Chapter Two
Ilearned that I was a traitor.
I’d turned my back on my friends and did a horrible thing to my best friend. But they assured me everything I did was to help them. Learning I was partly to blame for so many deaths was too much to handle. I couldn’t believe them.
I refuse to believe them.
Andrew took me back to my apartment and helped me find a menu so I could call for a pizza delivery.
I’ll admit, I was hesitant to try it, but if pizza wasn’t the best thing I’d ever had, I didn’t know what was.
I went to bed with a full belly and tried to rest, even though my brain was spiraling.
The person I felt I was and my past actions seemed incredibly disconnected, and it made me angry.
Luckily, I was knocked out as soon as my head hit the pillow and was able to escape all my problems for the night.
The insane ding-dong going off from my living room made me sprint out of bed in such a hurry that I fell face-first. I got up and my forehead throbbed with pain.
Whoever this was, if they rang the bell one more time, I swear I’d break their teeth.
I had enough pent-up anger from the hospital monitor that I wouldn’t put it past me.
I opened the door, yawning. “Yes?”
“Alexa Ryan?”
I nodded to the redhead dressed in a white skirt suit. “Can I help you?”
“I’m Agent Pine’s partner. He sent me to check on you.”
That was odd. He said he’d stop by in the afternoon, so why send someone now?
I felt an immediate aversion to her. I couldn’t explain it.
Maybe it was her incessant bell-ringing, but I didn’t feel comfortable letting her inside the apartment.
The pins racing up my spine urged me to shut the door in her face, but of course, I couldn’t do that. “Where’s Agent Pine?”
“He couldn’t make it.” The side of her mouth curled up.
Was she trying to smile? Because her expression reminded me more of a puppy snarling than anything else. “He didn’t mention a partner.”
“I’m Ava. Ava Park. How are you holding up?”
“I don’t . . . know? I’ve been sleeping most of the time.”
“You look it.” She tried to look past me into the apartment. “Do you need anything? Are your memories coming back? Do you have anything new to tell us?”
“No, no, and no.”
“Are you sure?”
“I don’t even know what kind of coffee I like, so yes, I’m sure. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m not feeling well. I’d like to go back to bed.”
I went to shut the door, but she stuck her foot inside and stopped me from closing it. “Your health chart says you’re in perfect shape.”
“Mentally, I’m not.”
“Hmm, that’s actually worse since you’re not . . . like the rest of us.” She crinkled her nose. “I keep suggesting we lock you up so you can’t hurt normal people, but they won’t listen.”
“You can’t send me to jail without reason.”
“Not jail, honey. A special facility. It’s hardly responsible to allow you Luminaries to run around unmonitored, isn’t it?”
“From now on, I only deal with Agent Pine.” I shoved her foot out of the frame with my own, then threw the door shut.
I went back to my bedroom only to find Kevin propped up against my pillows, looking entirely too relaxed. I would’ve screamed if I wasn’t already feeling an urge to punch something.
“When did you get here?”
“Andrew dropped me off long enough ago to hear most of that.”
“That lady infuriated me. And I can’t explain it. I don’t know why!”
He nodded. “You okay?”
“I’m really pissed off.”
“Come on, let’s go to the kitchen. I can’t in good faith allow you to live with the mystery of how you take your coffee.”
“Umm. I need to brush my teeth.”
He walked toward the door. “You do that and I’ll go make it.”
I came back out to find him on my small, gray sectional sofa. He sat there watching TV and looking extremely comfortable. I wondered if I enjoyed TV, as I reluctantly tried a sip of the coffee thing.
“Oh, this is good.” I looked up at Kevin.
“Yep. And lucky for you, I know how you like it.”
“I bet I drink this a lot.”
He laughed. “You’re a caffeine addict. If you’d hated it, we probably wouldn’t be friends.”
I didn’t know what to talk about, so I drank it in silence.
After a lot of fidgeting, he asked, “Are you okay with me here?”
“Well, I don’t really know you, but it looks like you feel at home.” I stared at him. Why was that? “You say we’re just friends, but you’re so comfortable here, it feels too intimate. Have we slept together?”
“Yup.” He laughed. “Just sleep, though.”
“Okay . . . so we’re not lovers.” I took a sip. “Stop laughing!”
“Calm down, Ry. It’s only funny ’cause you’re talking about sex, that’s all.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“You’re . . . well, you’re basically a prude. You never talk about sex, and you’ve never been with anyone.”
“How do you know that?” I frowned. “Maybe I didn’t tell you.”
He tilted his head for a few seconds, then shook it. “Nah. I’d bet my life on it.”
I didn’t even have ex-boyfriends. Kevin assured me his man-whoring lifestyle served as my personal chastity belt. Basically, as my friend, he ruined my love life by making me feel guys were not to be trusted. I was strangely fascinated by my dating life, considering it had been non-existent before.
I felt like something was off, though. As I looked at Kevin, I was convinced I just hadn’t told him about my own adventures. It was unnerving how sure of himself he was, but also kind of adorable. Yes, I was sure I had my own secrets. I only wish I knew them myself.
“I can’t believe I was such a traitor. All the things I did. I— I don’t know. How do you not hate me?” I pulled my knees to my chest, hugging them, and leaned back on the couch.
“Sounds worse than it is.” He sighed. “You’re no traitor.”
“Say that all you want. I don’t know how to begin wrapping my head around it. Help me run through it. I have to say it out loud, I think?”
“Go for it.”
“First, I joined the Org where the original Luminaries worked—the good guys, the real-life superheroes making the world a better place. For absolutely no recognition. All anonymous. Simply because it was the right thing to do.
“My mother, Paddie, sent me to infiltrate when I was young. She was part of the rebel group, trying to take you down. For money, world domination, whatever. All because some scientists altered our DNA while we were still in the womb, gave us superpowers, and split. They became the rebels, and we became Luminaries who worked officially with the government. Good so far?”
“Yep.”
“As I was trained to use my powers, we became friends. Well, family, more like it. But I still did what I was sent to do. I stabbed you all in the back and stripped you of your powers, even though you were my best friend.”
Kevin tilted his head. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“I just don’t get it.” I stood, unable to sit still. “How can you be sure I switched sides? That I wasn’t just following their orders?”
“If it wasn’t for what you did to me, we’d all be dead,” he said. “They attacked our building but used special fluorescent lighting that paralyzed everyone with powers. Then they left while we were all frozen to set off the explosion.”
“And because you weren’t affected, you were able to get out and save your family?”
He looked away. “I only had enough time to save them because we were together. And because Andrew used his portal. Everyone else . . . umm, Jesus Christ! I barely had a minute.” He buried his head in his hands. “No one else working that day survived.”
“How did they not notice you weren’t affected like the rest of the Luminaries?”
“When you were dying . . . uh—when I thought you were dying, the last thing you did was warn me to act frozen.”
I guess I did save them after all. There was still so much I didn’t understand, but for now, this was good enough. “Oh!”
“Jesus. All of them who were in that day . . . they’re just . . . gone,” he said in a whisper.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I am too.” Kevin seemed like he needed a friend more than I needed answers. I was compelled to wrap my arms around him and offer comfort, but it was too strange. Instead, I sat down next to him.
“Do you miss your powers?” I asked.
A puff escaped him as he nodded. “I feel like I lost a limb, to be honest.”
“I know I keep saying it, but I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It saved our lives, Ryan.”
“My name is Alexa. Looks like I can’t get anyone to stop calling me Ryan, though.”
He smiled. “You always complained it was too girly for you. You preferred Ryan.”
“Really? I like Alexa. It’s nice.” I shrugged. “I guess I’m a new me now.”
He nodded. “You are. You know, I can’t believe we were in the same hospital at the same time. I vaguely remember a nurse mentioning an Alexa coming out of a coma, but I was heavily sedated myself . . . and I never think of that being your name. I could have been there for you when you woke up.”
“I probably would have still punched you,” I said, and we both laughed.
“Thank goodness for Jenny healing me. I think I heard a crunch when it broke.”
“I didn’t break it! Your nose was just swollen.”
“And bloody.”
“Yes, that too.” I nodded. “Hey, help me out here. I don’t know what to do. If they think I’m a suspect, should I run or stay put?”
“You stay put. You didn’t do it. We have no way to prove your innocence, but they have no evidence against you, either.”
“Should I let Nick help me recover my memory?” I was really nervous about having someone poking around in my head, especially when I didn’t know what was in there. Also, these power things were scary.
“I’d do it, but it’s not strange for me since he’s my brother. I trust him. You don’t remember us, so it’s hard. The doctor said it might all come back to you, and you’re recovering quickly, so wait a bit.”
“I hope it comes back on its own.”
“If not, at least you’ll have time to be okay with Nick hypnotizing you.”
“As my best friend, shouldn’t you want me to do it? So I remember everything?”
“Yes, but, um, in the interest of keeping our relationship at peace, I’d rather you wait as long as possible. But that’s me being a coward.”
“Are we not okay?”
Kevin looked at me and sighed.
The sadness in his eyes reached me and I felt like crying. “Wow, I can feel that. It’s strange, but I can tell it’s your emotions I’m feeling.”
“It’s the sensor in you.”
“What happened to us? Is it because of your powers?”
“Actually, no. That . . . we never had time to discuss that. We had too much going on with us. You were a mole, and my girlfriend pulled us apart, but mostly I was an asshole to you.”
“You don’t seem like an asshole.” I studied him. “Well, maybe a tiny bit.”
He gave me half a smile. “The fact that I’m being selfish right now should be proof. But I like that you’re not looking at me like I’m a scumbag.”
“What did you do?”
“I hurt you. It’s best not to talk about it yet. If it’s okay, I’d rather live in this bliss for a bit longer.”
“I don’t understand how you could hurt me if you care as much as you say.”
“Too many factors, Ryan. I’m embarrassed and I think you’ll be too. I just want you to know that I’m sorry about the way I handled things. I hope you forgive me.”
“It sounds like we’re both backstabbers.”
He sighed. “A couple times over. But nothing changes the fact that even if we’re the ones stabbing them, we’ll always have each other’s back when it matters. I promise you that. Please let that be good enough for now.”
“It is.”