Chapter 19
Love
Dominik held me the whole night, I only realised how hurt I actually was when I woke up in the morning, it hurt to sit straight.
So when I walked out of the room silently and fully clothed, I try to walk as normally as I possibly can.
But I feel mentally broken and physically sore.
I hold my phone tight and peek into the living room.
“Good morning, Love,” Damian says reading a journal. Who reads journals these days?
“Good morning, grandpa,” I say nodding in the journal’s direction.
“Tease all you want. Some people need and want to stay updated on real news,” Damian says and keeps reading, I head into the kitchen.
“And that’s why we have a security team chat,” I hear Dominik’s voice from behind me and involuntarily close my eyes delighted with his presence.
He’s getting under my skin and I don’t like how much he’s growing on me.
At this point he can be my salvation or my damnation.
And he’s the one who chooses which one to be, and that scares the hell out of me.
“No, that’s not why. You’re clearly not there often,” Damian says and I laugh.
“That bad?” I ask Damian and Dominik comes from behind me and kisses the curve of my neck, shivers go down my spine.
“You don’t want to know,” Damian whispers and keeps reading.
“Why did you sneak out?” Dominik asks hugging me from behind. It’s just the three of us out of the room for now.
“Didn’t want to wake you up, you barely sleep,” I say and seal our lips, I can’t cease the connection, Dominik is the one who stops the kiss.
“And I’ll sleep less if I know you’re sneaking god knows where-”
“You’re so dramatic, I’m in the kitchen, what could go wrong?” I ask him and I see he probably has a whole list of things that could happen lined up in his mischievous little mind.
“For starters, you could start reading journals and turn into Damian Jr. and we don’t want that,” he says and I hold in a chuckle, I won’t let him win. But it physically hurts not to laugh.
“Would that be so bad?” I tease and Dominik looks at me daring.
“So now you fancy Damian too, not just Aiden? Do I need to add names to the list? Perhaps Rian or Marcus?” Dominik asks and checks his phone for something, I just hope he’s not putting a target in all my friends’ heads.
“I fancy no one but you,” I say and tap the tip of his nose, before starting to make breakfast for both me, Dominik, and some extra if anyone else wants to grab a bite.
“You’re making breakfast? Someone is feeling better,” Josh says walking in.
Thud.
Better. I killed someone, they’re gone, it’s my fault, and I’m doing better.
“Shut the fuck up, Josh,” Rian says emerging from his and Marcus joint room, they were the last ones to pick so they got the spare one.
Thud.
“Don’t feel bad, the man had it coming, either way he’d be dead. You spared Josh additional blood on his hands,” Rian whispers in my ear and I hug him but quickly turn my attention back to the pancakes.
“Josh has enough blood on his hands already,” Maya says emerging from her and Sammy’s room. “Sammy escaped the room in the middle of the night. She says she didn’t but I did not imagine it,” Maya says scrunching her wet curly hair with her hands.
“What the hell is she even doing?” Marcus asks and Rian looks at Marcus, his eyes linger on him for a second, a second too long. I’m seeing something, but I will not comment on it until I’m alone with Rian.
“Curly hair routine dumbass, your straight hair would never understand,” Maya replies and Rian looks at Marcus concerned. I need to corner Rian, but how? The room is full, everyone would be dying to know what we’re talking if I just took him to one of the rooms.
“Are you still fighting today?” I ask Rian and he smiles.
“Do you even know me, Miss?” Rian asks and I laugh.
“I’ll go with you just let me eat something and not ruin everyone’s breakfast,” I say turning the pancakes that are now a bit too crusty, but they’re still edible.
“Who wants the crunchy pancakes?” I ask and the next hour I cook and everyone eats.
At the end there are three pancakes left, and Dominik forces me to eat something, even though I have zero interest in nutrition at this moment.
I eat one pancake and a half and sneak outside with Rian, Sammy and Maya, who are walking considerably behind us but with the wind they can’t hear us and I definitely can’t hear them.
“What’s up with you and Marcus?” I ask Rian when the wind is bone cutting.
“Is it that obvious?” Rian asks laughing and he actually blushes. Are they dating? I didn’t expect this. I was actually thinking maybe Marcus and Rian were playing, but Rian’s voice wasn’t it.
“No, I’m just particularly good at reading you.
It’s been years of reading your face and body movements to understand if you were losing yourself and not to let you do so,” I say instead of saying, not to let you relapse.
“But you’re not dodging the question, Marcus and you.
Are you dating? Yay or Nay?” I ask and Rian gets rosier, as red as he can get.
Rian is a pale person so it’s really noticeable.
“It’s not that serious. I don’t even know what to call it. Don’t tell anyone,” Rian requests his silver eyes cutting to most, always amicable to me. I love Rian, he’ll always be my boy. My brother from another mom.
“I won’t, my lips are sealed. You know I can keep a secret,” I tell him and he nods whispering "Thank you”.
“How did it start?” I ask Rian and he flinches.
“You don’t want to know believe me,” Rian says and I instinctively say “Oh, no”.
“Better or worse than Carlie Simons?” I question, Rian shakes his head.
“Oh better, it’s not that, it’s just, private. It’s new, I don’t want to get too attached,” Rian says and I laugh.
“Good luck, friend, been there,” I say and Sammy joins us.
“What the hell are you two talking about that is so juicy?” Sammy asks and Rian panics, thankfully, I got his back.
“Dominik and I yesterday, want the details?” I ask knowing damned well she doesn’t want them, and as expected, Sammy retreats her question by shaking her head.
By the time we get to the improvised ring, Marcus is already there, standing by a tree.
He’s watching Rian, he must be really obsessed, he usually doesn’t show up to things like this.
He’s a very reserved person. And so is Rian becoming, probably to protect Marcus.
I just hope for his own sake that he doesn’t hurt my best friend.
I’m standing on Rian’s side when I feel an arm around me, but it is not Dominik.
“Aiden, you seriously need to find someone,” I say pushing his arm away from me, Aiden frowns.
“I know, little spark, but everyone’s so dull,” Aiden says and tries to reapproach. I step aside.
“You. Me. Ring. Now,” Dominik says and orders Rian to get out of the way.
Out of the ring in this case. And Rian doesn’t mind because, he’s guaranteed he’s fighting next, and he loves seeing blood?
Did I already mention that? It is worth mentioning, blood is his deal, if I didn’t know better I’d say he’s a freaking vampire.
“What did I do?-,” Aiden asks but Damian pulls him inside the ring. I look away before they even look at each other, I don’t want them to kill one another. Not because of me. Or anything else to be honest.
When I look back I see Dominik is standing in his shorts, looking absolutely mesmerising.
His blond hair shining with the sun rays hitting him through openings between the tree leaves.
My gaze lingers for too long, on his abs and V line, and of course a smirk is back on his face when our eyes meet.
He winks and I turn away not wanting to see him bleeding, and Aiden badly injured.
“Love,” Sammy calls yet all I hear is the punching and chanting for both Dominik and Aiden. “Love,” Sammy calls again but I’m in a trance looking at a rock and imagining the scene from yesterday, as if the rock is the knife I carved on Dylan’s chest. I never miss.
“I never miss,” I whisper still in trance and leave the forest, or better walk through it alone, there’s still light but the forest looks intimidating, I quicken my pace. When I hear someone walk after me getting ever so closer, I run.
I run until I’m tackled to the ground.
“Shhhh, it’s me,” Rian’s voice comes from behind me, he’s currently standing on top of me, “Don’t flee,” Rian requests before helping me up, I think my ribs are bruised, they hurt from the impact on a considerable-sized rock.
Ironic. “Dominik is going to kill Aiden,” Maya screams from within the woods.
I run back in the ring’s direction, to see Damian and Josh holding Dominik who constantly gets free, and trapped again under Josh’s hold.
“Dom. Hey, Dominik,” I call and he doesn’t budge his eyes are gone, he’s gone. There’s no Dominik. “Don’t embrace the chaos,” I scream trying to get his attention. Dominik’s gaze doesn’t leave a bloody Aiden, even with me in front of him.
“Get her out of here, Rian,” Josh says when Dominik tries to pull me aside so he can get to Aiden.
“No, I got this,” I reply to my brother.
I come near Dominik, his breathing is off and he’s barely blinking, if he ever blinks.
“Dom!” I call once again and try to be gentle yet he pushes my hand away.
“Let go of him,” I tell Josh and Damian and they look at me like I’m insane.
But I have to stop him, it has to be me, or he won’t let Aiden leave the forest still breathing.
It’s like a predator, once he chooses his prey, he won’t let it go.
“Trust me,” I plead to Josh and he hesitantly lets Dominik go, Dominik tries to get past me and I pray to God I know what I’m doing.
I tackle him to the ground and he struggles to get out of my hold, but I let him, just to jump on his back and hold him in a rear neck choke.
“It’s me, Dom. It’s Love. You need to stop,” I whisper in his ear and I notice his muscles slightly start to relax. Am I killing him? Not possible, I’m not using that much strength.
“You embraced the chaos,” Dominik says lowering his back until my feet are on the ground.
“I’ll always embrace your chaos,” I whisper in his ear and don’t let go. “Promise you won’t kill my friends or I’m leaving you-”
“That’s not an option. You signed for no takebacks, no returns, no refunds.-”
“I don’t care what you think. If you kill any of my friends, the more it pains me we’re done,” I whisper so no one around us will hear it. “Aiden clearly understood the message,” I say loosening my grip slightly.
“Fine, Cherry, you win. I won’t hurt anyon- any of your friends,” Dominik says and I let go of him. “No one has ever brought me back from that state, sorry,” Dominik whispers and I know he means it.
“Will you make sure Aiden will be ok for me?” I ask Rian and he nods, I grab Dominik’s hand and move towards the apartment. Trying not to think that the blood in his hands is Aiden’s. The man who helped save my life once.
“Why are you so quiet?” Dominik asks caressing my hand even though he slightly flinches with every movement.
“I can’t have you hurting my friends Dominik, or killing everyone who even just glances my way. I can’t. I’ll go insane,” I tell him being honest. “I need you to give me your word this will stop,” I request when he tries to cup my face.
“You’re asking me to be someone else-”
“I’m asking you some decency and trust,” I say and tears stream down my face, “Dominik, I love you but-”
“I’ll make this simple, Love,” Dominik says and shakes me away from him. “Don’t worry I won’t hurt anyone”
“Where are you going?” I ask him confused, tears rolling down my face and soaking my jacket.
“You lost the right to have an answer,” Dominik screams and runs towards the security buildings, when I walk across the street towards the apartment I don’t feel his eyes on me, and that is more frightening than anything I ever felt.
It is downright a foreign feeling. I feel alone. For once, in two years and a half.
“Hey Sammy, can you get to the apartment?” I say when Sammy answers the call, knowing she’s the only one who’ll understand me. If she has anything with Josh, she’ll know exactly why I did what I did. And also why I feel awful about prioritising myself.
“I’ll be there in fifteen,” Sammy responds and I close the door behind me entering Sammy and Maya’s room not knowing if I’m welcome in my own… and Dominik’s.
Is it over? I dread the thought and push it aside by grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen and drowning myself in it, until I can barely see clearly.
“How much have you drunk?” Maya asks appearing through the door with Sammy behind her.
“I don’t know, I might’ve passed out a little,” I say and stumble when getting up.
“I need to get out of here, this place is infested with Dominik. He’s a freaking plague, worst, you don’t want to escape this one, you want to let it consume and eventually kill you,” I start rambling and I myself know I drank too much, especially when I step on puke on the way out of the room.
“You’re going nowhere like that,” Sammy says and tries to drag me back to bed but I almost smash the bottle against her and she lets me get out. “Anyone feel like pissing off Dominik Ricik?” I literally scream and then take another sip of the disgusting whiskey, I never liked alcohol.
“Enough outside world for you,” Rian says and I threaten him with the bottle.
“I’ll take that,” he says grabs the bottle and throws it flying to the front yard of the apartment complex.
“Come on, Miss, let’s get you home,” Rian says and I feel a certain look on me.
I look instinctively behind me. Dominik passes by me, emotionless, and enters the apartment.
“I’m not going in there,” I whisper-plead Rian not to make me.
“Fine, but you’re staying with me,” he says and takes me in his arms.
“I’m capable of walking,” I say and try to get back on my feet but my knees nearly give in, and then I’m scooped in the arms of someone taller. Not just someone, Dominik.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I ask him. He looks at me exactly like he looks at anyone else and I feel it, the strongest regret.
“What do you think I’m doing? Getting you to sleep,” Dominik says and I don’t try to protest, I’m sensing hostility and I’m not in mental shape for a fight.
I let him carry me and lay me down in bed. Dominik goes to his computer staying in the room. “Are we over?” I ask when I’m half asleep.
“Do you want us to be?” Dominik asks, or at least I think he does.
“I don’t,” I whisper my eyes too heavy to open, yet I do feel his eyes on me.
“Neither do I,” he says and I black out, but I’m pretty sure his eyes were still on me.