Chapter 11
I almost lost my nerve multiple times on the way to the prison, but I knew that if I turned around now, I might never go back. So I pushed through the discomfort of the visitor entry process and found myself face to face with Louisa, though we were separated by a thin pane of glass.
It was strange to see her in orange, a color I knew she hated. Stranger still to see her bare-faced and with her hair pulled back in a simple ponytail when I knew she took great joy in expressing her personal style through hair and makeup.
A part of me had worried what I would feel when I faced her, that I’d be so disgusted by what she’d done—and tried to do—that I wouldn’t love her anymore.
I shouldn’t have worried. The moment her eyes met mine, I was flooded with love.
This was my sister, the one who’d never made me feel inferior when we practiced piano duets together, even though I was.
The one who would stealthily eat the disgusting pickled beets from my plate any time they were served, and who’d taken the fall for me when I’d accidentally shattered an original Wedgwood piece.
She’d been grounded for a week, but said it was worth it so I wouldn’t have to miss Darcy’s ninth birthday party.
I wished I could break through the glass and give her a giant hug.
Instead, I picked up the phone on my end, pressing cold plastic against my cheek. “Hey, Lou.”
“Hi, Charles.” Her voice was the same, and yet different. It was heavier.
“Are they treating you well?” I asked. I knew it was a stupid question the moment it came out of my mouth.
She smiled grimly. “Better than I deserve.”
I shook my head. “You deserve to be treated well.”
“After what I did and what I tried to do?”
I blew out a breath, unsure what to say. I had imagined there would be a fair amount of small talk before we got to this part. “Yes. Of course you should still be treated well.”
Louisa leaned forward over her folded arms. “I am sorry, you know. For what I did. And for all the terrible things I said about the guard that died.”
When we’d confronted her about the murder, she hadn’t seemed sorry at all.
She’d acted so unlike herself—she’d been like an injured, cornered animal.
I was partly to blame for that; I’d been part of the plan to catch the killer.
We hadn’t shown any compassion or empathy for Louisa, we’d all been too outraged at what she’d done.
She took a shaky breath. “Looking back, I don’t know what came over me. I can’t make sense of my actions, or why I took things as far as I did.”
My impulse was to absolve her, to tell her it was okay, that I understood she’d only been trying to help Caroline. But it wasn’t okay. So I said, “Why do they even use this stupid glass? I just want to hug you.”
Her smile wobbled. “I know. It’s magical glass—your powers won’t affect it or go through it.”
I rubbed my arms; they were cold even though the room was warm. “Caroline told me she’s been by to see you.”
“She has. At first it was awkward—she was understandably angry. The fact that I killed someone in the name of protecting her really broke her heart. That’s another thing I have to be sorry for. It was hard for both of us. But she kept coming.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t been here,” I said. It was one more failure I could add to a long list of them.
“You were busy with work,” she said, excusing my negligence with more grace than I deserved.
“I was busy avoiding all the things that are most important to me,” I said. “I’m learning my lesson.”
She smiled. “I would love to see you more often. Now, what’s troubling you? It’s written all over your face.”
Louisa always could read me. A bit of the tension in my shoulders released. I knew she would know how to help. “Here’s the thing. I’ve been trying to solve a murder and I’m not doing a very good job of it.”
“So you thought you’d come ask a murderer for some tips?”
Heat rose to my face. “I didn’t mean that—”
She smiled. “Oh, Charles. You’re so easy to tease. Don’t worry; I’m not offended.”
I started again. “I’m here because you’re my sister and I should have come sooner, but it took everything crumbling apart for me to remember what you mean to me.”
“Everything crumbling apart? That sounds like a lot more than an unsolved crime.”
I took a bracing breath. “Here’s the thing, I’m turning out to be a terrible sleuth.
” I told her everything—about how Jeanine’s coffee was poisoned because she was trying to sell the land to developers, how the police suspected Jane, and what I knew about the three suspects, Brittany, Terence, and Herb.
“One of the shelter employees has to be the killer, but I just can’t see any of them having done it. ”
“Have you ruled any of them out?”
“That’s the problem: I’ve ruled them all out.
I ruled out the vet because he considers rat poison unethical, and I ruled out Brittany because she’s friendly and I didn’t find any incriminating evidence in her office.
I never seriously considered Herb in the first place because he is such a nice person, and even now that I know he threatened the victim, I believe him when he says he didn’t kill her.
” I huffed out a breath. “I just don’t know how it could have been any of them. ”
She pursed her lips together. “I know you hate to consider the fact that one of your friends killed someone. Just as it was hard for you and Caroline to accept that I tried to kill Lizzy. It’s hard for me to accept.
But I’ve met a lot of people here, people I would never have associated with before this.
And I’ve learned something important.” Her voice was low and intense, so I leaned in, even though I was listening through the phone and it wouldn’t actually get any louder.
“People are complicated,” she said. “Nobody is all good or all bad. And sometimes people make bad choices.”
“Like you?”
“Like me.”
I sighed. “I agree, in principle. But in my gut, I just don’t think any of them did it.” Leaning back in my chair, I caught my reflection in the glass. I looked tired, discouraged. “I need to stop seeing the good in people.”
Louisa gave me her “you’re being stupid” look—a look I’d been on the receiving end of more times than I could count. “Charles. Seeing the good in people is part of who you are. I’ve always loved that about you.”
“Thanks, but in this case it’s really unhelpful. I don’t even have a lead. Seeing the good in everyone is making me blind to the killer. If I’m going to solve this, I’m going to have to change that about myself.”
Louisa’s ponytail swung to one side and back again as she shook her head. “You don’t need to change anything about yourself to solve this. Want to know how I know?” She had that big sister look in her eyes again.
“How?” I asked softly.
“Because you’re not in denial about my guilt. Loving me doesn’t make you blind to my mistakes.” She leaned closer, her forehead almost touching the glass. “You can trust yourself. If you say none of them did it, then none of them did it. Keep looking.”
“I want to, but I don’t know where to look.
Nobody else knew that Jeanine would be at the shelter that night.
Except…” My heart sank as the realization dawned on me.
“There was someone else who knew about it, my friend Bill. He’s the director of the rec center and he loaned the shelter their coffeemaker that night. ”
“And what does your gut tell you about that theory?”
I tapped my fingers against my chin. “That it’s worth looking into. I hate suspecting a friend. But I need to be sure.”
A guard came over and tapped me on the shoulder. “Your time is up.”
“Thanks.”
“You’ve got this, Charles,” Louisa said. “I know you’ll figure it out.”
“Thanks, Lou. I hate that the visits are so short, but I promise to come again soon. And next time, I might come back with some good news about Jane.”
Louisa smiled. “I’d love to see you again, and I can’t wait for an update.”
A guard on the other side of the glass approached Louisa.
“I’ve got places to be,” she said, smiling wryly. Then she met my eyes and her expression turned serious. “I’m proud of you. And I love you.”
“I love you too.”
A piece of my heart shattered as a guard came to lead Louisa back to her cell, but she turned and winked at me over her shoulder, and a feeling of peace I hadn’t felt since she was arrested settled over me, buoying me up.
Flurries of snow buffeted me when I stepped outside the prison, and my thoughts swirled just as intensely as I navigated the snowy roads back toward Cupid’s Confections. The first thing I wanted to do was tell Jane everything.