Chapter 32
There’s a delicious ache between my legs, and my limbs feel both sore and sated as I stretch underneath the warm blankets. I don’t know how early it is, but I’m hoping I haven’t missed Westley sneaking out yet.
When I sit up, my eyes are still heavy with sleep, and the other side of my bed is empty except for a note sitting on the pillow.
Trickster.
I would have loved to have started your day, and mine, by waking you up with my tongue, but I remember the first time you woke up with me, and I didn’t want to startle you.
Not to mention, I tried to at least leave you with a morning kiss, but you didn’t give me any sign of life, so I’m going to need a text as proof when you wake up.
I’ll be thinking of you today. Can’t wait to see your pretty face later.
Thief x
I roll out of bed with a smile, then slip my feet into my Ugg boots. Pulling up my text thread with West, I make my way downstairs.
ME:
Morning Thief. As requested this is my official sign of life.
I did not succumb to the soul defying rapture you performed between my legs last night.
Far from it. In fact, I think a thorough repeat is needed to make sure your pleasure wielding powers are in proper working order *wink-emoji*.
Thank you for last night. It was amazing.
I’m looking forward to seeing you later too.
ME:
FYI If you would like to wake me up like that next time, I wouldn’t say no.
“What are you looking at?”
I clutch onto the stair railing with a gasp as my daughter stares at me from the kitchen. She has a bowl of cereal in her hand, a drop of milk spilled down the front of her pyjamas, and a spoon halfway to her mouth.
“Ahh, I was texting.”
“Aunt Pres?”
I take a deep breath as I step off the last stair and join Aurora in the kitchen, flicking on the kettle as I pass her to get a mug.
“Westley,” I admit, with my back still turned.
I’m waiting for a reaction that doesn’t come, and with each quiet second that passes, I feel dangerously close to fainting. I turn on my heels, bracing for… the goofiest smile on my daughter’s face?
“I knew it.” She drops her spoon in the bowl and sets it on the counter. “You like him.”
“What? What do you mean you knew it?”
She picks up my hands, shaking them in hers with excitement. “You guys are totally crushing on each other. It’s soooo obvious. Callie and I already picked your ship name over the weekend. Westyn.”
“A ship name?” I shake my head. “Wait… Wait. You and Callie talked about West and me while we were gone?”
Aurora scoffs as if it’s the most obvious thing. “Duh, Mum.”
She steps back, lifting her butt onto the kitchen bench, and picks up her breakfast bowl.
“She could tell when she saw you guys together the day she moved in that there was attraction. I didn’t really know what she meant, but I told her how you guys kept looking at each other when West came over to bake with us.
” She chews on her cereal, thinking to herself, while I filter through the catalogue of memories I’ve collected since meeting the man in question.
“That was a really fun night,” Aurora says softly. “I’d never seen you like that with a guy, and it had me wondering…”
I dump a teaspoon of coffee and Milo into a mug, then pour in some hot water. “About what, babe?” I ask.
Aurora stares into her bowl. “Do you not date because of me? Or… is it something my dad did?”
I cross the kitchen, leaning on the bench beside her, clutching the hot mug in my hands. “I was never looking for love or a fairytale. All I wanted to be was your mum, and I wanted to do it right. I chose not to have relationships because I already had the greatest love of my life.”
When my daughter’s eyes turn shiny, I feel my own start to tingle, and an onslaught of guilt rips through me for all the things I’ve held from her.
“I really like West,” she says softly.
“Yeah?”
She nods. “It’s never really bothered me not having a dad around, but…
Ever’s dad is really nice. Seeing them together kinda makes me wonder.
Do you think—” Aurora chews on her lip, so I put my mug down and take the bowl from her, setting it aside so I can hold her hands.
“Do you think he likes spending time with us? Both of us?”
“I am very confident that he does. He came over last night and asked me to be his girlfriend.”
A grin takes over my daughter’s face. “And you said yes?”
“I said yes.” I nod.
There’s something in her eyes that I haven’t seen before, and I seriously hope I’ve made the right decision in letting someone in like this. Cos if it all ends, I don’t think it’ll just be my heart that breaks.
Aurora kisses my cheek before she jumps off the bench and dumps her bowl in the sink, then starts to leave the kitchen.
“Ahem,” I call out, stopping her in her tracks, as I pick up my mocha again. “Dishwasher.”
She spins around, running back to the sink to rinse her dishes and pop them in the dishwasher, before rushing off.
“Aurora?” Her dark brown hair, still messy from sleep, whips over her shoulder as she turns to me.
“About your dad… Do you… need… ugh.” I stumble over the words, flustered with just the thought of getting this question out.
“If he wanted to be in my life, he would be,” she says fiercely.
“What if he didn’t know where to find you?” Shame and guilt simmer in my veins.
“You wouldn’t have done that unless you thought it was best.”
My hands squeeze the hot mug. “I don’t know what I did to deserve such a kind and smart kid.” I smile through the gentle tears that build.
She shrugs with a grin. “Just lucky, I guess.”
As she dashes up the stairs, I’m left with a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I am lucky. Of all the ways this parenting thing could have gone, I somehow ended up with a well-rounded, intelligent daughter.
Maybe I was always meant to take her and give her that chance.
The alternative was leaving her destined for the upbringing I had, and my heart hurts thinking of her spirit being squashed if she grew up in that place.
I reach for my phone, thinking of texting Royal, but instead I scroll to my chat with Westley. There’s already a message waiting in response to my earlier good morning.
THIEF:
I’m holding you to that, baby. Are you free Thursday for our first date?
ME:
I can make that work. Will Callie be home? Do you think it would be alright for Aurora to hang with her?
THIEF:
She’ll be home. Be ready at 5 x
ME:
Yes, sir.
I hesitate for a moment, the smile on my face at war with the doubt in my mind.
ME:
Have you ever kept a secret from someone important?
Dots bounce on my screen, then stop, so I take my mocha upstairs with me so I can start getting ready for work.
I manage to finish my shower, hair, and makeup before I check my phone again.
THIEF:
Don’t ever tell her this but… I hate my mother’s mashed potatoes.
My grin is unstoppable as I keep reading his next text.
THIEF:
I think if you truly love and care for someone, you wouldn’t need to keep secrets because you know they’d always be understanding of your point of view.
Even if they didn’t agree with it. Sometimes we’re so terrified of disappointing or hurting someone, we forget the love and care they have for us too.
I’m both soothed and terrified by Westley’s advice. My mind is on an endless loop as I think back to Royal. My parents. My past. I do want to protect Aurora, that’s why I’ve done everything I have since the moment I took her.
At what point did my actions stop being for my daughter and start being for me?
Have they been that way all along?
Maybe it’s time to set myself free from the past, so we can both move into the future. But how the fuck do I do that? How can I be sure the past isn’t going to come back and take everything from me again?
I walk over to the bed, still wrapped in my towel as I sit down and pick up the notebook from the bedside table. I flick past the first few pages with my spicy thoughts and start a new page for the other thoughts West told me to get down.
I’m scared Aurora will feel like I took the choice away from her when we left our parents. I’m scared she won’t understand I was only trying to save her from a life I was in the middle of escaping before she came along, and I didn’t want her going through the same thing.
I’m scared she won’t want me to be her mum when she learns I’m really her sister.