36. Casey
Casey
C aleb always fucking gets to me, and I let it happen over and over again. When will I learn my lesson? He’s broken my heart more times than I can count. All the on-again, off-again bullshit. It has to stop for good.
These thoughts run through my mind as I close up the bar, and I haven’t been able to shut them down. It’s late, and I’m ready to get home, take a long bath and forget about Caleb Randall.
But he swears he’s a changed man. Well, you know what? I’ve changed too. I want more out of life than I used to. I want the husband and the family and the picket fence. I want it all. And Caleb is not the man to give that to me.
That’s the part I find hard to accept. I want him to be that man.
I may dwell on the bad times, all the fights, but we had a lot of good times together too.
All the football games and Hollis street dances.
I was happy before. Caleb made me feel alive, wanted.
Hell, loved. And that was in spite of the arguing.
Arguing is our thing. It’s how our relationship works.
I just never thought arguing would cost me so much.
Absentmindedly, I place my hand on my flat stomach as I drive, wondering how I would look had I not had a miscarriage. I probably would’ve been horribly irritable and snapping at everyone. Which is already kind of my thing.
I turn onto my street, noticing headlights behind me. It’s late for Hollis, which usually means no one is out and about. Ignoring them, I pull into my driveway and get out, heading to my porch. I push my door open and then realize I’m not alone. The mere scent of him is a dead giveaway.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. “Don’t you have company to entertain?”
“Hillary’s a big girl. She can take care of herself.”
“Oh, and I can’t?”
“That is not what I mean, Case. You know that,” he says. “You’re so strong, the strongest person I know.”
Tears fill my eyes. “I’m not that strong, Caleb.”
“Yes, you are. Stronger than me, that’s for damn sure,” he says. “And I’m sorry. So fucking sorry. I can’t apologize enough times, and I don’t know how to make you forgive me. I’ll do anything you need.”
As much as I hate to admit it, I can see that he’s changed. He’s putting in the effort, trying to show me how much. It’s impossible to ignore. It’s just that I’ve built my walls up when it comes to him and having them fall is terrifying.
“What about Hillary? She came all the way here for you.”
“I told her to go back. You are the only woman for me.”
His body is suddenly flush against mine, my back pressed against the door and his lips drag along my ear. He nibbles my lobe and then kisses my neck before leaning back.
“Tell me I’m the only one for you,” he presses. “It can’t be harder to stay together than it’s been to stay apart.”
I can’t argue with him on that. This thing, this fire between us when we touch, has always been there.
“I’m done fighting you,” I say.
Without reluctance, I open right up for him, and he slips his tongue inside my mouth. We stumble through my door, and I focus on getting his jeans undone.
He might be a changed man, but I will always crave him.
His belt buckle clinks on the floor, and I slide my jeans and panties down to my ankles, kicking my shoes off. I’m dripping wet for him as lifts me up, walking me to my bedroom.
“Fuck, I’ve missed this,” he murmurs, sucking my earlobe between his lips. “Missed you.”
Caleb lowers me to my feet, taking a moment to discard the rest of our clothes into a heap on the floor. He pushes me back onto the bed, and in a flash, he’s between my legs, devouring me.
“Jesus,” I mutter.
He sucks and probes, his tongue doing wonders. I want to come on his face. Want to soak his lips with my juices. Before I have the chance to do that, he spins me around and leans my head to the side, searing scorching hot kisses to the curve of my neck while he pushes one finger inside me.
I spread my legs further apart, granting him full access. His cock is heavy against my ass while he finger fucks me until I’m trembling, begging for me. He teases my entrance for a moment, letting my juices wet his tip, and then he surges into me. I let out a moan, clutching the sheets.
“The uptight professor never fucked you this good, did he?” he asks.
I let my head fall back, but don’t answer him. I don’t want to think about Derek or Tori or Hillary or any fucking body else.
“Oh, God! Don’t stop! Please don’t stop, Caleb!”
“Did he play with these, Case? Lick and suck them like I love to do?” he asks, reaching around to cup my tits. “Did he spank these cheeks while he fucked you? Did you beg him like you’re begging me?”
“No,” I reply breathlessly. “Fuck no, he didn’t! Only you!”
Only him. It’s always been him. Always will be. At my confession, he drives inside me harder, faster, seeking his release. My own release builds, washing over me like a tidal wave. He groans, squeezing my hips as he comes.
He withdraws, and his cum drips down my thighs. He didn’t use a condom. I’m still on the pill, but it obviously wasn’t a hundred percent before.
“Why did you do that?” I ask, panic setting in as I rush to the bathroom to clean up, knowing it wouldn’t do any good.
Hollis doesn’t have any twenty-four-hour stores and even if they did, they don’t sell the morning after pill. I’ll have to drive to Redbud first thing in the morning to get it.
“I didn’t...I wasn’t thinking.”
A sob escapes my lips, unable to hold it in. Caleb comes to me, pulling me into his arms. He holds me as I cry, not for the mistake we just made, but for all the mistakes we’ve made.
Damn, there have been a lot of them.