34. Casey
Casey
M adden and Jade's wedding is growing nearer every day, and as happy as I am for my best friend, I’ve never felt more lost. I wear this mask of confidence, pretending that I have all my shit together, but I don’t.
When I broke up with Derek, I felt empowered and stronger than ever, and then I fucked it up by letting Caleb back in between my legs. And now my mind, and okay, maybe even my heart, are fucked. I could take all the time in the world and never get over him.
I go to work, and I find myself staring at the door and willing him to walk through that door. My skin feels hot, and my mouth goes dry every time the door swings open. Goosebumps cover my flesh with intense anticipation, and then disappointment floods my soul when it’s not him.
I cannot get involved with Caleb Randall again. I just can't. There has been too much pain and heartache, too much loss. But it’s just as painful staying away from him. Just as heartbreaking to deny him.
The door opens, and this time, I’m not disappointed. He walks in after having stayed away for nearly two weeks. The crew always showed up, but not Caleb. But he’s back. They go sit at their usual table and Jade walks over to take their order.
Caleb glances over at me, and there goes that heat to my skin. The dryness to my mouth. I’m drowning in anticipation.
The hell with this. Why should I deny him any longer? I fucking love him, and isn’t there some saying about love conquering all? It’s about time I put that saying to the test.
I start toward their table when it opens again. A pretty brunette waltzes in, clearly not from around here. She scans the room and then heads straight toward the guys’ table.
“Holy shit,” Caleb says, rising from his seat.
The brunette launches herself into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist. She plants a kiss on his lips. Jealousy boils inside me at his smile. At the way he holds her against him. It takes every part of me to resist snatching her out of his arms by her fucking hair.
He slowly lowers her down to her feet, his arm still draped around her. She beams over at him, looking like she’s totally lovesick.
“Guys, this is Hillary. A friend of mine from L.A.”
Friend my ass. Fuck buddies, maybe, but definitely not just friends.
Caleb grabs a chair from the empty table beside theirs and squeezes it in between him and Brady. Jade makes her way back over and takes her order before joining me at the bar.
“If you want me to stay, I can skip my class,” she offers.
“Why? Because some slut showed up and threw herself at Caleb?” I ask bitterly. “I’m used to that by now.”
And seeing them together reminds me that I was right for pushing him away. For keeping him away. My heart has been broken enough.