Chapter 8 #2
His gaze caught mine. “If you’ll let me, I’d like to help make your dream a reality.” He tapped his finger on his side, the same rhythm over and over. “It matters to you, and now it matters to me.”
My breath caught, something in me trembling at the earnestness in his gaze.
My hand shook as I hung another ornament, but I couldn’t deny that a part of me wanted his help too.
For so long I’d been doing everything alone.
Like Lizzy said, I kept people at arm’s length because it was easier to be alone than to get hurt.
Love was a risk, but maybe it was one worth taking.
“Thank you,” I whispered, unsure what else to say.
William had a harder life than I’d given him credit for, and I couldn’t help but wonder how much of him was him and how much was Lady Catherine’s influence.
His forced confidence must’ve been a mask for his insecurity after losing his parents so young.
Based there were hints of the real William peeking through.
I turned to face him, then froze, caught in place by the quiet intensity in his gaze. He wasn’t much taller than me, putting our eyes—and our mouths—at about the same level.
William’s gaze dropped to my lips and his cheeks darkened, but he didn’t move, as if sensing how fragile the moment was. Even the Christmas carols in the background faded away as the moment thickened.
The flush in his cheeks—the evidence of his happiness—unraveled any shred of my self-control and the logic I kept pulled around me like armor.
My brain told me to move back, to protect myself like I always had, but my feet betrayed me, edging a step closer.
The warmth of his body invited me to close the remaining gap, to trust him and the thought that he could make me happy.
His hands twitched at his sides, but he kept them still, as if sensing that one wrong move could shatter the moment.
His restraint spoke volumes, louder than any declarations he might’ve said.
“Charlotte, I…” He hesitated, his hand dropping to his cuff. “I know I’m more awkward than most men, and I don’t always know what to say or I say the wrong thing, but I want to make you happy. Will you let me?”
“You are more awkward than most.” My instincts screamed at me that we were wading into dangerous territory, but my hand fell to the warm necklace, filling me with courage. “But you’re also more thoughtful and more empathetic too.”
“I believe that this would be the right time for us to kiss, if that’s agreeable. And I believe that you are. I’ve taken into account your body language, the fact that we’re standing under a mistletoe, and that you’re smiling right now, which feels like a good sign. But tell me if I’m wrong.”
My heart pounded so loudly that surely he could hear it too. “You aren’t”—I swallowed—“wrong.”
He blinked, as if surprised at my easy agreement. But then he smiled and leaned closer until the space between us collapsed into a single breath. An offering that still left me with a choice but was close enough that my rational mind lost the battle entirely.
I met him the rest of the way, pressing my lips to his. For a moment, everything blurred into silence around us until all I knew was the feel of William’s soft wool shirt and his cinnamon smell. The bell chimed overhead, betraying his happiness or mine.
But it also snapped me back to reality.
I pulled back, breathing hard.
“Was that okay?” His worried hazel eyes scanned me as if his kiss had hurt me.
And maybe it had. I wasn’t supposed to make myself vulnerable like that again.
This wasn’t supposed to be the kind of marriage that came with kissing.
It was meant to be tidy. Logical. Safe. But William wasn’t safe; he was kind, earnest, and dangerously easy to care for.
He played the role of the perfect husband so well, I could see myself forgetting that it was just an act.
A small, stubborn piece of me wanted it to be real, but I forced it into silence. I’d gone down that road before and let myself believe in something warm and lasting, only to end up used and humiliated.
I could trust William not to hurt me, but only because I was keeping my heart out of it.
“You did fine.” I took a step back. “I’m just… I’m not…”
This wasn’t what we agreed to. There were no rules for what happened when pretend started to feel real.
He took a slow step forward and pressed a hand softly against the quill resting over my collarbone. “It’s okay, Charlotte. You don’t have to have all the right words right now, but if you want to tell me anything, I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
I closed my eyes, letting myself sink into his touch. I couldn’t spend my whole life worrying about Hugh. William was as different from him as it was possible to be, and I’d already admitted that I trusted him. Maybe it was time to show it.
When we made this agreement, I told myself I’d keep my head down and focus on the shop.
No romance. No feelings. Just a roof over my head and time to chase my dream.
I hadn’t counted on William. I’d promised myself I’d choose my shop over my heart—told myself again and again I didn’t need romance if I could chase my dream.
But with William maybe I didn’t have to choose.
Maybe I could share everything with him, even the parts I’d tried my best to keep hidden.
“A few years ago, I dated a man named Hugh.” I sucked in a breath. “I thought we were in love, and I’d even started planning our marriage.”
William stood still, except his thumb brushed along my cheekbone softly, the touch as delicate as when he touched the frostpetal.
“But eventually, I realized it was all a lie.” I swallowed hard. “He was an incubus feeding on my feelings. The more I loved him, the stronger he got. It was all a lie to him.”
“Then he was a fool.” William caressed my cheek again, but this time he wiped away a tear. “I would never hurt you.”
I bit my lip. “I know.” At least, I knew that he believed it, but what if he didn’t feel the same once he got his memories back? I put another ornament on the tree, a mini mug of cocoa that had real steam rising from the cup. “What are we going to do tomorrow? We can’t stay here indefinitely.”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay, let’s think about this logically.” I ignored William’s appreciative smile and started making a list. “As for people who might’ve wanted to hurt you, we have Brexton—”
“Wait.” His brow furrowed. “I thought you said Brexton was the one who married us?”
“He did, and apparently he’s been eying your position for a while.
I don’t know that he’d actually go through with it, but it at least gives him a motive.
” I thought back on my conversation with him and how he’d warned me against the sprite.
“Plus, there’s one of your neighbors. That sprite, Pennyfern.
Oh, and I think we should add Dahlia’s uncle to the list. You yourself mentioned that you’re pretty sure he doesn’t like you. ”
“Is it normal for one person to have such a long list of enemies?” His hand fell to his cuff again, tracing the fabric in soothing circles.
“I don’t know, but we’ll figure this out before anyone else gets hurt.” I pulled out the star for the top of the tree and stared at it. I had no proof that the Star of Everlight had anything to do with the murder, but tiny indefinite strings kept pointing me back to Rosings Park. “I promise.”
I hesitated a moment, then filled him in on Lizzy’s message. It didn’t seem likely that Tessa would do anything to hurt Dahlia, but maybe it was worth talking to her tomorrow to see if she knew anything. I shot her a quick text asking if we could meet for lunch.
William flicked his finger and a gentle gust of air magic lifted the star to the top of the tree. We both gazed at the finished tree for a few moments in silent appreciation, then he followed me down the hall to the guest room.
William took one look around and gave me a beaming smile. “It’s wonderful.”
But I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the bed—the one taking up the far side of the room. We were married. Technically. On paper. But—
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” I flushed and looked down at my feet.
“There is no need to concern yourself about the bed. You can have it if you want. I’ll sleep on the floor. I’ve done it before and experienced no serious side effects.”
“No, you don’t need to sleep on the floor. I’m the one who dragged us here. I’ll sleep on the floor.”
He frowned. “Yes, but I’m the reason we can’t be at home tonight in our own bed… beds?” He shook his head. “Anyway, the point is it’s my fault, so I’ll sleep on the floor.”
I blew out a breath and turned to face him.
“It’s fine. No one has to sleep on the floor.
We can share it.” My heart pounded a mile a minute as I said it, but it wasn’t the same discomfort that filled me when I thought of Hugh.
It wasn’t William I didn’t trust—it was me.
I’d let my guard down once before, and it had nearly broken me.
He caught my hand as I started toward the bathroom. “You’re safe with me, Charlotte.”
My breath hitched, but I swallowed down the butterflies. “I know.”
We grabbed our suitcases from the car and brushed our teeth in silence—but even that felt strangely intimate. The reality of our marriage hit me again. William was my husband, and things like this would be the new normal.
We finished getting ready in silence, and I changed into pajamas in the bathroom while William changed in the room. I caught him scribbling in his notebook once more before we climbed into bed.
The rustle of the sheets was extra loud in the silence.
“Charlotte?”
“Yeah?”
“I know none of this is how you imagined, and maybe I’ve already failed at being a husband by making you feel like this was a marriage of convenience, but I don’t think it is. Not anymore.”
“You don’t know what you feel,” I said. “You’ve only known me for twenty-four hours.”
“Time isn’t the only metric that matters in relationships.
” The sheets rustled as he moved onto his side and stared at me in the dark.
“We’ve been through several high-stress events together already and statistically bonding accelerates under those conditions.
I think I’ve seen more of you in the last twenty-four hours than many couples might see in a lifetime of marriage. ”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re being silly.”
“I’m not.” His hand reached out as if he was going to take mine again.
I stiffened but didn’t move away, though I wasn’t sure why. The easiest thing would be to stop him there.
William lightly touched the back of his hand to mine.
“You decided to solve this murder even though you know it’s dangerous.
You care about your friends and family. You’re a good person, and whatever the old William might’ve felt, this new William doesn’t want to have to keep pretending.
Being with you makes me comfortable. When you’re here, I don’t feel overwhelmed.
I can think clearly. I don’t get that with most people. ”
My reply got caught in my throat, strangled by my fear of would-haves and could-bes.
But even that William seemed to sense. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know how I feel. I know our marriage began as a functional agreement. But if I’m honest, I’ve found the emotional component unexpectedly meaningful. I don’t want to go back to pretending it doesn’t matter.”
“Thank you for telling me how you feel,” I whispered.
With that, silence fell over the room. The crash of the waves outside created a natural sort of white noise, but I still couldn’t sleep. Especially not with William’s cinnamon scent filling the air. How dare he smell so nice.
He was so close, yet in other ways so far.
I reached out and laced our fingers together, closing the distance between us. “I’m glad you’re here with me too,” I whispered, echoing his earlier statement.
William stiffened slightly, and I started to pull away, but then he tightened his grip, his touch reassuring and warm.
“And I’m not going anywhere.” He was silent a beat, then added, “Even if I forgot you again, Charlotte, I still think I’d fall for you.
Over and over. Rationally speaking, the odds of forming this connection twice are low… but emotionally, it feels inevitable.”
My pulse quickened at his sweet words, but silence settled between us, comfortable and familiar.
Eventually, my eyes drifted shut, but it wasn’t because I was comfortable. It was because Chiyo Obasan’s mattress was simply better than what I was used to and the garland of pine wrapped around the bedpost rustled softly like it too was settling in for the night.
And it definitely had nothing to do with the fact that I might have been falling for the fae next to me.