he still loves her, and that fractures a little piece of the hope I was holding on to that tonight could lead to something more.
Regardless, I choose him if he’ll have me.
I’ve fallen too far. I feel too much for him to stop this now.
If tonight is all I’ll ever have, I’ll cherish it with every breath I take, until it’s my last.
“I don’t think about her when I’m with you,” he says, dropping his own truth bomb, rebuilding the fragile hope I thought was withering away. “The thought of being the first man to be inside you… Fuck me, Eden, it’s a gift I’m not worthy of,” he croaks, his arms tightening their hold on me.
“I want you.” Leaning in close, I press my lips to his.
He whispers his confession, “I want you, too.”
“I don’t care what it changes. I don’t care what it complicates.
If this, if tonight is all that we have, I still want it.
I want this with you, Foster. I’ve always followed my gut, and my gut tells me that it was always meant to be you.
” My voice doesn’t shake, despite the way everything inside me feels as though it’s falling to pieces.
“Fuck,” he says, his lips capturing mine.
The distance between us is nonexistent. This meeting of our lips isn’t rushed or uncertain. There’s no hesitation, no second-guessing. It’s quiet but full, loaded with everything we’ve never said out loud and everything we’re too afraid to name. His grip on me tightens, and he groans into my mouth.
He wants this as badly as I do.
He wants me.
This kiss feels different. His lips are soft, yet firm and filled with intention.
This time, we’re not stopping, and my heart kicks into overdrive at the thought.
I don’t know what happens after tonight, but this doesn’t feel reckless.
Hell, it doesn’t even feel temporary. It feels like a choice.
One that we’ve both made. One that will not only complicate but also change the dynamics of who we are to one another.
Everything fades away, except for him. Just Foster and this moment, our connection, and my confidence that this is exactly where I’m meant to be.
Even with that realization, my heart pounds so hard, my chest aches, because I know with absolute certainty that whatever changes or consequences come our way after tonight, this moment is real.
We both chose this, and neither one of us is walking away from it.
For once, we’re both staying.
He just doesn’t know that I’d stay forever if I could.
Foster moves to the edge of the couch, and I squeak, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Grab the flashlight, babe,” he rumbles, and I do as he asks, reaching over to grab one of the lights. “Legs around my waist,” he instructs as he stands, and I wrap myself around him.
He carries me upstairs in the dark, but I’m familiar enough with the layout of his condo to know we’ve just stepped into his bedroom. When we reach his bed, he places me on the mattress gently.