Chapter Twelve
What about being friends?
After the flower exploding incident, I fled to the nearest tent that looked unoccupied, hoping to escape my humiliation. Remy found me minutes later amongst stacks of purple storage boxes.
“I’m embarrassing,” I groaned, face still burning hot.
We weren’t supposed to be in here, but the need for an enclosed space overruled my desire to follow etiquette.
Remy stood in front of me, her wand bag tightly grasped at her side. “Your magic is like an emotional amplifier.”
It truly was, and I did not like that. Every professor said our magic was tied to our emotions this week, and they really weren’t lying. It responded to everything I felt, and it spoke louder than I ever could. Or would for that matter.
Was I not allowed to keep any cards close to my chest anymore?
“I don’t know what my deal is,” I grumbled and let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m thirty-five years old with an eighteen-year-old kid. I’m too old to be acting like this.”
Shame, shame, shame. Someone call a therapist.
My arms wrapped around my waist. Apparently, having magical powers wasn’t enough newness for me right now.
I had to go and develop a crush on trouble.
Not that Rylan had been trouble to me, at least not in the ways I’d experienced from men in my youth, but he wasn’t a normal guy either.
That meant trouble. Trouble I didn’t want or need.
Remy shifted from one foot to another with a soft expression. “I think this experience has taught us that you’re never too old for anything. Starting a new life, learning magic, wanting to fuck. Just look at Imogene and the others in this castle.”
She had a point.
She knew it, and so did I. Hence why she kept building upon her statement.
“Rylan McKenzie is the top bachelor in this castle. He’s not my type but I’ve known him for many years, and he is a good man.
He’s ambitious, likes a challenge, and will always stack the cards in his favor.
He’s genuine and wants to improve the world for everyone.
” She placed a hand on my shoulder, and my whole body froze as to not spook her.
We could be near hugging territory, and I could use one.
“You get to decide what to do with the data provided by your emotions. Fuck him, date him, ignore him, or glow. That’s the power of autonomy.”
Her little pep talk did wonders for my mood and I felt myself relaxing.
“Thanks, Remy.” I dropped my arms and took a deep breath. She was right. Of course she was. This whole thing with Rylan wasn’t anything new. I’d had crushes before, granted it had been a while, but I decided what I did with those feelings. I could do the same now with or without magic.
My roommate’s hand retreated to her side. “Are you ready to go back out to the fair? We could see the animals next.”
The disappointment in my gut from the lack of hug was replaced by an eager flutter. I’d read about familiars this week in preparation for the fair. The potential to connect with a creature that guided me and connected with my magic thrilled me.
Plus, the lack of nurturing something made me feel restless. I loved being a mom to Piper. To be needed and taking care of her fulfilled me. Now I had nothing to mother. A pet seemed like a natural step to care for something. Otherwise, I’d use that trait on unwilling subjects…like my roommate.
“Yes. Let’s do this.”
Remy nodded and opened the canvas flaps for me to exit.
I saw Rylan’s broad form standing outside the tent, looking away from us at first. If he turned when we exited, I didn’t see. A body slammed into mine. White hair blocked my view, while orange sleeved arms wrapped around me tightly.
“Don’t worry, darling. If it’s acceptable for men to prematurely ejaculate, then we women can have the magical equivalent,” Imogene said loudly, and I wanted to crawl back into the enclosed tent.
Once she released me, I thanked her with a nod and faced the group. My eyes lingered on Rylan first and then the others.
“You guys go ahead. I’ll catch up at the familiar’s tent.” Even without me specifying, they knew I didn’t mean for Rylan to go.
They left without a word, and then it was just the billionaire and me standing away from the crowd, waiting for each other to speak first.
“I—” we said at the same time, and I shook my head.
“I’ll start,” I said and took a deep breath. “I’m being weird toward you, and it’s not fair. You’ve been nothing but nice, and I’m sorry. This whole thing is overwhelming and being newly magical is fucking up my operating system here.”
His gaze shot upward, and his lips tightened for a moment. Was he fighting back a smile or a laugh?
“I get that. And you’re not weird.” He stepped closer, and I meant to step back to keep distance between us, but my feet remained still. “You’ve got good energy. My magic feels something around you, and I like it.”
My magic responded to his too, and while the sensation was pleasant, it felt like I wasn’t in control of myself.
That I didn’t like.
My hand shot up to stop him from getting closer, and he paused. His stormy eyes stared into mine, clearly wanting to know all my secrets. He’d be disappointed if he thought a challenge laid behind my green eyes.
“I’m trying to figure out who I am and what I want for my life right now. Of course, I’m attracted to you. Hell, I’m sure many people in the world are attracted to you. But I just want to focus on my life right now.”
“What about being friends?” he asked quickly, like he needed to know there was more to us than being classmates. Magic swirled around us like a warm breeze then vanished.
Could I be friends with Rylan?
I shrugged. “As long as you quit with the flirty vibes, we can aim for friends.”
Rylan laughed and shook his head, retreating a step. “Flirty vibes are my nature. No promises there. But I will stop trying to kiss you.”
He’d wanted to kiss me.
He’d said those words, and now all I wanted was his mouth on mine.
Dammit.
“Alright, McKenzie, we can be friends.”
I walked away as I spoke because the thought of us lip-locked was almost enough to make me say, “screw it,” and pull him into a tent to give those lips a test run.