Chapter 1
HAWK
Five missed calls from Eagle, all from last night. A few from Robin this morning.
A bunch of texts from Eagle, too.
Asking for help.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
The last one just says I’m coming over.
The doorbell last night. That was Eagle.
He needed my help, and I ignored him.
But I was with Daniela… I couldn’t just leave—
Then my phone buzzes.
It’s Robin.
“Robbie?” I say.
“Damn, Hawk, I’ve been trying to get you for over an hour.”
“What is it?”
“It’s Eagle,” she says. “Something triggered him. Fuck, he’s been clean for so long.”
My heart sinks. He’s relapsed. And I wasn’t there to cover for him this time, so the whole family is going to know.
It’s going to kill Mom.
And again I need to pick up the pieces.
“Where is he?” I ask. “I… I know where I can take him to get him help. It’s…not the first time this has happened.”
“What the hell do you mean? Eagle hasn’t relapsed, Hawk. He’s in the hospital,” Robin says. “He OD’d. And it’s bad, Hawk. It’s bad.”
A wave of terror seizes me and wraps around my heart like a boa constrictor. My breath is shallow, my pulse erratic.
“What?” The word comes out as a choked whisper, barely audible, even to me.
“OD’d, Hawk. Overdosed.” Robin’s words are hard and cold.
I feel numb. Shocked. Denial creeps in.
No, that can’t be. Eagle would never OD. Relapse, maybe, but…
Except not denial.
All this time, I knew he wasn’t keeping clean. I hid his problems from the rest of the family. He asked me to, and I did it.
And last night?
Last night I wasn’t there for him when he needed me.
I sit down hard on the couch, the phone slipping from my hand.
I grab it and place it back against my ear.
“Hawk? Are you there?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m here.”
“We’re waiting to hear about his prognosis. We don’t know much yet.”
“What hospital?” I ask.
She rattles off the name. I add it to the computer in my brain. The eternal to-do list that’s always there.
“Where Dad is,” I say, more to myself than to my sister.
“Yeah. We haven’t told Dad yet.”
I gulp. “I’m on my way.”
“Good. Looks like Falcon and Savannah just arrived. Mom’s been here with me all night.”
“Vinnie and Raven?” I ask.
“They just got here, too. They went out for some breakfast.”
Fuck.
I feel like the lowest scum on earth.
My brother was crying out for help last night…and I was too busy fucking Daniela.
Everyone answered their phone.
Everyone except for me.
Silence fills the line. My mind is a whirl of thoughts. Eagle in the hospital. Dad in the hospital. Our family falling apart, one tragedy after another. I swallow hard, try to push past the lump in my throat.
“I’ll be there soon,” I tell Robin.
I want—need—to say so much more, but the words are stuck.
“Okay,” Robin says, her voice barely a whisper. “Just hurry, Hawk.”
I hang up and sit for a moment, staring blankly at the coffee table. The weight of my brother’s condition, the guilt, the worry—it all presses down on me until I feel like I can’t breathe.
But I fight it off. Now is not the time for self-pity. I have to keep it together—for Eagle, for Mom, for Dad.
And for Daniela.
Time to take her home.
After the greatest night of my life.
Which may have just turned into the worst.