Chapter 12 Charlie
CHARLIE
When was the hinge point in my life where everything went wildly off course?
Maybe it was when Dad died, and my life split permanently into a Before and an After.
Or the day Greg noticed me in seventh grade, when what I needed most was to be noticed.
It could be after that first bird rescue, when the Forresters moved to town, when I first dared to imagine living in one of those huge mansions on the hill.
What I wouldn’t give to go back to that moment and change something. Anything. To avoid feeling this this.
—from the journal of Charlie Savage
Bennett and Rosie had been acting weird since we got back to the townhouse.
Rosie, lounging in the recliner, was way too smiley for the day I’d just had.
And Bennett? He kept staring out the window like he might fling himself through it and run for the forest. He sat on the other side of the couch from me, hugging the armrest like it alone kept him from fleeing the room.
Maybe I’d finally found his breaking point, where my drama had become too much for him. Just because I was his sister’s best friend, we played on the same softball team, we had inside jokes, and he was taking care of my dog—none of that meant he’d signed up to watch me cry.
But inertia was working against me. Moving? Not going to happen. Actually getting up and leaving? Impossible.
I was curled up with my head on the armrest, a soft wool blanket draped over me and a sleeping Hansel curled in my lap. It was the perfect antidote to heartbreak. If only puppy snuggles could cure financial and contractual problems as well.
I wanted to fall asleep, too, and wake up to a world where my problems were magically solved, but the thoughts racing around in my mind, and the furtive stares and wordless argument between Bennett and Rosie, were making it impossible.
Rosie gestured at me, and Bennett glared.
Then Rosie aggressively pointed between me and Bennett and down at the ground, and Bennett closed his eyes with a long-suffering sigh and scrubbed a hand over his beard.
A movie no one was watching played in the background, and I snagged the remote from the coffee table and pressed pause. “What’s going on?” I sat up, being careful not to jostle Hansel.
Rosie paused mid-gesture—she was clasping her two hands together very pointedly in my direction—and said quickly, “Nothing. Ask Bennett.”
I slid my gaze toward Bennett, whose face was flushed. A spark of curiosity lit somehow amid the ashes of my emotions. I’d never seen Ben blush before; I thought he was impervious to embarrassment. “Bennett?”
He straightened his spine. “Rosie had an idea.”
“You’re supposed to take credit for it!” Rosie said, exasperated, and I could see the corner of Ben’s bearded mouth twitch into a smile, which in turn—to my surprise, given my mental state and lack of heart—made me want to smile.
Maybe Ben hadn’t reached his breaking point with me yet. I hadn’t factored in that Bennett had a high threshold for drama and tears, honed over years of raising Rosie. Which made me even more curious about why he was acting weird.
“‘Rosie had an idea’ is a dangerous phrase,” I said, my voice rusty. “I’m pretty sure her last big idea resulted in our friends nearly being lost at sea.”
“Near is not the same as actual. And they’re married now, so all’s well that ends well.” In a matchmaking scheme gone awry, two close friends of ours had faced their share of danger before realizing they were perfect for each other. Having it all work out only encouraged Rosie.
“Speaking of marriage …” Bennett pushed his hair away from his face, giving me a full view of his algae-green eyes.
My smile drooped. “Yeah, speaking of marriage …” This morning, I was engaged.
Now, I was adrift. “You guys, cancelling everything is going to be a nightmare. And that’s the least nightmarish part of all this, but the part I can’t stop obsessing about.
” I tugged the blanket around me tighter.
I wasn’t even cold; I just needed the security. But I was still shaking.
Bennett grabbed another blanket from the back of the couch and tenderly tucked it around me. “I have a question for you. You can say no,” he said seriously, not taking his eyes off of mine. My stomach dipped with nerves. “In fact, you should say no. Jules would advise that.”
“Really, Ben?” Rosie said, exasperated. “I’m going to the bathroom. Call for me when you’re done botching this, and I’ll convince her to say yes.”
“Say yes to what?” I asked after Rosie went down the hall and shut the bathroom door.
“I think we should get married.”
I snorted, which felt good after being so sad.
All of this lead-up just to make me laugh?
Man, I loved the Forresters. In fact, the more I thought about it, the funnier it got.
Plus, my emotions were a little unhinged anyway after today.
“Oh my gosh. Can you imagine?” Why was I crying again?
I couldn’t even tell if these were sad tears or amused ones.
And maybe it didn’t matter—all this emotion had to come out one way or another.
“It might be too soon for jokes,” I said with a watery laugh as I motioned to my face.
“I’m serious, Charlie.” He stared at me intensely, not a hint of mirth on his face. “I know I’m doing this all wrong—”
In his pause, as I saw his thoughts gather in his eyes, my world tilted.
“If we get married, it will solve all your problems.”
I blinked, trying to get my bearings. “Bennett …” I let my voice drift off, not even sure what to say, grateful when Rosie marched back into the room and sat down on the table, triangular to us. She could be a voice of reason.
Bennett slowly lifted a brow. “I thought you were going to wait until we called you.” He seemed completely unbothered by this whole situation, which made one of us.
Rosie faced me and pressed her knees into mine.
“Charlie, I can tell you’re freaking out about this, but it’s the perfect solution.
You’ll still get to do Married in the Wild.
You’ll make the money you need for your mom.
You won’t have to leave Winterhaven and your job at the university.
You’ll get to keep Hansel. And, best of all, you won’t have to cancel anything. ”
Why, why did I think Rosie would be the voice of reason?
“It’s a simple fiancé swap!” she finished with a bright smile.
“For the love …” Bennett said under his breath. “Fiancé swap? It sounds like you’re making up a whole new reality show.”
While the two bickered about her wording, I sank into the couch, dazed.
Marry Bennett. Bennett Forrester. It wasn’t like I’d never considered the possibility before—entire journal pages had been dedicated to doodling Charlotte Forrester with hearts all around it.
But that was years ago. When I was a little baby teenager who still believed that happiness was within my grasp.
“It’s a marriage of convenience,” Rosie insisted, bringing me back into the conversation. “They happen all the time.”
“No, they don’t,” Bennett said.
“In fiction they do,” I murmured. I knew how her brain worked.
“Exactly.” She threw both her hands out excitedly.
Bennett frowned. “Don’t get her started on this ‘exactly’ track.”
“This is the real world,” I argued with her, my mind finally catching up with what they were suggesting.
“Exac—”
“We’d get married in four days,” Bennett said over Rosie. “Just like the producers from Wild are planning.”
“Like, married for real? Not a fake wedding?”
“For real,” Rosie said. “Jules says your contract states it needs to be a legal marriage.”
The contract. I regretted signing it. Applying for the show. Ever watching it in the first place. I should have cashed out my tiny retirement account despite my mom’s objections.
“I can’t ask you to do that,” I said to Bennett.
“Technically, I asked you,” he said, with that quirk of his mouth again that made me wish I could see more of it through his beard.
I dropped my head into my hands, overwhelmed. Hansel woke up at my sudden movement and hopped from my lap to Bennett’s, where he curled into a ball and fell back asleep. “Why, though?” I whispered.
“It’s the only solution,” he said.
“No. Why would you agree to do this?” I stared at him, a sudden rush of energy flowing through me.
“You can’t marry me, Bennett! You need to find someone you love and marry her and have adorable little Bennett babies who you teach how to sail and catch fish and wear shirts entirely too big for them that they steal from your closet.
” Why did that vision make me suddenly want to cry again?
“You’re one of my best friends, Charlie.”
“That’s not reason enough,” I argued. I’d seen Bennett give endlessly to everyone around him, often at his own expense. I didn’t want to be another person putting him last.
“Forrester Expeditions is falling down around him, and he doesn’t have enough money for all the repairs he needs to keep it open,” Rosie blurted.
“Can’t you get a loan?” I asked him.
“Not for the amount I need,” he said. “I’m already paying off loans for the shop and my boat.”
“Oh. That makes sense. And you can get off work for that long?”
“It’s the slow season. I’ll send my few remaining clients over to one of my friends.”
Some of the tenseness left my shoulders, and I really considered the idea.
Bennett loved the fishing shop. I couldn’t imagine him without it.
If this arrangement—this marriage of convenience—could help him, too, then maybe it was okay.
Bennett and me, married. I would be an official Forrester. For a while, at least.
I pressed a hand against my stomach. Was I actually considering this? I’d gone along with so many Rosie schemes throughout the years, I’d lost count. But this was marriage. “It wouldn’t be a real, real marriage, right? Just a legal business arrangement called marriage?”
“We have plenty of time to work out the details,” Rosie said dismissively.
“The wedding is in four days!” I gripped my hands painfully in my lap, very aware that Bennett was right there, listening to all this.
Rosie gently placed her hands over mine. “You know this is right.”
Did I know that? I looked at Bennett. What answers could he give that would make it okay for me to agree to this?
“Rosie, I think you should go to the bathroom again,” Bennett said, not taking his intense stare away from me.
She hopped up and left the room without a word, though her smile spoke volumes.
“Are you really sure?” I studied his face, looking for… something. Doubt. Resentment. Irritation. One flicker of any of those emotions, and I’d smother the hope I’d let build.
He took my hands and linked our fingers together. I stared down at the crisscross pattern that connected us. I squeezed tightly, gripping him like I was being flung from wave to wave, and he was my buoy.
“I want to do this for you, Charlie.”
It was suddenly hard to breathe, waves crashing unrelentingly over me. Mayday. Mayday. That vulnerable hole in my chest was looking for something to fill it, and I needed a reminder that he was getting something out of this too. Stat.
“You want this for you too, right?” I said, somewhat desperately. “So you can fix the shop.”
“Yeah, that too,” he said sincerely.
Okay. Okay. His thumb absently brushed across my palm, dipping in and out of my hand, making breathing something I had to really think about.
“What about you?” His thumb stilled. “We don’t have to do this.
I’ll get someone to cover my excursion tomorrow and spend all day helping you cancel everything.
Jules said he would be your lawyer and work with Wild to get you out of as much trouble as legally possible.
And Rosie will get you out of as much trouble as illegally possible. ”
They would. These Forresters had my back, whether I deserved it or not.
I pictured me and Bennett in the wilderness, surviving on nothing but the land.
We always had a great time together, and our strengths complemented each other.
The two of us together might even have a chance of winning.
Plus, we both needed the money. We could do this.
I could marry Bennett Forrester.
Way, way too easily.
I exhaled shakily. “Let’s do it.”