Chapter 9 #2
“It’s my fault. It’s all my fault, all of this. I hid something from you too,” my mom says her hazel eyes red from crying. She holds both sides of my head and kisses my forehead. “I’m sorry,” she says then turning to dad and Josh who nod, leaving some space between us and them.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” I tell my mom, not understanding where this is going.
“Spencer’s dad tried to kill me. That’s why your father taught him a lesson.
That’s why you were kidnapped and almost died.
If it weren’t for Javol’s help,” my mom says and my father gets nearer to hand her a tissue.
“But he helped mom, it’s fine. I’m fine, see?” I say and smile at her but tears don’t stop streaming down her face.
Thud.
The darkness in the corner of the hallway starts expanding, and reaches its way within the light to me.
Thud.
My father hugs me and asks me why I never told them.
Thud.
Josh says if I ever need him to stay over at night, I should call him, he says I’m not alone.
Thud.
Mom gets me to sit down in the hallway since I was shaking. I was shaking. I am still shaking. Everyone knows now. Everyone knows how broken I am.
“I need to see Dominik,” I say as soon as I find a chance to get the hell away from that deeply loving affection. I don’t deserve it. My mom doesn’t stop me. Josh goes away, literally through the exit door. And Dad stands outside of Dominik’s room door.
I enter and sneak to the seat next to Dominik’s bed while Dominik and Damian are talking. I check with Dominik it’s ok for me to be here, he smiles at me. Smiles. I missed him. And he was never gone. My heart fills with hope. Hope only a smile from Dom could give me. Only him.
“As I was saying,” Damian begins, “You’ll need an 8-week recovery time for normal function.
And I’d recommend at least twelve weeks before you perform another stunt like that,” Damian says and laughs at the end.
He’s fake laughing, or maybe nervous laughing.
He assisted on Dominik’s surgery. He wanted to be the main surgeon but protocol said they were too close for him to even assist, so he got lucky. We all did.
“Let’s not repeat it,” I request and Dominik seconds it. For a moment everything is better.
“What happened outside?” Dominik asks and I cross my legs and put my hands around my knee trying not to show how shaky I am. “You’re scaring me”
“I’m scaring you?” I ask surprised and he nods, “Sorry, didn’t mean to. My mom told me everything that happened on New Year’s Eve. The reason behind Max and Declan’s desperate attack,” I lie, I already knew the reason.
“And you could relate?” Dominik asks and I see he’s trying to connect the dots on why my brother would instantly kill Spencer, since he’s more of a torture people to death guy. Why was I terrified of seeing Spencer. And I’m not ready to talk.
Thud.
“It’s not about me-,” Dominik almost interrupts me but I get straighter on the chair, and he stops himself. “Don’t push, please,” I request wanting to flee, but not being able to leave him alone, not like this.
“Fine,” Dominik says and adjusts on the bed.
“Do you need anything?” I ask him already handing him a bottle of water.
“I’m fine. It’s just the pain,” Dominik confesses and I sit down. “Why can’t you sleep?” Dominik asks and my leg starts shaking.
“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” I ask him and he shakes his head. “I need you to promise me no word I say will get out of here, and that you won’t pity me,” I plead, my heart wanting to give in, and talk about it for once in my life.
“I promise,” Dominik says and tears start streaming down my face. I thought I ran out of them. My chest is heavy and I can barely breathe, but I still force myself to speak.
“When I was fourteen, Spencer’s father kidnapped me to get to my dad.
My father did everything he could to find me unharmed, it took him a week to find me.
Spencer’s father had it all planned to the detail.
While I was there they beat me up. More specifically Spencer’s father did.
And when I thought I could catch a break at night, Spencer would-,” I can’t describe, not without digging my nails into my flesh to feel pain for another reason, a valid reason, a reason that won’t turn me into the victim.
“Shh, it’s ok-,” Dominik says and holds my shaky hand. I feel like I finally can breathe, someone knows, and he doesn’t look at me like I’m weak.
“I never told my parents. They found out today. That was what happened outside. I never thought anyone would know. I didn’t want them to.
I didn’t want to be labelled as something I don’t see myself as.
And in this world it’s so easy to put a label on anyone and everyone.
If they knew, I’d be the broken one- the victim.
And the worst part is that I’m too much of a coward to bring him to justice- our justice anyway,” I say, my voice breaks and fails several times.
And I feel it in his eyes. The “I’m sorry” look. “Dominik don’t-”
“Do you want to know who I see when I look at you? I don’t pity you, Love.
But I am deeply sorry about what happened, and I won’t apologise for that,” I nod when he stops talking and he never ceases contact with me.
“When I look at you, I see a survivor. Someone who’s been too strong for too long, holding all that weight alone.
You’re not alone anymore! And I won’t let anyone hurt you, I won’t let anyone threaten to dim your light.
Not now, not ever. Not ever again,” Dominik whispers and I physically need to get up and near him.
I seal our lips and know we’re definitely the deal.
Even if it’s cliché the “If it’s meant to be, it will be,” it’s true.
It was meant to happen. For us to be together, it took two years of him wrestling against my walls, but he finally got in, and I don’t want to push him away.
For once, I found some peace. And my peace? It’s him.