Chapter 7
Love
“What changed?” Maya asks me when I walk outside the room charging out of the hospital towards Kai’s car.
“Wow, easy cowboy,” Maya says and stops me at the hospital’s parking lot. A car stops in front of us.
“Come here,” Rian says rolling the windows down. I lunge towards the passenger seat, breaking with each step, he’s the only one I can talk to, the only one that can help. “Not you, fool, go with Kai,” Rian says locking the doors as soon as I get in, leaving Maya out alone. “What did he do?”
“He fucking broke me, Ry. I chose him and he broke me. He’s stating he didn’t fake liking me but I can’t believe a word he says. He confirmed everything you said and more,” I say my heart throbbing, tears streaming, my chest squeezing.
“Hey, we’re going to get through this, we always do,” Rian says and puts his hand on top of mine on my leg.
“I fear he infested me with too many thoughts and wrong beliefs and I don’t know if I can get rid of them without getting rid of myself in the process. And I just found the real me. And for the first time I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t miserable, I was thriving. What should I do Rian?-”
“Want to drink it away?” Rian asks and instead of thinking clearly and saying “no, what a stupid idea” I say “Sure.”
“It’s the only cure I know,” Rian says, “Doesn’t heal but numbs the pain”
“If we agree to no drugs count me in,” Rian winks at me and starts the car. He drives us to the bar in front of our condominium. I move through the streets about as numb as someone can possibly be and I feel the need for something I haven’t felt in a long time.
“Don’t,” Rian says when he notices picking on my skin. “Johnny, my men. The finest whiskey to my girl Love here,” I enter the bar and can even feel the sketchiness.
“I’m not going in there,” I tell Rian holding his wrist.
“Come on, as long as you’re with me, you’re safe, I got your back,” Rian says and hesitantly I enter the lowly dimmed bar and see all decorations are in black, gold and silver. The gold and silver are still clearly remnants of Christmas decorations.
“Double it,” I tell who I assume is Johnny. He adds whiskey to the top of my cup and I thank him before drinking all of it in one go. My head gets dizzy but Rian supports me.
“Enough drinking for you,” Rian says and everything else is a blur. I convinced him to have one more drink. It was one drink after another for as long as I can remember. And I went outside to catch some air when Rian was in the bathroom.
I was about to pass out when two arms pick me up. I touch my phone’s turn on button five times so it sends my location to my emergency contacts, Josh and Dad.
The man who picked me up puts me in a car and I think I’m done when I doze off. Once back to my senses I see I’m at the condominium but not in my room or anywhere in my apartment.
“Feeling better?” Dominik asks and I look at my arm and see I have an IV with saline on my right arm.
“Where am I?” I ask and try to get the IV off but Dominik stops me and I don’t have the strength or will to protest.
“You’re in my apartment. Before you freak out, I mean no harm.
I told you, you didn’t know me because you only knew the good parts, it was all that would come out when you were around.
There wasn’t dark, there wasn’t chaos, there wasn’t the blood blindness.
Whenever you’re around all there is, is you.
You and this profound sense of acceptance, calmness and eagerness at the same time.
Love I did not in any moment use you, all I said and did was true,” Dominik says and hands me a bucket when I’m about to throw up.
Surprisingly, I don’t have the strength or want to shake his hand off my hair.
“How could you be married to someone you don’t love?-,” I ask but am stopped by more nausea.
“All my life all I ever saw was commitment, alliances and survival. Stepping on whoever comes in my way to success. And doing whatever it takes to stay in control,” Dominik says and I’m still in disbelief, “I knew nothing other than numbness, chaos and wrath. You tuned these feelings in a different frequency, I for once could ignore them with you around.”
“How can I believe you?” I ask Dominik and his hand falls to his couch’s arm next to me. I notice I’m in his living room and Dominik is sitting on the floor next to me. He’s still as tall as me and I’m way above him.
The dark fog in the room seems to lift and for once I can breathe.
“I can come clean to Josh.-”
“Don’t,” I say, Dominik is going to speak more however, I lightly put my hand over his lips.
“Don’t even think about it Dominik, my brother would never trust you again and my father would literally kill you.
There’s a way you can help,” I start unsure of what I’m about to say.
Normally I don’t like wars. But Spencer started it.
I’m ending it. Before he ends someone else I care about.
“Anything,” Dominik says and I push myself to a sitting position grabbing the bucket and vomiting on and off for a couple of seconds. No minutes, but it felt like hours.
“Help us end Spencer. He’s attacking us.
I won’t let them kill anyone else. You either help us end him or we’ll end you both.
I’d vote on the first one, you could have a second chance with me.
Or you choose Spencer and accept your imminent death,” I whisper and Dominik whispers “I’ll always choose you, in any circumstances,” I put my hand over his.
“Anything else you want to tell me?” I ask him taking advantage of his fragile moment.
“I’m still upset you slept in another man’s bed,” Dominik says sitting next to me and putting his arm cautiously around my shoulders. I feel his inviting warmth and lean my head against him. His calm breaths soothe me and help me lower my anxiety levels.
I’m still hurt, I’m still mad as hell, but I can’t stay away from him.
“You mean Rian’s? He’s my best friend, you’re being unreasonable,” I say and he shakes his head with an evil smirk on his lips.
“Doesn’t matter. He likes you. Would you like it if I slept in Stephanie’s bed and said she was my best friend?” he asks and I slap his arm.
“Don’t you dare.”
“Now you know how it feels. I know how to make someone disappear, Love. Don’t make me act on it because I promise you I can and will burn down everyone and everything that stands between us. And Rian is an annoying tick.-”
“Don’t call him a tick,” I say and look too strongly into his eyes, they embrace my being and consume me until I’m nothing more than his.
“Why? Do you prefer ‘Ry’?” he asks and I see he’s really jealous. Am I insane for thinking it’s cute? Maybe I am, but it is.
“I will keep myself off his bed but you need to get a divorce,” I say and he chuckles. “What?” I ask punching his arm lightly.
“Hit me whatever you want, I’m divorced for about one year now,” I can guess the moment he made the decision from the top of my mind.
“Was it December 20th?” I ask Dominik and he nods.
It was the day both of us spent all night talking.
It was the closest we’ve been until Declan came back because I kind of slipped away from Dominik, because I didn’t want to mislead him, in case Declan was the one.
But I was delusional myself. Dominik was all I could think about that year.
Declan was only a thought when his arrival was near, and only since Rian wouldn’t stop yapping about it.
“I couldn’t keep lying to myself saying you were no different. When to me you were the only one who made the difference in my life,” Dominik says and all my hate goes away.
“Did you really come into a fentanyl filled room to save me?” I ask Dominik and he nods.
“And I’ll do it again if needed,” Dominik begins and I get up and start pacing.
“You could’ve died,” I say and when Dominik corners me against a wall, his hand on my waist my heart races as if my life is at stake, but his was. “Promise not to commit suicide because of me, Dominik”
“I did no such thing, I saved us both. We’re both here,” Dominik asserts and I get a grasp on his shirt feeling the need to strangle him. He takes off the IV, when I scratch it.
“If you ever make a stunt like that again I’ll choke you to death, Dominik, I’m not kidding,” I say, his lips crash against mine, I pull him closer by his shirt’s fabric within my fingers.
He devours me, his heart beating faster, or is it mine?
All I can hear is Declan’s lips against mine.
His hands roam my body through my clothes.
Over my legs, ass, waist, breasts, stopping at my neck to deepen his hold on me.
Our bodies glued. I feel like I’m finally alive, not just existing.
Dominik holds my hair and pulls my head back so he can feast on my neck. Sucking, biting, and licking anywhere he can reach. I tremble as control leaves my system and chaos reigns.
Dominik makes sure to mark me, own me, before I take off my shirt. “God I thought I lost you,” Dominik says and laughs.
“You’ll have to try harder, I’m difficult to shake off.
And I’m miserable right now,” to my surprise, he doesn’t talk doesn’t say a word.
His eyes are fixated on me, when he grabs the hem of his shirt to take it off, parting our bodies temporarily, I look away to his abs, which gives me a disapproving look.
“Eyes on mine. You don’t get to look today.
You ran from me. You’ll eventually understand it’s pointless to try to push me away.
You’ll come back to me,” he says taking my bra off.
I keep looking at his green eyes, full of intent, pupils dilated like I’m his favourite new drug.
When in fact I fear that’s all I might be.
He’s on a high he’s going to come down from and dispose of me like all the girls before me.
Pinch. A punishment shouldn’t feel this good.
“Don’t overthink,” my nipples harden and he pinches them again. It was my fault I looked at the couch when Dominik’s phone lit up.