Chaos
We’d been at the hospital, in the ER waiting room, for over an hour.
Bianca was a mess. The rest of us weren’t too far behind her.
Someone called Wrath and told him what happened.
He sent a message to the entire club to alert them.
The waiting room and outside were filled with the club.
We sure garnered a lot of attention, nervous attention, from the other people waiting and the staff.
When we arrived, I took Bianca to the desk to let them know who she was so someone would come to get us once Mishap was stable.
She paced more than she sat. She’d asked Stitch questions, which he answered as best he could. I tried to give her strength by being next to her, and when she needed to be held, I did.
We were over along the wall, just counting the minutes when the door to the treatment area swung open.
Out came two staff members. One called out another person’s name, and two people stood and went to the guy who spoke.
The other, a woman, came over to us. She was rather wide-eyed, but she gave Bianca a tiny smile.
“I believe you’re here for Rawley Harris, correct?”
“Yes, I am his cousin. I’m all the family he has here.” Bianca said hurriedly.
“If you will come with me, you can come sit with him. The doctor will be in to see you and him as soon as they finish receiving all the test results. He’s awake, though groggy.”
“Can Chaos come with me? He’s my boyfriend and Rawley’s friend.”
“Yes, but no more than two at a time. And try to keep things calm.”
Without another word, we followed her. I nodded to Wrath, so he’d know I’d keep him and the others updated. He gave me a two-finger salute.
Curtains surrounded the cubicle the nurse took us to.
She parted them and gestured for us to enter.
At first sight of Mishap, I faltered. He was pale and drawn, as if he’d shrunk.
He had oxygen prongs in his nose. Wires came out of his gown, leading to something under the covers.
There was a machine making the beeping sounds your heart makes when it’s being monitored.
And there were two IVs in his arms, one in each arm.
“Hey,” he said in a weak, croaky voice.
“Hey, yourself. What the hell were you thinking? Scaring me to death like that?” Bianca asked as she went to his side and took his hand. I saw him squeeze them, then let go.
“Believe me, it wasn’t intentional. I don’t remember much. What was I saying or doing before I had the seizure?” he asked.
Bianca glanced over at me, then back at him.
“Tell us what you remember, and we’ll fill in the rest,” I said.
“The last I recall is riding back to the clubhouse. I parked out in front and went inside to see who was there. Then I woke up here.”
“That’s all? You don’t remember coming over to me. Saying things to me?” Bianca asked.
He shook his head. “What kind of things?”
“You’re seriously saying you don’t remember what you said to her?” I asked in disbelief.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. Why? What did I say?” Mishap asked, frowning.
His heart monitor sped up.
“We can talk about it later—no need to go into it right now. I want to ask you something,” Bianca rushed to redirect him.
“What?” he asked slowly.
“I noticed before you collapsed and had the seizure that you rubbed your head up here.” She pointed. “I’ve seen you do it recently more than a couple of times. Are you having headaches? If so, when did they start?”
“Yeah, I’ve been getting killer ones. They make me sick, and my eyes go wonky. My head, when it happens, feels like it’s gonna explode and everything gets intense, and all I want to do is scream,” Mishap admitted.
“Have you had any other problems? Did you tell the doctor here all that?” I asked.
Mishap hesitated, glanced down at his sheet-covered legs, then met my gaze. “I’ve been losing time, you know, like I black out and then I come to myself and I have no idea how I got to where I am.” His voice was so low it was hard to hear him.
“Blackouts? Are you drinking to excess?” I asked.
“No, not any more than usual. Well, a bit more, but it’s the only thing that helps with the headaches. But it isn’t to blackout level. I’ve been way drunker and never did that,” he protested.
“Why didn’t you say something to someone?” Bianca asked him. She frowned.
“Because I didn’t want to give the club an excuse to kick me out. I’ve been a patched member for less than a year. I can’t lose my spot,” Mishap stated.
“Your behavior toward your cousin and me is way more likely to cause that than you admitting to blackouts. If they’re not due to too much alcohol, then you needed to have them checked out,” I told him.
“My behavior toward you? What’re you talking about?”
“Stop pretending you don’t remember bringing Byron to see her twice or getting mean with her, saying things you shouldn’t and claiming that she needed to go back to him and that I wasn’t the man for her.
How I would cheat on her,” I snapped, though I tried to remember what the nurse said about keeping him calm.
His heartbeat increased again. He tried to lean forward. His expression was one of horror.
“I did what!?” he barked.
“Let’s all calm down. We’ll talk about this later,” Bianca said anxiously.
“No, I need to hear this. Tell me,” Mishap demanded.
Thinking that refusing would only make him more distressed, I told him swiftly. When I was through, he was sickly pale. His eyes were wide and filled with tears. He looked at Bianca.
“B, I swear on my soul and the club that I don’t recall saying or doing any of those things. I don’t. But if you both say I did, then it has to be true. You wouldn’t lie to me. I’m so goddamn sorry, so sorry for the pain and problems I caused you and Chaos.
“I don’t know what would make me say or do those things.
You know I love you, Bianca. And Chaos, you and I have always gotten along.
We’re brothers. And I know that if you promised a woman a full relationship, you’d stick to it.
And never once have I wanted you back with Byron.
I detest that fucker with a passion. I’d rather see him rot.
And if Cecily left him, or he left her, he deserves to live the rest of his life alone and miserable. ”
His voice rang with sincerity. Before we could say anything more, the curtain opened, and in walked the nurse who showed us back and an older, unsmiling man. He carried a tablet and wore a white lab coat. He looked down at the tablet, then back up.
“Mr. Harris, I’m Dr. Curtis. I have your test results, and I’d like to go over them with you. First, though, would you like your visitors to leave?” he asked.
“No, I’d like them to stay. She’s my cousin.”
“Okay, well, first, I want to ask you a few questions. Have you had vision changes, balance issues, headaches, or moments of not remembering where you’ve been or what you’ve done?”
Astonishment came over Mishap’s face. “Yeah, all those. Why? What’s wrong with me? They said I had a seizure, but I’ve never had one in my life, Doc.”
“Mr. Harris, those things happened for a reason. Our scans show a mass in your brain. It’s pressing on vital areas of the brain, what we call the hippocampus and amygdala, which make up the limbic system in the temporal lobe.
The amygdala is your emotional center, triggering emotional responses.
The hippocampus is where short-term memories become long-term memories.
It, along with the amygdala, attaches meaning to your memories.
It’s how you and I learn from past experiences.
The pressure from the mass is causing your symptoms and may have led to the seizure you experienced,” Dr. Curtis explained carefully.
Total silence descended after the doctor’s announcement. I heard Bianca gasp. Then she leaned into me more. Mishap turned gray.
“Doctor, would this mass have him lashing out and saying things that he normally wouldn’t mean or say? Or act like a totally different person and forget what he said and did?” I asked.
“Absolutely, and he would have severe headaches, even blackouts and seizures, though we want to run more tests to make sure of the cause of the seizures.”
“So, I have a brain tumor? I’m gonna die?” Mishap asked hoarsely. His hands shook, and I noticed the terror in his expression.
“It’s a tumor. However, we have no way of knowing if it’s malignant until it’s removed.
I have a surgeon who is an oncologist, too, who specializes in brain tumors, coming in to look at the scans and to evaluate you.
Regardless of whether it’s benign, he’s the best person to decide the appropriate course of action.
There is a very good chance he can remove it.
You’re young and healthy, which are positives in your favor.
I urge you not to jump straight to the worst possible outcome.
Wait. Speak to Dr. Norman, then with your cousin and the rest of your family.
Once you have all the facts, then you can make an informed decision.
We’ll be admitting you for observation and ongoing testing, so as soon as they get you a bed upstairs, you’ll be transferred. ”
Bianca was fighting back tears. Mishap was doing the same. Neither was able to speak, so I did.
“Thank you, Dr. Curtis. We appreciate you telling us. We look forward to meeting Dr. Norman shortly.”
The doctor nodded and patted Mishap on the arm, then left with the nurse.
“Christ, I might die, B. I have a fucking brain tumor,” Mishap whispered.
That was what made them both break down and cry. She sobbed and laid her head on his chest. He let his tears stream silently down his cheeks as he patted her back, trying to comfort her even though his world was exploding.
I knew they said two people at a time, but I had to talk to Wrath, and I wasn’t leaving these two alone. I took out my phone and texted.
Me: Wrath, need you back here ASAP.
Wrath: Coming.
I wondered if they’d forbid him, but if they did, they’d find out why he was called Wrath. With our entire club in the building, there was no way hospital security would kick him or us out. I heard Wrath’s voice coming mere moments later. I smiled.
“I don’t give a damn what your policy says. My brothers need me. Now, are you showing me where Rawley Harris is, or do I find him myself?” he growled.
The sound of footsteps approaching rapidly told me they saw the wisdom in showing him. I stepped outside the curtain. His gaze met mine. Pres stopped next to me.
“You can go,” he told the orderly who had been with him. The man scurried away as if the devil had freed him.
“What’s up, Chaos?” Wrath asked. He kept his voice low, but I heard the worry in it.
“They know what’s wrong, or at least they found something. The doctor says they’ll look into the cause of his seizure more because it might be due to something else.”
“So, what have they found?” he asked when I paused to take a breath.
“He has a brain tumor, Pres. And it’s caused not only his behavioral changes, but he admitted he’s been having blinding headaches and blackouts. He was afraid to say anything because he thought it would get him kicked out. He doesn’t recall the shit he’s said or done either.”
Wrath stood there, stunned. He said nothing for several seconds. When he broke it, he asked, “What does the doctor say his prognosis is? Can they remove it?”
I repeated what Dr. Curtis told us. When I was finished, he blew out a deep, ragged breath.
“Let me see him, then I’ll go tell the others. We’ll have someone here with him twenty-four seven. Anything they need, Bianca or he gets. We’re not letting him die. He can’t. I haven’t given him permission,” he growled.
I watched as Wrath marched into the cubicle to tell Mishap that. It made me almost smile. Wrath was determined to face down death if he had to, to keep a brother alive. That was what a biker family was all about in our club.