Chapter 12
The next morning, William and I went for a walk in the crisp winter air. Now that we’d caught the killer, things were beginning to feel a bit more like Christmas. Our footsteps crunched in the snow, leaving a pair of matched tracks.
After a few minutes, my phone buzzed with a message. I glanced at Lizzy’s text.
Hey, I’m outside. Are you home?
We went for a walk, but we’ll be there soon.
I started to slide my phone into my pocket, then pulled it out to send her one last message before I forgot.
Wait inside where it’s warm.
I slipped my phone back into my pocket and glanced at William, who was strangely silent.
Maybe the events from yesterday were too much.
Even to me, it was hard to think someone might have tried to kill him.
What happened with Dahlia might have been an accident, but that didn’t change Merrick’s actions from yesterday.
“Are you okay?” I squeezed William’s hand. I hadn’t even noticed when he’d taken it this time, but I didn’t want to pull away. Holding his hand was a simple pleasure I didn’t want to give up.
“I am.” William hesitated. “But I can’t stop thinking about yesterday.”
“Me too,” I said.
“I acknowledge and appreciate everything Lady Catherine has done for me throughout the years.” His thumb traced rapid circles on the back of my hand.
“However, I cannot cease analyzing the possibility that I was close to adopting Merrick’s mindset.
You have previously advised me regarding my loyalty to her.
I recognize now how that kind of loyalty, if unchecked, could lead me to actions that harm others.
” He blinked fast. “I don’t want to think about what might have happened if that had been me. ”
I pulled him to a stop and met his gaze for a moment before he looked away. “Listen to me, William. That would never have been you.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because you are too kind to ever hurt someone,” I said. “No matter what others told you, that wouldn’t change who you are inside. Even without your memories, you still knew enough to be repulsed by the idea of hurting someone.”
“Are you certain that you’re right?” His worried hazel eyes briefly met mine again.
“I am.”
“I want to trust your words,” he said, “but my memories conflict with that, which creates uncertainty. It shows me a lifetime of listening to her, not questioning.” He sucked in a breath and his finger stilled. “But with you present, the chance of me making that mistake decreases significantly.”
We made it to a bend in the path, and our house came into view. A small figure stood in the path ahead of us, her dark clothes a stark contrast against the sparkling snow.
William and I came to a stop. He tensed, stepping in front of me slightly.
“Hello,” Maris said softly.
“Hi,” I said after a moment.
She twisted her hands together. “I wanted to apologize for what my brother did. I feel horrible.”
I blinked. “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” William said. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Nevertheless, I feel like I owe the two of you an apology for what he put you through.” She ducked her head, then glanced shyly at William. “And since I believe Merrick’s magic is the reason you lost your memories, I wanted to offer to undo it.”
I froze, my breath misting in front of me. “You can do that?”
“Yes.” She didn’t elaborate, leaving me to wonder if it was because they were both brownies, because they were siblings, or something else completely.
If William’s memories returned, did that mean I would lose the man I’d been getting to know the last few days and things would go back to the way they were before our marriage?
“I would like that.” William squeezed my hand and glanced at me.
“Your brow is furrowed, which from past experience usually means you’re worried.
You don’t have to be. Getting my memories back will be a good thing.
I will know what happened with Dahlia that was making you so concerned, and I’ll remember why Lady Catherine called me back on the night of our wedding. ”
“Okay,” I whispered over my pounding heart. Whatever happened, I’d already decided to trust him, and this wouldn’t change that. I glanced up at the icicle lanterns hanging overhead which still glowed with different colors, though the illumination was only a shadow of what it looked like at night.
William closed his eyes, his grip on my hand tight.
Maris held out her hands, and a small silvery glow shimmered from her fingers toward William. It briefly wrapped around him before soaking into his skin like a fragrance soaking into candle wax.
William slowly opened his eyes and looked at me.
“Did it work?” I whispered.
“It did.”
My heart pounded in my chest, and when I glanced back to where Maris had stood, she’d already melted back into the scenery. She was probably on her way back to Rosings.
“And are you okay?” I asked.
“I am.” His brow furrowed.
“So what happened then?”
“On the night of our honeymoon, Lady Catherine needed me to help with her secret beau. Since she’d given the brownies the night off and Anne doesn’t know about him, she had no one else to ask.”
I blinked. Lady Catherine had a secret boyfriend? That was about as wild as if I’d heard that Mrs. Bennet decided to take a vow of silence. But now wasn’t the time for that. I shook my head. “No, not that. What happened with Dahlia?”
“Dahlia approached me before the wedding and kissed me.” His expression tightened as he looked at me, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “She asked me to cancel the wedding and be with her instead.”
My stomach clenched, and I dropped my gaze.
“But I told her no.” He hesitated, then put his hand under my chin and tilted my face up.
“I told her you’re the one I’m going to marry and stopped the kiss.
I regret that it happened at all. It caught me by surprise, but I chose you.
” His hand tightened around mine. “I will always choose you, and from now on, you will be my priority.”
My breath caught. It had been a long time since anyone had made me feel this way—since I’d let anyone make me feel this way. But William had a way of accomplishing the unexpected.
“Is that okay?” he asked hesitantly.
“Oh, yeah.” I kept walking, unsure what else to say. It was hard to know what to do with someone who jumbled all my plans.
The heavy clouds overhead emptied tiny flakes of snow on our heads. William twirled his finger again and the snow fell around us like we had an invisible umbrella overhead.
“What perfect weather for my perfect wife.” William gave me a small smile.
I snorted. “I’m far from perfect.”
“But you are the perfect fit for me, and I have documented evidence.” He stopped outside our front door and pulled a small leather notebook from his pocket and handed it to me.
“What’s this?” I ran a finger over the smooth leather.
“It’s my observations. You can read them if you wish.”
“Okay.” I opened to the first page, which held William’s small, precise script.
~After my proposal, Charlotte laughed at a joke someone said. I didn’t understand it, but I would like to learn more so we can laugh about the same things going forward. I want to know how to make her smile.
~Charlotte stated today that she enjoys cinnamon-flavored items. I am considering purchasing cologne with a cinnamon scent. If I associate myself with something she likes, it may increase positive emotional connection.
My eyes widened. “Is this your journal?”
“You could call it that.” His breath puffed in front of him. “It’s a place for me to keep track of practical things. Birthdays, favorite foods, things you dislike. I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget anything important.”
I flipped through a few more pages in the fading evening light, scanning the entries as my eyes misted over.
~It is challenging to articulate, but I believe the feelings I am experiencing may qualify as affection—possibly even love. When I am with Charlotte, my baseline stress levels decrease. I interpret this as a positive sign.
~I kissed Charlotte today at our wedding. The experience was pleasant, both emotionally and physically. I would like to repeat it in the future, provided she is comfortable with that.
~Today, I designated Charlotte as my frostpetal—a symbol of beauty and fragility. I hope I can also become someone of value to her, functionally and emotionally. We both enjoy the snow, and I believe our mutual interests will make it easy to build a connection.
My pulse kicked up a notch. “This makes it sound like you were falling for me before the wedding.”
“I believe I was.”
His admission sent a warm flush through me that countered the chill in the air. “But when you gave me the necklace, you said that ours was a marriage without love,” I said breathlessly.
“That was because I believed you did not love me back,” he said. “The necklace was my attempt to rectify that.”
I took a moment to study him, to reconcile the man in front of me with the one I’d thought I’d known.
He was so much more than I’d expected. I thought I’d had my life all figured out, but the moment I’d said “I do,” everything had tilted.
Maybe that’s what happened when a human married a fae, or maybe it was simply that I’d underestimated William.
With a twirl of his fingers, a mistletoe drifted overhead from where it had hung above a window.
I laughed. “I saw that.”
“Statistically, mistletoe increases the chance of a seasonal kiss.”
“I agree,” I said. “I’d say the odds are in your favor.” Once again, my attention fell to his lips, but this time I didn’t pull back. I bit my lip, a little embarrassed by how much I wanted this.
William tilted his head down to face me, and a single brown curl fell into his eye.
I reached up and brushed it away, then threaded my hands into his curls, something I’d resisted for a while.
His hazel eyes darkened with desire, and his hands tightened on my waist. “Charlotte, I would like to kiss you again. Can—”