Chapter 9 Everett
NINE
EVERETT
Do you know what it feels like not to get to say goodbye to the one you love?
People die every day in freak accidents or from suicide or natural causes. I know there are a lot of people who don’t get to say goodbye to a loved one. Who aren’t aware when they kiss them goodbye as they leave for work that it might be their last.
I hate that I’ve had to say goodbye to someone I never even got to meet.
I sit cross-legged at the grave. It should have two headstones, but that wasn’t offered. The single headstone represents two people I love. Two deaths due to two different circumstances. Not getting to know them doesn’t make the pain or loss any easier.
Each one put a fresh hole in my heart. The tears did eventually stop, but it changed me. Made me colder.
I look over the unmarked grave. You don’t get to be remembered when you screw the Lords. There are two people who I never got to say goodbye to here. One brought me into this world, and the second, I refused to let end up with the same fate as me.
I learned at a very young age that I would rather swim with the sharks than surround myself with the people who tried to drown me.
I only had myself then, and I only have myself now.
That will never change. One day, they’ll get rid of me.
No one will show up for my funeral because there won’t even be one.
Not like I will have friends to attend it anyway.
I want to be cremated and dumped here, but that won’t happen.
You don’t get to choose how you die when the Lords decide your time is up.
As I sit here, the wind picks up, but heat covers my skin. I can feel him. I haven’t been able to pinpoint where he comes from or what it is he wants, but he’s been there.
Tonight is different. I can hear the sound of his boots on the muddy ground behind me, and I can smell him. It’s a cool night with a strong breeze. It’s on purpose. For some reason, tonight is the night he wants to be seen.
“I thought stalkers were supposed to go unnoticed,” I say, keeping my back to him.
A dark chuckle caresses my ears, and the breeze blows my hair around my face. Getting to my feet, I turn, and it gets caught in my lip gloss, slapping my face. I take a second to push it back, tucking it behind my ear.
The cemetery is dark at this time of night, with only one light, and even it’s on its last leg—flickering on and off.
But the moon is out in full, giving me enough light to see the man leaning against the large tree.
He’s got his right black combat boot against the tree, knee bent.
He stands over six feet tall, dressed in a black hoodie and light-wash jeans.
He pulls a pack of cigarettes out of one pocket and a Zippo out of the other.
Lighting it up, he flips the lighter shut and puts them both away.
“Aren’t there enough things that’ll kill a Lord?” I wonder, filling the silence. “Why put yourself in an early grave?”
The end of the cigarette burns as red as a cherry before he blows it out. “Speaking of graves…” Kashton looks around. “Why the fuck are we out here at three in the morning?”
“Why are you stalking me?” I counter, pushing my hip out. I was here first.
“Doubling my odds.”
I snort, not understanding nor caring enough to ask what he means by that. He pushes off the tree, getting my attention, and I take a step back.
His lips curl up slightly with amusement. “Nothing to be afraid of.”
I laugh at that absurd observation. “Oh, I’m not afraid of you.” I’ve come a long way in the past six years. I will fuck a man up without thought.
He takes another step toward me, and I match it.
“Your actions say otherwise,” he muses. Putting the cigarette between his lips, he takes in another drag as his gaze drops to my black platform boots. I had to sew up another Lord after a confessional tonight, and I haven’t changed yet, though I at least had the chance to wash up afterward.
“Maybe I’m pretending.” I shrug. “To throw you off.” You have to bait the hook before you can cast the rod.
“Pretending?” he repeats, taking another pull before blowing it out.
“Is that what this is, Eve? Are we going to pretend that I haven’t seen you naked?
” I swallow at the way his blue eyes graze over my chest. Those butterflies that I can’t seem to shake take flight in my stomach.
“That I never heard my name on your lips while cum leaked from your pussy?”
“Kash—”
“You remember that, right? Before you ran away from me?”
I roll my eyes to feign annoyance and ignore the way my pussy clenches at the memory. “It was one time.”
“It was the first time,” he promises. “You won’t get away from me this time, Eve.”
He takes another step closer, and I match it once more. I won’t let him touch me. “What we did was a mistake. We both know it.” I wasn’t aware of who he was that night, but I am now, and I want nothing to do with him.
“Want me to save you from a rapist? Then you can reward me by letting me have my way with you while you beg me like a good whore?” He smiles at me. “That’s what you’re into, right?”
“Fuck you, Kash,” I say through gritted teeth, hating that I ever let him get me off.
The man turns and makes his way to the bathroom. I blink, trying to calm my racing heart. I came all over myself. Like a trained whore. I can’t say no. It’s not a word we’re allowed to use.
But I wanted him. He looked at me like I was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. He saved me.
I glance down at the dead guy on the floor and get to my feet, even though my legs are shaking. A quick look at Kash, and he’s still in the bathroom, washing his hands. I grab his suit jacket, rush to the door, and softly close it behind me.
I run, pushing people out of my way, tears rolling down my face. I feel sick, my stomach turning and a sour taste filling my mouth.
“Whoa—”
My upper arm is grabbed, and I’m spun around.
I try to push him off, but the grip just tightens. “Don’t.” My voice cracks.
He looks me up and down. “Christ. What the fuck happened to you?” He pulls me into a bathroom, and I immediately drop to my knees, gasping for breath.
“I…uh…he…”
“What the fuck did you do?” he growls, grabbing my hair.
“I didn’t—” I choke, gripping the toilet. “He’s dead,” I manage to get out before the first wave hits me and I’m vomiting all the champagne I had tonight.
“You fucking killed him?” He yanks me back by my hair as I get sick all over myself. “Fucking bitch.” Hissing, he shoves me to the side, and I curl into myself.
I was disgusted afterward. That I’d allowed this man to touch me. By how easily I’d thrown myself at him.
Kashton’s smile just grows, as if he knows how much he affected me. “You were so wet…begging me to fuck you.”
My nails dig into my palms.
“You were so loud. I had to place my hand over your mouth so no one would hear you. But I’m more than willing to let the world hear you scream my name now.”
“Kashton,” I say, trying to calm my racing heart. I should have never let him find me here.
“Yeah, angel?”
I whimper at the mention of the nickname he gave me all those years ago, and it grants me a winning smile. His perfectly straight white teeth glow under the light. He knows what he does to me. “I’m not the same person I was,” I warn him.
Then, I had no choice. Didn’t know any better. Now, I understand I’m not some bitch a man can use. I’m a fucking storm and can destroy anything in my path.
“Neither am I.” He takes a long pull of the cigarette. “See, I wasn’t able to do anything about it then, but I can now.”
Literal butterflies flutter in my stomach at his choice of words.
He wasn’t a Lord then. He was going through initiations.
Now, he’s free and clear and can fuck whoever he wants.
“Haven’t you married by now?” I drop my eyes to his left hand, hoping he’s wearing a ring.
There has to be some unlucky woman out there chained to him for the rest of her life.
Not like it would matter. They all cheat. Marriage means nothing to them.
Laughter follows once more. “Let’s just say I’ve been looking for the right one.”
“Well, most women aren’t thrilled to be treated like a pet.”
He takes another step closer, and I don’t retreat this time. “You want to be collared, angel? Want me to walk you around on a leash?”
I place my hand on my chest and speak. “Yes, please, my Lord. It’s my dream to bark for you.” I bat my fake lashes like a doting bitch.
A cruel smile graces his face under the moonlight, and it makes him look as handsome as I remember.
He’s wearing a hoodie, but I can see the ink that covers his hands.
He didn’t have any tattoos before. Not that I remember anyway.
He gave me his suit jacket, but he never removed his dress shirt.
“How did you know I prefer bitches over pussycats?”
“Call it a woman’s intuition.” I roll my eyes, avoiding eye contact.
He steps into me, and I tilt my head, unable to stop myself, and meet his stare.
My heart is hammering in my chest at our closeness.
He lifts his free hand and pushes the hair back from my face, his fingertips grazing my skin.
My body shivers from the contact, but I’m going to blame it on the cool night air.
Blood rushes in my ears and the wind picks up, whipping my hair. He cups my face, and I hold my breath when he leans down. He’s no different from any other john. Let them get close and then attack.
“I’ve been looking for you, Eve.”
My skin tingles with excitement at the threat. I whisper, “You found me.” I search his pretty blue eyes. “What are you going to do to me?”
The corner of his lips twitch. “Whatever I want.”
His words send heat running up my spine. When his eyes drop to my lips, I know what’s coming. He’s going to kiss me, and I’m going to let him.