Chapter 4 Charisma
I turn around from the window where it’s growing darker outside by the minute, and I see Chrishon staring at me.
I know that he hates when I call him that name.
He always did from the minute he adopted the name Chaos, but I like to remind him that I knew him before the pain.
There’s always a secret prayer in my heart that calls out to the boy I once knew.
The look of rage on his face scares me and erases every memory of the boy that I’ve been searching for. It even eliminates the man that I knew him to become.
Chaos stalks toward me and asks, “Is it true?”
I frown as I toy with the cross at my neck. “Is what true?”
I have no idea what he’s talking about or who he took that call from, because he walked away from me while he took the call.
“When I ask you this question, I suggest ya li’l ass don’t lie to me unless you want me to murda ya ass. I’m not fucking playing, Charisma. I’ll do that shit in the blink of an eye,” he states, pulling his gun from the back waistband of his jeans.
My heart thuds in my chest because he has never pulled a gun on me. I wonder if I even know this man anymore. A lot can change in five years, and he has changed. Whatever caused him to run away in the first place seems to have changed him into someone I no longer recognize.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but would you please put that thing away?”
“Hell nah. I’m not putting shit away, because I want ya li’l hot ass to know that I’m not fucking around with you. I’m deadass, Charisma.”
“Ask me the question!” I shout nervously as tears fall from my eyes. My stomach is a tight knot, and I swear that I feel like I’m about to crap on myself.
“Is your kid mine?”
My heart drops because I never wanted to keep the truth from him, but I had no idea where he went all those years ago. It was like he dropped off the face of the earth, and I had no way to contact him, and neither did his mother and sister.
In some ways, I was devastated and broken because I loved that man with my entire being, but in other ways, I was relieved.
I had been worried that he wouldn’t be a good influence on my baby, knowing the lifestyle that he led.
Besides, toward the end of our relationship, all we did was argue and fight about his involvement with the MC and my expectations of him.
I loved him and knew he would love his kid, but I was uncertain what impact his lifestyle would have on CJ.
“Answer me, damn it!” he barks, reminding me that I’m standing here staring at him as though I’m mute.
I close my eyes and squeeze my hands tight. I send up a simple prayer asking God to spare my life for my baby’s sake. “Yes,” I whisper.
“Boy or girl?”
“Boy.”
“What’s his name?”
I lower my gaze and mutter, “CJ.”
“CJ?”
I nod and lift my eyes to his, and I’m surprised to find them sparkling with hope.
“Yes. Chrishon Martez Jr. Though he’s not really a junior since you weren’t there to sign the birth certificate.
I had to hyphenate his last name because they wouldn’t let it be Donovan without your signature.
It’s Donovan-Cofield,” I ramble on needlessly.
“Where is he, Charisma?
“I can only guess that he’s with the babysitter at her house.”
“The fuck you mean you can only guess? What kinda mother don’t know where her kid is?”
“The kind who wakes up in a stranger’s apartment because she’s been drugged and can barely remember her last steps.”
“What’s her number? You wanna call her?”
“I don’t know it by heart. It’s saved in my phone, and since it’s dead, I can’t call her.”
“Lemme see,” he demands, wiggling his fingers.
“My phone?”
“Yeah.”
I hand it to him. “It’s an iPhone.”
He sets it on the counter behind him. “I’ve got an Android, which uses a Type C, so it won’t work.”
“I need to get to him.”
“You know where she lives, right?”
“I-I do.”
“We’re going to get him right now.”
“No! You can’t go, but I can.”
“The fuck? You lost your damned mind if you think I’m about to let you out of my sight again and not have the chance to meet my kid.”
“I promise that I will return with him.”
“What the fuck ever. You’re a lying ass heffa, and I don’t trust shit out of your mouth.”
I’m stunned by his words because Chrishon has never called me out of my name. I have no idea what made him hate me so much, neither do I know what caused him to stop trusting me, but now is not the time to clear it up.
“Fine, we’ll go back and get him, but we can’t bring him back here, and we can’t take him anywhere on a motorcycle.”
“I’ve got a cage outside,” he states, referring to a car. That’s what all the guys in his motorcycle club used to call vehicles that weren’t m otorcycles.
“Okay,” I mutter.
We head back outside, and he leads me to the pickup truck I saw earlier. It’s a black Ram 1500 with chrome accessories.
I must get away from him, and I’m not sure how I will do it, but I’m not ready to take on Chaos again. I mean that literally and figuratively. Having him back in my life, even as CJ’s dad, will be more than I can handle.
Maybe I can ditch him when we get to Angelique’s house. I wish that I could text and give her a heads-up, but I’ll have to think quick on my feet and make do with whatever I come up with.
“Can you please stay in the car when we get there?”
“Why?”
“I’m not bringing anyone else into this beef you and I have.”
“Oh, trust me, baby girl, ain’t no beef.”
I roll my eyes and sigh heavily as I turn my gaze back to the window. “Turn here. This makes no sense you know. How am I supposed to explain your presence to him?”
“The same way you will have to once he gets down here in the car. Same way you would have if I’d been here from day one.”
“But you weren’t!”
“Because you didn’t give me the fucking opportunity to!”
“Take self-responsibility, Chrishon.”
I can see his jaw clench because no one calls him that name anymore. No one has since before his dad died.
“Me take responsibility. That’s rich coming from you.”
“I’m just saying, you’re the one who disappeared, and I had no way to contact you.”
“You could have gone to Priest and told him. He would have gotten the message to me.”
“Why would I do that when I should have had direct contact with you? Going to the MC was never an option for me, and you know it. They’re the most disrespectful ass men I’ve ever met. Besides, your mom and sister knew. Your ass should have been in contact with them.”
He turns away from me and sighs. I can tell that I touched a nerve, and I wonder why he didn’t stay in touch with them. He made sure they had money in their bank accounts, but that was it.
“Listen, you decided not to be there for me anymore. You decided that you didn’t wanna be my ride-or-die.”
“No! I just decided that I didn’t want to die.
All I ever asked of you was to walk away .
. . repeatedly. It was cute when you were nineteen and becoming a prospect.
It was cute when you were twenty-one and twenty-three getting your swagger.
By the time we hit twenty-five, it was time to grow up and consider our future. ”
He angles his head, clenches his jaw, and tightens his hand on the steering wheel.
“Yeah, a’ight,” he mutters around the gum that he’s chewing vigorously and nods.
“Take a left here,” I instruct, pointing at the street ahead.
No sooner than we turn on the street, we see media vans out front of the building where Angelique lives. My gut clenches, and fear rolls through me.
“The fuck. You trying to set me up or something?”
“What? No! This isn’t about you. Oh my God, nooo.”
“You think they’re here for you?”
“I don’t know, but I’m not interested in finding out the wrong way. I have to get my kid.”
“I’ve got a plan. Hurry up and climb your ass in the back seat. There’s a blanket back there. Throw it on over you.”
“Have you been screwing on that blanket, Chaos?”
“What? Hell no. Do what I say. We’re about to be there any second.”
I take a tumble into the back seat, trying to hurry up. I grab the blanket that he indicated, and it smells like motor oil and mothballs. I want to throw up, but I don’t. My heart pounds rapidly in my chest as I feel the truck continuing to move down the street.
“All right, you’re in the clear,” he states after a minute.
I slowly peer up. “You sure?”
“Yeah. I drove a block over. I’m about to park on this street, and we’ll have to enter the building from behind. Are you too good to walk through the woods?”
“No.” I remain in the back seat, not wanting to risk falling again.
“A’ight. We gotta be quick and stealthy. I’ll bring the truck closer once I’m certain that we’re safe,” he explains as he pulls the truck to a stop.
As we race through the woods, the only thing that I can think about is that escaping Chaos has been made that much harder by all those media trucks in front of Angelique’s place.