Epilogue - Chaos
One year and a half later.
My hands won't stop shaking.
I look around the living room. Our living room now, since she moved in with me six months ago when her lease ended. The space is transformed. Flowers everywhere. Roses on the coffee table. Lilies by the window. Carnations arranged in vases on every available surface.
It looks like a fucking flower shop exploded in here.
"Is that too much?" I ask Liam, who's sitting on the floor playing with his toy trucks. He's four now, talking in full sentences, and calling me "Daddy" instead of "bike man."
Daddy. Still makes my chest tight every time I hear it.
"Pretty!" Liam announces, not looking up from his trucks. "Mama likes pretty."
"Yeah, she does." I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans. "You remember what we practiced?"
"Uh-huh." He finally looks up at me, his hazel eyes sparkling with excitement. "I give Mama the ring!"
"That's right, little man." I crouch down beside him, pulling the small velvet box from my pocket and opening it.
The ring inside catches the light. It's not huge. I'm not made of money, but it's real. A simple gold band with a small diamond that Luna helped me pick out three weeks ago. She said Ruby would love it because it was thoughtful and classic and exactly her style.
I hope Luna was right. I hope I'm not about to make a complete ass of myself.
"Ring!" Liam reaches for it, and I quickly snap the box closed.
"Not yet, buddy. You give it to her when I tell you to, remember?"
"When you say the special words," Liam recites dutifully.
"Exactly." I ruffle his ginger hair. "You're a smart kid, you know that?"
He beams at me, and fuck, I love this kid. I love him like he's my own blood. I'd die for him without hesitation. Same way I'd die for Ruby.
Actually, I'd rather live for them. Which is why I'm doing this terrifying thing called proposing.
The sound of a car door slamming outside makes my heart jump into my throat. I shove the ring box back into my pocket and stand, trying to look casual and probably failing miserably.
"She's home," I tell Liam. "Remember, act normal until—"
The front door opens and Ruby walks in, one hand resting on her small but noticeable baby bump. Four months pregnant and already glowing. She's wearing one of those flowy dresses she loves, her short ginger hair tucked behind her ears, freckles standing out against her pale skin.
She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
"What in the world?" She stops in the doorway, her eyes wide as she takes in the explosion of flowers. "Chaos, what did you do?"
"Mama!" Liam jumps up and runs to her. "Daddy brought flowers!"
She scoops him up despite the baby bump, settling him on her hip. "I can see that, baby. There must be a hundred flowers in here."
"One hundred and twenty-three," I correct, my voice coming out shakier than I intended. "I counted."
Ruby looks at me, confusion and curiosity mixing in her expression. "What's the occasion? Did I forget something? It's not my birthday, and we already celebrated our anniversary—"
"You didn't forget anything." I take a step toward her. "I just... wanted to do something special."
She sets Liam down, her hand immediately going to her belly in that lovely gesture I've seen a thousand times since we found out she was pregnant.
"Chaos." Ruby moves further into the room, touching the petals of a nearby rose. "These must have cost a fortune. We're saving for the baby—"
"I know. I budgeted for it." I did. I've been saving for months specifically for this moment. For these flowers and this ring and this night. "Just... sit down. Please."
She looks suspicious now, but she lowers herself onto the couch. The same couch where we've spent countless nights cuddling while watching movies. Where we told Liam he was going to be a big brother and he'd screamed with excitement.
So many memories in this room. And tonight, we're making another one.
I hope.
"Are you okay?" Ruby asks, concern creeping into her voice. "You're acting weird."
"I'm fine. I'm good. I'm—" I take a deep breath. "I'm nervous as fuck, actually."
"Why are you nervous?" She tilts her head, studying me. "Chaos, you're scaring me."
"Don't be scared." I crouch down in front of her, taking her hands in mine. They're small and not too soft, the hands of a woman who's worked hard her whole life to survive and protect her kid.
Our kid now. Liam's legally mine. We finalized the adoption six months ago after Marcus signed away his rights. Best day of my life.
"Ruby." I clear my throat. "You know I've never been good with words. I'm better with my fists than with talking about feelings."
"I know." A small smile tugs at her lips. "But you've gotten better."
"Because of you." I squeeze her hands. "You made me better. You and Liam. Before I met you, I was just... existing. Going through the motions. Fighting and surviving and not really living."
"Chaos—"
"Let me finish." I take another breath. "Then you showed up next door with this kid on your hip and your asshole ex on your porch, and everything changed. You were so brave. So fierce. And I knew. I fucking knew from that first day that you were special."
Tears start forming in Ruby's eyes. "You're going to make me cry."
"Good tears, I hope." I reach into my pocket with one hand, the other still holding hers. "Because I'm about to ask you something, and I really hope you say yes."
Her eyes widen. "Chaos..."
"I love you, Ruby Watson. I love your strength and your kindness and the way you make grilled cheese taste like the best meal in the world.
I love how you take care of everyone around you.
How you never gave up on Liam even when everyone else did.
How you gave me a chance when you had every reason not to trust another man. "
The tears are falling freely now, but she's smiling. "I love you too."
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
" I pull out the ring box and open it. "I want to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep holding you every night. I want to raise Liam together and meet our child when they’re born.
I want to protect you and cherish you and annoy you with my overprotective bullshit until we're old and gray. "
Ruby laughs through her tears. "You do have overprotective bullshit."
"I know. You knew what you were getting into." I look at Liam, who's been waiting patiently. "Little man, come here."
Liam scrambles over, and I hand him the ring box. He holds it like it's made of glass, his little face serious with concentration.
Ruby's hand flies to her mouth. "Oh my God."
"Ruby Watson," I say, my voice shaking now. "Will you marry me?"
For a second, she doesn't answer. Just stares at me with those hazel eyes swimming in tears. And panic starts creeping in because what if she says no? What if she's not ready? What if—
"Yes." The word comes out as a sob. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"
Relief crashes through me so hard I almost fall over. "Yeah?"
"Yes!" She's laughing and crying at the same time. "Of course yes, you idiot! I've been waiting for you to ask for months!"
"You have?"
"Everyone has!" She gestures around. "Luna kept hinting. Amelia straight-up asked me when you were going to propose. Even Mrs. Henderson said something last week about how 'that young man of yours better make an honest woman of you soon.'"
I laugh, the sound shaky with emotion. "I wanted it to be perfect. Wanted to wait until I got my patch, which I did last month, thank fuck. Wanted to make sure we were stable and settled and—"
"And you were overthinking it," Ruby interrupts, cupping my face in her hands. "Just like you're overthinking this moment right now. Yes, Chaos. I'll marry you. I want to be your wife."
Wife. Holy shit. Ruby's going to be my wife.
"Ring!" Liam announces, shoving the box toward Ruby. "Give Mama the ring!"
Ruby takes the box with shaking hands and looks at the ring. Fresh tears spill down her cheeks. "It's beautiful."
"You like it?" I'm still nervous. Still terrified she'll change her mind.
"I love it." She pulls the ring out and hands it to me. "Put it on me?"
I take her left hand and slide the ring onto her finger. It fits perfectly, thank God, because I had to guess her size. She holds her hand up, admiring how the diamond catches the light.
"I can't believe I'm engaged," she whispers.
"Believe it." I pull her forward and kiss her, gentle and sweet. "You're stuck with me now."
"Good." She kisses me back. "Because I'm not going anywhere."
Liam makes a disgusted sound. "Yucky! Kissing is yucky!"
We break apart, both laughing. Ruby pulls Liam into her lap, or as much as she can with the baby bump in the way.
"Kissing won't be yucky when you're older," she tells him.
"Nuh-uh." He shakes his head firmly. "Always yucky."
"We'll see about that," I say, ruffling his hair. "Give it fifteen years."
Ruby leans against me, her head on my shoulder, Liam in her lap. We sit there surrounded by flowers, and I feel something I never thought I'd feel.
Complete peace.
I spent my whole life thinking I was broken. That the sick kid I used to be, the angry young man I became, the violent biker I turned into, that was all I'd ever be. That I wasn't capable of love or family or any of the soft things other people seemed to have naturally.
But Ruby proved me wrong. She saw past the violence and the anger to the man underneath who just wanted to belong somewhere. Who wanted to protect something worth protecting. Who wanted to love and be loved in return.
"What are you thinking about?" Ruby asks softly.
"How lucky I am." I kiss the top of her head. "How I don't deserve you, but I'm keeping you anyway."
"You do deserve me." She tilts her face up to look at me. "You deserve all of this. Happiness, family, love. You've earned it, Chaos."
"When we get married, I want you to call me Tommy more times than Chaos. Not all the time. I'm still Chaos to the club. But when it's just us... I want to hear my name from your lips. Over and over again."
Her eyes soften. "I like it. The man behind the road name. The part of you only I get to see every single day."
"Yeah." I pull her closer. "That's who I am with you. Just Tommy. Just a guy who loves his family."
"Our family," she corrects. "We built this together."
She's right. We did build this together. From that first chaotic meeting on her porch to now: engaged, expecting a baby, raising Liam together. Every step of the way, we've been a team.
"When do you want to get married?" I ask.
"Soon." She grins. "Before I get too pregnant to fit into a wedding dress."
"You'd look beautiful in anything. Even a garbage bag."
She laughs. "Smooth talker."
"Only for you, baby."
Liam squirms out of her lap and runs back to his trucks. Ruby shifts to get more comfortable, her hand resting on her bump.
"She's kicking," she says, taking my hand and placing it where I can feel the tiny flutter of movement.
Our daughter. Our little girl who's going to have Ruby's ginger hair and stubborn streak and hopefully my ability to throw a punch if she ever needs it.
"She's strong," I murmur, feeling another kick. "Just like her mama."
"She's going to be spoiled rotten," Ruby says. "Between you, Liam, and all the bikers who've already claimed uncle status... this poor girl won't stand a chance."
"Damn right she'll be spoiled." I don't even try to deny it. "She's going to be a princess. Our little princess."
We sit there as the sun sets outside, painting the living room in shades of gold and orange. The flowers I bought glow in the light, and for once in my life, everything feels right.
I never thought I'd have this. A family. A home. A woman who loves me despite all my sharp edges and violent tendencies.
But here we are. And I'm never letting it go.
"I love you," I tell Ruby. "Both of you. All three of you, actually." I pat Liam's head as he drives a truck past us.
"We love you too, Tommy." Ruby kisses me softly. "Forever."
Forever. That word used to terrify me. Used to seem impossible. How could anything last forever? But looking at Ruby with my ring on her finger and our baby growing inside her and Liam playing happily at our feet, forever doesn't seem long enough.
I want forever and then some.
And with Ruby by my side, I actually believe I'll get it.
Thank you for reading it!