Chapter Thirty-Six
“Therapy - the treatment of physical, mental, or social disorders or disease.”
Frankie
I drove his Ferrari to the airport and left it in the long-term parking lot. If it got stolen or damaged, it was his fault for being a wimp and disappearing on me like that.
I mean, really. Did he not know me well enough by now to know I wouldn’t have dissolved in a puddle of simpering tears if he told me he only said those things because he was high on sex?
Or maybe he was just trying to keep his precious face intact because he did know me and he knew I would have rearranged it.
At the ticket counter, I maxed out my credit card buying a flight back to Alaska and sat there at the gate, praying I wouldn’t get sandwiched between someone who liked to talk and someone that smelled like bacon and sweat.
Never mind that my eyes kept straying to the crowd and I hoped to see him pushing through, trying to stop me from leaving.
This wasn’t some movie like Pretty Woman where the rich guy comes riding up in his limo with roses and begs the girl to take him back after he acted like an idiot.
After all, Charming hadn’t acted like an idiot. He was an idiot.
And I certainly wasn’t going to forgive him.
The flight was endless and far less comfortable than the private jet we took to get to Scotland.
I kept praying that I wouldn’t have a panic attack from all the turbulence I felt sitting on the very last seat on the plane.
I knew if I started barfing I wouldn’t stop and it would all likely be blood because those razorblade wings were back and they were making mincemeat out of my belly.
When we finally landed, I pulled my cell phone out of my purse and powered it on. I wasn’t looking to see if he called. I knew he hadn’t. It didn’t stop my heart from plummeting when the only missed calls were from Piper.
Piper. That was a whole other huge mistake. I had four missed calls and four texts from her. We’d barely talked in weeks. I was not only stupid for giving away my heart to the wrong man, but I also ruined a friendship while doing it.
I sent her a quick text: Just getting back into town. We’ll talk soon. And then I threw my phone back into the bottom of my bag.
I took a cab home, spending the last of my cash, and trudged up to my apartment. I dumped my bag on the floor and fell face first into the couch.
That’s when I started crying.
Whoever said “big girls don’t cry” never got their heart broken.
It hurt. A lot. I wished I could just eat a box on donuts, go shopping and watch a bunch of movies where guys got the shaft and get over him, but I couldn’t do that.
I was too busy wondering where he was. If he was okay and if he knew I left.
I turned my head and caught a familiar scent that made me ache all over again. I looked down. I was still wearing his T-shirt. I forgot to take it off.
I should’ve taken it off and lit it on fire. I should’ve run into the kitchen and stick it in the garbage disposal.
I pulled it closer around me.
I was pathetic.
I looked at the posters of Marilyn. She understood heartbreak. She knew how shitty men were.
There was a knock at my door.
“Go away!” I groaned.
The knocking grew louder.
“I said go away!” I yelled.
“I will not go away!” Piper yelled through the wood. “I’m not leaving until you open this door!”
I dragged my pathetic self off the couch and opened the door, then went back to the sofa and did another faceplant. I heard the door shut, but I didn’t bother to see if she took one look at me and hightailed it to safety.
“What happened to you?” she said, coming to stand beside the sofa.
I pushed myself up and swiped the hair out of my face to look at her. Her eyes widened when she looked at me. “Have you been crying?”
I sniffled.
She sighed. “You didn’t stay away from him, did you?”
I shook my head.
She sighed again.
“You fell in love with him.”
I groaned and fell sideways. “I’m so stupid!”
She sat down on the edge, where I wasn’t completely taking up all the space, and patted my back. “Not stupid. I know how easy it is to fall in love with someone like him.”
I blinked back the tears in my eyes. “I didn’t know Dex, but I do know that he wasn’t like Olly.”
“Who?”
“Charming,” I corrected and ignored her look of curiosity.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does.”
“I thought you would hate me. I was so scared to tell you about him.”
“I could never hate you. But you shouldn’t have been scared to tell me. I thought we were best friends. Friends tell each other stuff. Even the hard stuff.”
“Yeah, I know,” I said, my voice hoarse. I wanted to cry all over again. “But you told me to stay away from him. I promised.”
She half-smiled. “That was selfish of me to make you promise. I knew by the look in your eye that day it was too late.”
“What?” I said, incredulous. “I hated him back then. I never hated someone so much.”
“There’s a thin line between love and hate, Frank.”
She was right. Aside from the fact he was completely horrible, I think part of me knew he had the capability of hurting me this way. That he would hurt me this way. I hated him for that too.
“He tried to kill you. How could I fall for someone like that?”
“Dex tried to kill me more than once. I loved him anyway. I still love him.”
“We need therapy,” I said.
She laughed. “Yeah, we really do.”
“Maybe we should start a support group for women who love killers. Just think of all the women who love inmates across America…”
We both laughed.
“I’m really sorry,” I confessed after our laughter died away.
“Aww, Frank, it’s okay. I understand. But don’t ever cut me off like that again. We’re family. Even if I think you’re being an idiot, I’ll still love you.”
“So you do think I’m an idiot,” I said, trying not to get all emotional over her understanding.
“What happened?” she asked.
I got up and scooted over, making more room for her on the couch.
Then I pulled the Tiffany-blue throw off the back and wrapped it around my shoulders.
I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know how much to say…
Piper was my best friend, my family, but some of the things I shared with Charming had felt so private…
so mine that I didn’t really want to share them.
She must have sensed my hesitation because she got up and went into the kitchen, and I heard her opening and shutting cabinets and filling the kettle with water.
A few minutes later she came back with two mugs of steaming hot tea.
It was the Ginger Twist kind she loved and I kept here for her.
She handed me a mug and I wrapped my hands around it.
The warmth that radiated into my hands reminded me of riding in his Porsche with the heated seats.
A sob caught in the back of my throat and I took a sip of tea to push it down.
The tea had honey in it. A lot of honey.
Just the way I liked it. I gave Piper a watery smile.
“He drove me nuts. From the minute I first laid eyes on him, he got under my skin. And then he kidnapped you. When he walked into the DMV that day, all I could think of was calling the cops. But I couldn’t.”
Piper nodded and sipped her tea.
“Instead, I vowed that I would get in his way. Stop him from doing to anyone else what he did to you.” I took a breath and finally admitted the truth. “But that was just an excuse. An excuse to be near him.”
“You loved him even then,” Piper said and I shook my head in vehement denial.
“No. Maybe.” I sighed. “I don’t know.”
“But the more I saw him… the more I saw. You know? There are so many layers to him… so much he hides.”
“He was like a puzzle that you wanted to figure out. Pieces that you just had to align.”
“Yes,” I said, the butterflies in my stomach acting up again. She did get it. She knew exactly what I meant. “I could never make excuses for what he does, what he’s done. I hate it, but…”
“But you don’t hate him.”
“No. I don’t.”
“Maybe he is just as much a victim in all of this as everyone else,” she said quietly, shocking the crap out of me.
“How can you say that?” I asked, fortifying myself with more honey with tea.
“I don’t know why Charming became an Escort, but if he was in any kind of position like Dex was, then he probably didn’t have a choice. Sometimes people get caught up in things and then they don’t know how to get out.”
“Dex did,” I said, the words falling from my lips before I could stop them.
“Yes, he did. And it cost him his life.” Her eyelashes swept down, hiding her hurt. I started to apologize, but her quiet words shocked me, cutting off whatever I was about to say. “Sometimes I wish he hadn’t found a way out because then he’d still be here. With me.”
Her words sank into me, squeezing my heart and making it hard to breath. “Piper,” I whispered.
“I know. For him to still be here would mean I would have to be dead. But sometimes I still think…” She shook her head.
What it must be costing her sitting here talking to me about this. She’d already been through so much. I let the subject drop, not wanting her to have to relive anymore. As hurt as I was by Charming, I knew that it was nothing compared to what I would be feeling if he were dead.
“Did he try to kill you?” she asked.
I laughed. “No.” That probably would be easier than this. “He… he showed me the person he was beneath the charm. I thought it was the real him. And then he disappeared. It was all just to get me into bed.”
She gasped. “You slept with him?!”
I looked at her. “Well, I never claimed to be a nun!”
She grinned. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
She rolled her eyes. “How was it?”
I sighed. “He totally rocked my world.”
She grinned again.
“He used to be a boxer. He has these boxing gloves…” I felt heat pooling between my legs and I clamped my lips shut. Reliving sex with Charming wasn’t going to make this any easier.
“You know what we need?” Piper declared.
“What?”
“Pizza. Soda. Candy. And a bunch of horror movies where the dumb virgins run up the stairs instead of out the front door. It will make us feel better about ourselves for not being that stupid and for not being virgins.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Who you getting it on with?”
“Please. It’s been so long I might as well be a virgin.”
I laughed. “Someday, sista, someday.”
“Not anytime soon,” she said, getting up and grabbing the phone, but not before I caught yet another flash of hurt in her eyes. “I’ll order the pizza. Go raid the stash of candy you have hidden in your underwear drawer.”
I made a sound of mock surprise. “I do not have candy in there.” Then I went off to get it because that’s exactly where I kept it.
In my room, I pushed past the lace panties knowing they were all gonna have to go in the trash.
I would never be able to wear another pair of those again without thinking about the things I did with Charming while wearing a pair.
I loaded up on candy and then I remembered my emergency stash.
The box of truffles I kept hidden in my closet.
I dumped what I was holding on my bed and went to my closet, pulling open the door.
My eye caught something it didn’t recognize.
I looked.
I looked again.
I forgot all about the truffles, stood there, and stared.
At the body hanging in my closet.