Save the Princess An Edison & Max Short Story #2
Ed waited with a grin, snagging two more guards who stupidly went to check on the “dead” without securing the area first. Part of him felt sorry for these guards. Charlie had been helping to train the palace security, and they were going to get torn new assholes after this debacle.
Before the smoke completely cleared, Ed hauled himself onto the yacht using one of the mooring ropes rather than the gangplank.
He’d barely gotten to a hiding spot behind a large sofa on the main deck as something whizzed by his cheek and splatted against the bulkhead.
Ed looked over his shoulder to see a splat of blue paint.
Alexei snickered. “Oh, my God. That was horrible. Did you even bother to aim?”
“Shut up,” Soren grumbled softly. “I’m out of practice. You’re the assassin. Not me.”
Shit. The thief and former assassin team meant the skill level had just jumped significantly.
And because of his size, hiding wasn’t the easiest thing.
At least not compared to the very lithe twink Alexei.
The little shit could squeeze into practically any spot.
Ed was the bulldozer or wrecking ball of the team.
Not that he didn’t enjoy sneaking when he could.
It was just that the yacht was a very confined space. Not much sneaking room.
It was better to stick to his strengths.
The second he pinpointed where Soren was located, Ed darted out of his hiding spot and charged toward Soren like an enraged bull.
Soren popped out to shoot him but yelped.
Ed was suddenly too close. That hesitation was all he needed to knock Soren’s gun aside and grab him.
He slung the man around to use him as a human shield just as Alexei was jumping out to shoot him.
Like his boyfriend, Alexei paused for a breath, seeming reluctant to shoot his own boyfriend even if it was only with a paintball.
Ed didn’t have the same hesitation. He shot Alexei from under Soren’s arm and then shot Soren in the thigh for good measure. Soren howled at the bite of the paintball while Alexei groaned while lowering his weapon.
“I can’t believe I hesitated,” Alexei muttered.
“Neither can I,” Soren replied, sounding rather stunned.
“Soren, love, how could I shoot you?” Alexei flashed his boyfriend wide blue eyes and fluttered his lashes.
“Quite easily when you’re showing off for your uncles,” Soren pointed out. Alexei blushed, but Soren let him off the hook. “But you’re getting better, Angel.” Soren attempted to take a step forward as if he meant to embrace Alexei, but Ed tightened his hold on Soren’s collar.
“Nope,” Ed said, pulling him back.
“What? Corpses are supposed to exit the yacht until the game is over,” Soren argued.
“Yeah, but you’re my shield now. I think I’ll keep you for a while longer.”
Alexei cackled and strolled toward the gangplank. He waved one hand above his head as he left. “Try not to let him get too bruised before you return him to me.”
“Assholes. Both of you are mean assholes. I don’t care if it’s your birthday,” Soren snarled under his breath even as Ed pushed him across the main deck.
Just like with Alexei, the royal guards all hesitated at the sight of Soren and didn’t fire, which was surprising since Ed was considerably wider and taller than Soren.
It wasn’t as if there weren’t parts of Ed they couldn’t aim at and not hit Soren.
But Ed wasn’t about to point that out. He just took out the guards he spotted the second they showed even a sliver of a target.
Unfortunately, the tables turned when he entered a lounge area under the main deck and he discovered Justin and Gabriel—world-class assassins and Alexei’s uncles. He barely had enough time to shove Soren at them and dive behind a large wingback chair.
“Ow! Ow! Fuck! Ed let me go already!” Soren shouted as he was pelted with paintballs.
“I know. Shooting you is just fun, and Alexei won’t let us use real bullets.” Justin snickered.
Of course, Justin had confided in Ed that they liked Soren well enough and were glad he made Alexei so happy. They just enjoyed tormenting Soren to keep him on his toes.
Ed briefly considered backtracking out of the room.
Taking on Justin and Gabriel alone was not something he was brave enough to attempt.
But the distance to the door from his hiding spot was too far.
Clinging to the distraction Soren was creating, Ed sucked in a deep breath and held it as he popped out from his hiding spot to aim at the duo.
“Got ‘em,” Justin purred.
Ed had barely gotten his head out to locate Justin when he found the man’s gun was already pointed at him.
“Sorry, love,” Gabriel murmured. Ed blinked to see the other assassin press the muzzle of his paintball gun to the temple of his husband.
Justin froze, his eyes wide. The assassin slowly opened his hand so that the gun was balanced on one finger by the trigger guard. “Babe? What the hell?”
“I can’t let you shoot a man on his birthday. It’s just not fair,” Gabriel cooed, his Russian accent thickening slightly.
For a heartbeat, the entire room seemed frozen in shock, but a loud bark of laughter broke it.
Soren threw himself into a chair, his arms around his waist as he chortled so hard he almost started choking.
It was enough to grab the attention of the assassins, who fired at the former thief.
Just as Justin turned his gun on Gabriel, launching his body across the room, Ed made a break for the door, escaping before anyone could recall he’d ever been in there.
It was better to let the assassins and thief have their own fun.
Ed was smart enough to know when he was outgunned and outclassed.
As he reached the hallway, shouts from Soren and Justin echoed out of the room as the assassins took shots at each other and Soren complained about how they’d shot at an unarmed corpse.
Ed leaned against the wall, gasping for air.
He wiped the sweat from his brow. Charlie was a fucking asshole.
He could have at least warned him that Alexei’s uncles had come to play.
He was touched that they’d taken the time, but no one wanted to face either of them alone.
And to take on both of them at the same time was just suicidal.
At least they were entertaining themselves now. Ed peeked down an empty hall to spot a door that was probably to the master bedroom. That was a good place to stash a princess.
He cautiously opened one of the double doors and peered inside to find that instead of a bedroom, he faced an office. In the center was a dark wood desk, and Isidore was sitting behind it in a large leather swivel chair.
“Welcome, Mr. Walker. I’ve been expecting you,” Izzie greeted in a horrible fake accent worthy of the most clichéd supervillains. He even had his fingers steepled in front of him as if he were weaving together evil schemes. Someone had been watching way too many old James Bond movies.
If Izzie was sitting out in the open, his boyfriend, Kairo, had to be somewhere in the room, watching over his precious cinnamon roll.
He briefly considered tossing a smoke bomb into the room, but the room was small and didn’t offer good ventilation.
Izzie could get hurt, and that was the last thing he wanted. He had only one option.
With his left hand, Ed snagged the “knife” from his belt, popped off the cap with his thumb, and launched it at Izzie just as he was saying something about falling into their evil plan.
“Shit!” Kairo hissed. The hacker jumped from his hiding place behind a bookcase and sailed through the air with the goal of putting his body between the marker and Izzie.
A wicked grin spread across Ed’s lips as he squeezed off a round and popped Kairo in the leg as he crashed to the floor. He shifted his aim to Izzie.
“Center mass!” Kairo shouted from the floor.
“What?” Izzie gasped, looking so completely lost.
But Ed got it. Kairo was trying to tell him that Izzie was wearing a bulletproof vest. He had been about to shoot Izzie in the arm, hoping it wouldn’t hurt much, but hitting the bulletproof vest meant Izzie shouldn’t feel any pain at all.
He squeezed off two rounds, leaving red splats of pain in the middle of Izzie’s chest.
“Wait! That’s it? I’m dead already? I had a whole diatribe I worked up. It was really impressive, and now I don’t get to say it at all?” Izzie whimpered, staring down at the red paint on his black shirt.
“Sorry, baby,” Kairo groaned from where he lay on the floor. “In the real world, evil villains don’t get to monologue.”
“Oh, but…but if he killed me before I said anything, how could he be sure he could get the princess?”