Chapter 7 Everett
SEVEN
EVERETT
Iget out of the shower and wring out my hair with the towel while “DOPAMINE” by Kami Kehoe echoes off my bathroom walls. Then I run the soft material over my chest and stomach. When I get to my legs, I pause with my fingers hovering over my pussy.
I’ve never touched myself sexually, but the urge to do it is strong. It can only be for one reason—Kashton. I saw him standing in the parking lot when I left the motel. A part of me wanted him to burst into the room and watch me kill that guy.
It turned me on just like it did on the Isabella…when he fingered me while the man he killed lay on the floor. I’ve been able to push it to the back of my mind because of how disgusted I was with myself for letting him get me off that night.
Now, here he is again, making me feel things, and he hasn’t even spoken directly to me. I need to make sure I don’t let him get close.
I won’t be the woman they tried to train me to be. I have an entire box full of things taped shut in my closet that reminds me of who I once was, and it makes me physically ill to even think about opening it. The part of me that begged to be used.
I was in a dark place for a very long time, but I pulled myself out of that.
Dropping the towel, I place my hands on the counter and bow my head. Closing my eyes, I count to ten slowly while I take deep breaths. My pussy is wet, and my clit throbs with need.
“No,” I say out loud, as if that word matters. It doesn’t.
People are taken advantage of every day.
Words are just that. You hear things like She was asking for it with the way she dressed, and She shouldn’t have been showing it off, or the insane She never said no.
Meanwhile, the woman was far too intoxicated to consent or too young to know what consent was.
If the Lords had their way, they would only produce men. The women would be locked in cages and only used for sex. I don’t think some of them do it to get off. It’s just the fact that they can hold you down and listen to you scream.
It’s all about power. The ones with the dicks get to control everything.
My virginity was taken when I was just fourteen by multiple men. Drugs were involved, but I didn’t willingly take them. No. Over the course of several hours, I was forced to become a woman.
If I’m being honest with myself, I’d say I’m glad they drugged me because I don’t remember much of it. Just the foggy pieces that float in the back of my mind.
The aftermath hit me the hardest, when the drugs wore off and I found myself sitting on the shower floor crying. Even if my body didn’t have a chance at fighting the drugs, I still hated myself. I cried so hard that I ended up making myself sick.
What once made me break, I’m now numb to. I’m not sure if that’s a flex or a sign that I need help. Either way, it’s a part of my life that I’ve spent years trying to block out.
It’s a reminder that I’ll never be her again. I’ve come too far to allow someone to make me feel helpless. Especially some Spade brother who wants to prove to himself he can have whatever he wants.
Lifting my head, I meet my stare in the mirror. No. I won’t be that woman again. I’ve gone years without sex; I can do this.
My cell beeps, and I look down to read the text that makes the hairs on the back of my neck rise.
We’ve got a problem.
It’s been almost a week since Kashton watched me walk out of my motel room.
I haven’t left my house. There’s no need when you can get anything delivered.
Thankfully, I haven’t been called into either job.
I can go for a couple of weeks without anything to do and then have to be at both the bar and the cathedral in the same night.
Lying in bed, I stare at the TV. Some reality show is playing, but I’m not paying any attention.
It’s crazy how fast your situation can change.
That night on the Isabella was the first time in my life that I felt like a human.
The wind in my hair while we were at sea—I had never experienced anything like that before.
For so many years, I had been chained and collared, and I was finally free.
But it was just a lie I was telling myself, because I was nowhere near free.
It was just another form of training. Kashton had to rush in and save me, and it fucked up everything. I let him touch me, and I was ready to end it all for a little attention.
Now he’s back, but he’s not playing fair. He’s going to follow my every move.
My phone gets my attention when it vibrates next to me in bed. I see I have a text message from an unknown number, and I open it up.
You owe me.
The text is followed by a video. My pulse begins to race, and my hands shake as I hover over Play.
I have an idea of what I’m going to see.
If it’s what I think it is, he’s right. I’ll owe him, and the thought of him coming to collect terrifies me, but a deal is a deal. And I made one with the devil.
I sit, paralyzed, watching the ten second video, knowing I have to do something after it ends.
I have little control over my shaking hands as I call the one person I know can help. I owe the man in the video everything. He saved my life once. The least I can do is save him too.
KASHTON
I haven’t had a chance to follow Eve. Too much has been going on here—Haidyn had been gone; he turned himself over to the very bitch who trained us after Ashtyn shot Saint and left him for dead. I still haven’t forgiven her for that, and I’m not sure I ever will.
I’m tired of losing people I love. Tired of feeling left out and alone. Eve is my answer, but I had to make her wait. We had to save Haidyn first.
We finally got him back. He’s in rough shape, but he’s home at Carnage where he belongs. Isabella is also here in a cell. A part of me can finally breathe. A chapter of my life is closed.
For so long, I’ve lived with the thought that she would return to Carnage and take over again. I couldn’t care less about what happened to me, but my brothers? I hate to think of them being tortured. Being prisoners in the very place where we enslave those who betray the Lords.
Who have we betrayed? No one. We’ve held up our end.
Done what our fathers taught us. Ashtyn is the one who left us.
She’s the one who tried to kill my brother, the man who was just protecting her.
The domino effect from that led to Adam killing our fathers.
Saint and I had always thought it was Haidyn, but Adam admitted it when everything was coming out.
But saving Haidyn cost us something. We lost another brother. Again.
Adam is dead. And the worst part is that one of my friends killed him.
I’m soaked. We went ahead with Adam’s funeral today, even though it’s raining outside. It didn’t matter; we needed to lay him to rest.
Saint and Haidyn aren’t going to do anything about it, but I am. I feel betrayed. I’ve just left Adam’s funeral, and I need to do this now.
After bringing my car to a screeching halt, I get out and rush toward the house as the rain drenches me. My fists bang on the door before I cross my arms over my chest.
It opens after a few seconds, and Easton Sinnett—Sin—stands there with a smile on his face. “Kash Daddy.” The moment his eyes meet mine, the smile drops, and he sighs, looking over my rain-covered suit. “Sorry we didn’t make it to the funeral—”
I punch him in the face. Striking him so hard it shoves him back into the grand foyer of his house. When I step inside, I hit him again.
“What the fuck, Easton?” I shout. Grabbing his shirt, I yank him toward me, slamming my face into his. I barely feel the pain from the contact. I’m too worked up. I’m fucking shaking. We saved Haidyn, only to lose Adam. Sin walked into our office at Carnage and changed our lives in the worst way.
“Hey, Sinny.” I smile up at Easton as he enters the office, making him snort. “Have you decided to come home?” He’d make a great Spade brother. I’m determined to recruit him. What he did for Elli just proves that he will do whatever it takes.
“I’m here on Lords’ orders,” Sin states, and the air in the room instantly shifts from light to heavy.
I get to my feet, and so does Haidyn.
“What kind of orders?” Saint questions.
“I was given an assignment last night to deliver a Lord to Carnage,” he answers, his eyes on Saint’s. “I have an hour left.”
“Who?” I demand.
Sin looks from Saint to Adam and speaks to him. “You.”
Sin doesn’t even try to fight me, which pisses me off even more. “You had plenty of time to come to us.” Letting go of his shirt, I shove him backward.
He stumbles, disoriented, before he stands to his full height, rubbing his hand down his now bloody face, and squares his shoulders. “I’m sorry.” Sin holds his arms out wide to show he’s not going to retaliate.
“Sorry?” I give a rough laugh. “Sorry won’t bring him back.” I hit him again. And again.
Adam just returned to our lives after four years of being MIA, and now he’s gone forever. So many questions are still unanswered, and so much time has been lost. The Lords wanted us to imprison him in our basement. Instead, he killed himself.
“Wait. Wait.” I raise my hands. “Let’s think about this for a second. We’ve got an hour.”
“That’s not enough time,” Saint growls. “You should have come sooner,” he barks at Sin.
“It’s fine,” Adam assures him. “I’ll go downstairs.”
“We’re not putting you in a cell.” Haidyn shakes his head.
“We will if it’ll buy us time,” I argue. We were raised to do whatever needs to be done, and this is no different. I’d rather lock up a brother than lose him.
“I’ll go downstairs for now, and we’ll figure it out. Sin…” Adam picks up the gun, hands it back to Easton, and nods to the door. He and Sin exit the office.
We found Adam lying dead in the basement with a self-inflicted gunshot wound. He had hit Sin over the head and taken his gun. Then he’d taken his own life.
“What the fuck are you doing?” a pregnant Ellington squeals, running into the living room.