Chapter 11
Love
Did I ever say Dominik is going to be the death of me? Well, he is, there it’s said.
We spent the weekend on the island. We only got last night together and it was much more intense than before.
It was soul-felt love, it was longing for each other, it was the need to consume one another.
And I’m pretty sure Maya heard us, she’s a light sleeper and she looked at me funny when I got out of the room.
But that could’ve just been because of the new set of bite marks and hickeys. I’ll never know.
We’re back home. I didn’t like the purge idea, but I had to agree to it. It was needed to tame the attackers and end the insiders they must’ve had, there have been no threats since. However, it’s only day one since we’re back.
“I still don’t like him,” I hear my father tell my mother in the living room, when I’m at the top of the stairs.
“Pretend you do, he’s a good one, Vance,” my mom says and I smile, she’s got my back, she always will.
“I’ve seen a lot of good ones and he isn’t it,” my father says and I announce myself walking downstairs.
“Good morning,” I say hug both of them and go to the kitchen. Rian is there when I arrive. “Hey, how’s the pain?” I ask him and he smiles.
“Much better,” he says and I see him receive a text. He smiles at it. And confirms my guesses, he’s starting to crush on someone else, thank God for answering my prayers.
“What are you smiling at?” I try but he doesn’t budge and hides his phone’s screen against him. It’s new! “Come on, we’re besties,” I reinforce but nothing, it only gets me a laugh.
“Nice try,” Rian says kisses my forehead and goes outside with a coffee mug, his old routine, seeing the sun coming up in the early morning with a good drink and a warm blanket. He doesn’t like company so I make some oatmeal and go back to my room with it in my hands.
Maya: Hello???? @notyourlove where are you?
Me: I was downstairs. What’s going on?
I ask trying to see the previous messages but I can’t, another reply comes from our girl Instagram group.
Maya: Josh kissed Sammy.
Sammy: It was an accident.
Maya: Didn’t look like it.
Me: How does Maya know and I don’t? @sammycares
Sammy: Shut up you two, it was a mistake.
Sammy: And don’t you dare say it didn’t seem like it Maya. I’ll uncover you.
Uncover her? What does Sammy know?
Me: What am I missing?
Maya: Don’t @sammycares
Sammy: Maya is secretly seeing someone. I caught her sneaking out of her room last night.
Oh, right, they live together. I totally forgot Maya moved in with Sammy after the incident.
Me: Is the offer of living with you still up? I can’t miss more gossip @sammycares @mayasreading
Sammy: Move in, right now, girl. It’s not the same without you.
Maya: We miss you.
Me: I’ll start packing.
I say knowing this is a good decision. The guys moved in together. So should we. Rian stood with me. But he probably wanted to go too.
“Kai can you tell someone to pack my things and deliver them to Sammy’s?” I ask and he nods. My parents listen and my mother gets up.
“Are you going to be ok?” my mother asks being overprotective.
“The house is one street away still in the condominium you can see me any time you want, plus Kai will stay with me,” I say and she puts a strand of my hair behind my ear, smiling and hugging me.
“Rian, are you staying?” my mom asks as soon as Rian comes back into the house.
“No way, someone needs to keep a close eye on Love-”
“On Dominik,” my father says and my mother elbows him.
“I’ll keep you updated, Cee,” he says referring to my dad, he’s literally the only soul who can call him that.
My father took Rian saving me from myself to the heart.
I was closing up. And Rian was the only one I let in.
The only one I let see my pain. He and sometimes Declan.
Yet he isn’t here anymore. And all the moments I ever had with him start to feel like a blur.
And for some reason him being erased from my life left me uneasy.
He might’ve been a prick, but he was Declan.
“I miss him too,” Rian says caressing my arm, I smile at him and go outside. Declan stood by my mother’s attacker’s side. Declan seemed like he was going to kill me. Yet I miss the idea of him. But that’s all it was, a messed-up mirage, from when I was drowning.
Grief is a strange emotion; it makes you want to be gone with them, yet at the same time keep living for them. Live the long, happy, successful life they wanted but never got to have for them.
And I’ll have it. But not for him. For the people I have now. For Dominik, for Rian, for Josh. The boys of my life. And for Sammy and Maya my forever sisters.
My phone buzzes.
Maya: What’s taking you so long? Sammy is bullying me into seeing a movie with her. I need reinforcements.
Me: On my way!
I respond to Maya and get out. I can feel the cold through my body, freezing me to the bones.
Dom: You look stunning, mind if I take a taste?
I look around and see Dominik at the end of the street. He looks like an ant. And I’m sure so do I.
Me: I look like an ant. Are you into fucking ants?
Dom: You said it, not me. Also only if it’s you. ;)
I walk his way with Kai following me from a distance. His house. The guy's house is on the other side of Sammy’s apartment street.
Dom: Also where did you get that dirty mouth? I wasn’t talking about fucking... yet.
Me: I got it from you, prick. My prick.
Dom: Your prick indeed, ma Vie.
I keep texting him until I’m close enough to talk.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?
” I ask him confused. Josh doesn’t trust many, more like any.
And he trusted the casino’s security to him.
Even after we almost died he trusted Dominik again, saying he couldn’t have done anything different.
And for him to say it, it’s because it’s true.
“Do you not want me here?” he asks his eyebrow raised. I get on my tiptoes and seal our lips. “You’re moving closer to me. Away from your father. Good news,” he admits and I punch his arm lightly, seeing a smirk erupt on his lips.
“Even if we were planets away he’d find a way to spy on us,” I say and he gets me inside his apartment. His tall, broad frame contrasts with my tiny lean one. “Where are you taking me?” I ask him as he walks me to the bottom of the stairs.
“Ready for some morning exercise?” he asks me and I shake my head laughing.
I start to walk up the stairs following him and I feel the thrill of the unknown.
Which I also classify as the thrill of Dominik.
I’m always eager to be around him, I’m always craving for his touch, affection, his rare, fragile moments where I peek inside his soul.
A soul I found to be much darker than I thought.
I’ve never seen the darkness in him because to me he’s always been the light.
Now that I look carefully I can see it. I can see it around others.
His uninterested eyes, his emotionless expression, his rigid body and formal posture.
It’s so unlike how he is with me. Which sometimes makes me wonder if I’m seeing the real him.
Or if he’s deceiving me. Yet every time he looks at me I just know.
In his clear green eyes, he couldn’t lie to me.
I’m seeing a side of him no one else gets to.
Not because he’s lying to them, but because he chose me to be his.
In every sense of the word. But especially to be his person.
The person he cares about the most, the only person he feels “genuinely comfortable around”. His words, not mine.
I smile at the thought. Remembering the very expression he had telling me that.
He was still recovering and we sneaked into the rooftop of the hospital to have some alone time.
It was one of the best nights. We didn’t talk much.
We just kissed, looked at each other and observed the world. Getting ready to face it now together.
“What are you smiling about?” he whispers and I wonder why he’s whispering before he nears the second-floor apartment’s door.
“You,” I reply and he grabs my hand before nearing what I assume to be the back door. “Where are we going?” I ask him and he shushes me with a kiss, when I try to talk again he brings his index finger to my lips.
“We’re almost there,” he whispers electricity erupts through my skin, from where he spoke to my entire body, including my still sore nipples.
Dominik opens the door and holding my hand, guides me to some stairs, they have two floors?
I’ve never been here and I can’t catch a clear glimpse of anything with Dominik pulling me while acting like a spy.
When we’re up the stairs and he opens one of the doors, I think it’s a new room, but there’s no bed. Just paintings. Paintings of me.
“What’s this?” I ask when he closes the door behind us.
“I told you, you didn’t know me, here’s part of me before you,” Dominik says and I look through the dozens of drawings, in charcoal, flawless representations of me in various scenarios. He managed to capture my essence and the feelings perfectly. I look at a corner with other types of drawings.
“Oh, don’t mind that, that’s my previous chaotic art,” he says and I look at it even more intently. There are several demon-looking figures. Dark hollow spaces. Killings. One figure always stands out. Someone in the midst of chaos, dancing around it. I bet that’s him. Dominik.
“You drew all of this? They’re achingly beautiful,” I say looking at the details of the demon figures. Apart from the dark charcoal the only other colour he draws in is red. His drawings are covered in red details.
“They’re the reason I got an art scholarship. And art is the reason I’m still here. It calms down my demons when all the yelling gets too loud,” he confides and I listen carefully not to miss a word.
“What’s this?” I ask looking at a painting of someone hanging in a bedroom. There’s red everywhere, and it’s by far the least detailed one.