Chapter Thirty-Four
“Gone - being away from a place; absent or having departed.”
Frankie
My legs were still trembling and every other part of me tingled with pleasure.
The butterflies in my belly were still fluttering wildly, but now their wings no longer felt sharp.
I knew sex with him would be amazing. My body practically screamed out for him whenever he was near, but I had no idea it would be like that.
If I never had sex with Olly again, I would spend my entire life trying to find someone who would make me feel the way he did.
And I would fail.
There was no one else on this earth like him (which probably was a good thing).
I groaned and stuck my head under the insanely large waterfall showerhead that was raining water from the ceiling. I was in so much trouble.
He was completely maddening. He was selfish, spoiled, looked like a Ken doll, didn’t like sugar, and constantly had to have his way.
Not to mention he worked for the Grim Reaper, killed for a living, and kidnapped my best friend at gunpoint.
He was practically the poster guy for guys a girl shouldn’t bring home to Mom.
I grabbed the shampoo (which smelled insanely good and probably cost a hundred dollars a bottle) and started washing my hair.
He was all of those bad things and more. But there were other parts too.
Parts that he hid from most of the world because they made him vulnerable.
Parts of him that if he allowed out would slowly kill him.
I had a feeling that when Olly hurt, he didn’t just hurt.
He bled. If he allowed himself to feel everything that everyone else felt, his entire world would come crashing down.
A Death Escort couldn’t afford to feel—to live.
He made my heart race. He made me feel challenged, like every day wouldn’t just be the same as the last. And he confided in me.
He told me things about his life, his family, that he hadn’t told anyone.
I realized that he could be lying, but I didn’t think he was.
It would have been easier to make up something simple or to say nothing at all.
I couldn’t imagine what it must have been like to die and then trap himself into a job that would never end to be able to take care of the women he left behind.
And his sister… God, he’d walked around for years and years thinking she died because of something he did.
And if that wasn’t enough, the Reaper was using her against him, bringing it all back up, taunting him.
Not to mention he was completely loaded and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. I guess when you see death constantly, you learn to realize maybe there won’t be a tomorrow.
Hell.
I didn’t hate him.
I didn’t just kind of like him.
I freaking loved him.
Like, no holds barred, give up donuts forever kind of love.
I hurried to finish my shower, partially bummed that he hadn’t come to join me, and shut off the water.
I wanted to see him. I wanted to know if he would look any different to me now that I admitted to myself how in love with him I really was.
Mostly I wanted to assure myself that he was still Olly, still the same guy I left in the kitchen making coffee.
Once dried, I quickly blow-dried my hair, leaving it straight because he didn’t pack my curling iron (he probably didn’t even know what that was).
When it was straight like this, it was longer than it usually appeared and it hung past my chin, falling into a messy bob.
When I left the bathroom and entered my room, I smiled because there was a pile of clean clothes lying across my bed.
They were Olly’s. They were more casual than the other things I’d seen him wear—a pair of dark-gray Nike gym shorts and a white T-shirt with the Nike logo across the front.
I picked up the shirt because it appeared well worn.
It smelled like him. Like the expensive designer cologne he always wore.
I pulled on my bra, a tank top, another pair of lace panties and then stole his tee, sweeping it over my head. I wasn’t a small girl, but his shirt was still big. I didn’t bother with a pair of shorts and went off in search of Olly.
I looked in his room, his adjoining bathroom, and his office at the end of the hall. On the way downstairs, I looked in the family room, the library, and then finally wandered into the kitchen. The rich smell of coffee had me groaning.
“Want me to make some eggs?” I asked, expecting to see him at the table.
He wasn’t there.
“Olly?” I turned, looking toward the fridge and then wandered into the giant pantry.
He wasn’t anywhere.
I went the last place I thought he would be… downstairs in the ring. I smiled thinking of a repeat of this morning.
He wasn’t there either, but our clothes still were.
A feeling of dread enveloped me as I made my way back to the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee. I staved it off as best as I could, but every second, every minute that passed without him bounding into the room to annoy me made the facts harder to ignore.
By the time my second cup of coffee was drained, the razorblades were back in my belly. He wasn’t here. He left. He literally made it impossible not to love him and then he did the one thing he said he wasn’t going to do: he let Olly run away.
Where he went I didn’t know.
All I knew was that he was gone.