16. Chapter 16
Chapter 16
Tessa
“ S o, what’s going on between you and my brother?” Beau asked, waggling his eyebrows at me.
I choked on my drink before slamming it down on the table. Reagan, who stole Finn’s spot next to me when Audrey brought her a plate of leftovers, smacked me on the back. I did my best to hide the accompanying wince, my lungs momentarily forgetting how to breathe. While many of my bruises had faded, cracked ribs took longer to heal.
After I recovered, I looked at Beau. “What are you talking about?”
Beau and Knox glanced at each other, sharing a look with one another before turning their scrutiny back on me.
My face heated at their contemplative inspection. As someone who was always found lacking, the intensity of their analysis made me nervous.
“Come on,” Knox coaxed. “I’ve known my brother longer than anyone here, except my parents, and I can confidently say I’ve never seen him look at a woman the way he looks at you. Not even that witch he dated in high school, and that was the most serious relationship he’s had to date.”
My blush intensified at his words while something icy slithered through my gut at the mention of Finn’s dating history. While it was beyond flattering to think that a man like Finn could be interested in someone like me, deep down I knew it would never happen. And if what Knox said was true, the fact Finn hadn’t had a serious relationship since high school spoke volumes about his attitude toward dating. I wasn’t na?ve enough to think that I would be the one to change his views.
“Please,” I said, brushing off his comment. “No one would believe Finn and I were together.”
“And why the hell not?” Reagan demanded before grabbing a garlic roll from the basket in front of her. “You’re tall, gorgeous, and have a rack most women would kill for. He would be lucky to worship at your feet.”
I vaguely registered Knox was staring at Reagan as I dipped my head forward, hiding behind the veil my hair created. While I was flattered, I wasn’t used to people who talked this openly. Besides, even if his initial reactions conveyed a different story, Finn made it abundantly clear he wasn’t interested in me that way when he stormed out of the bathroom after we returned from the doctor.
While I was initially wary at the idea of being touched by a man, Finn’s presence didn’t set off alarm bells the way I knew any other male’s presence would have. My mind relived that moment so many times, questioning whether the way my skin tingled and my breathing increased were truly signs of desire. Before I could come to a conclusion, Finn disappeared, leaving me with more questions than answers.
“I appreciate that, Reagan. But come on,” I added, gesturing to myself. “Finn and I couldn’t be more different if we tried.”
Beau chuckled while looking me up and down. The dark brown eyes he shared with his brothers twinkled as his grin grew. “I got news for you, Tessa. Some men like knowing the women we’re with aren’t going to snap like a twig when we make them see God.”
Reagan snorted and picked up her glass to take a sip. “Thinking a little highly of yourself there, aren’t you baby Remington?” she taunted.
Beau grabbed a roll from the basket and threw it at her. She ducked, letting it sail by her head. Clearly used to their antics, Knox rolled his eyes.
God, what I wouldn’t give to have a family like this.
Audrey walked into the room, glaring at someone beyond the doorway before hurrying over to the table. Her eyes dropped to the garlic roll that landed on the floor before bending down to retrieve it. Turning toward her two sons, her eyes narrowed while she attempted to determine the culprit. Both men pasted innocent looks on their faces, pointing at the other. Sighing heavily, Audrey turned to me, smiled, and picked up the basket of rolls that served as ammunition moments earlier.
“Tessa, dear, would you mind helpin’ me bring the dessert plates in? I decided to use the fine China, and as much as I love my boys, I don’t trust them not to chuck one of my grandmother’s plates like a frisbee if someone says somethin’ that pisses them off.”
I returned her smile and rose from the table. “Of course, Mrs. Remington. I’d be happy to help.”
Audrey waved her hand and pursed her lips before correcting me. “It’s Audrey to you, dear. Family doesn’t stand on formality in this house.”
My eyes watered while I turned toward the kitchen. This woman, who I met only days ago, called me family. It wasn’t something I deserved, and it would certainly never be true, but the notion warmed something deep inside me.
I turned the corner as I left the dining room. Emotionally overwhelmed by the evening and preoccupied with my thoughts, I nearly collided with a wall of muscle, only avoiding a collision thanks to Finn’s lightning-fast reflexes.
“S-sorry,” I stammered, looking up at Finn. His eyes appeared troubled. He studied me for several beats, his shoulders tense, and his lips pressed into a thin line.
Finally, he snapped out of whatever train of thought he was stuck on and handed me the plates he was carrying. “Not your fault,” he said. “I’ll grab more plates from the kitchen.” He turned and walked away.
I stared after him, confused by what upset him so much. Before I had time to overthink it, he returned carrying the remaining plates. He passed them around the table before taking the seat Reagan vacated.
Audrey hustled back into the room, straightening what I was just now noticing was slightly off-kilter clothing. Jake followed close behind, his clothing in a similar state of disarray.
Reagan pulled up a chair on the other side of Finn while everyone sat down. Several pairs of eyes bounced between Audrey, whose cheeks were slightly pink and Jake, whose hair was askew. Understanding seemed to dawn on everyone around the table as Beau moaned about how he didn’t want to know about his parents’ sex lives.
Audrey tsked at her youngest before she admonished him. “There is nothing wrong with two committed adults taking a moment to show one another affection. Honestly, you kids should be so lucky to be as enamored with your spouse after close to forty years together as the day you met.” Gagging noises reverberated around the room while Audrey rolled her eyes. Jake’s rich chuckle reverberated around the room, his adoration for his wife evident when he gazed at her from the other end of the table.
I couldn’t help the smile that crept across my face thanks to the family surrounding the table. Despite everyone here being grossed out by their parents, I found myself wondering if my parents would experience the same kind of love if they were still alive.
My wistful thoughts floated into the ether when everyone dug into their carrot cake, a chorus of moans of appreciation echoing around the table.
“Tessa,” Audrey exclaimed. “This is the best carrot cake I’ve ever had. Where on earth did you learn to make it?”
“My mother was an amazing baker. She and I spent a lot of time in the kitchen making various desserts, but this was always our favorite. We made it so often that I had the recipe memorized by the time I was ten. I’ve never been very good at cooking, and while I didn’t inherit her talent in the kitchen, this is one of the few things I can usually make without causing some kind of catastrophe.” I grinned with pride before flushing when I recalled the disaster I made in Finn’s kitchen the day before. Finn’s smirk, followed by a light cough, made me think he was trying not to laugh at the memory of the shambles I left his kitchen in.
Audrey’s eyes softened at the mention of my late mother. Reaching across the table, she rested her hand lightly on top of my forearm. “I’m sure she would be incredibly proud of the woman you’ve become,” she declared.
My eyes prickled with tears at the sentiment, doubt lining each dark crevice inside me while I wondered whether she was right. Unable to hold her stare any longer, I focused on eating my carrot cake.
Audrey patted my arm once more before switching topics and regaling the table with stories of the boys when they were growing up.
“Do you remember when Finn started dating Susan Mayfield?” Beau asked the table. I felt Finn stiffen beside me and his brother continued. “I think that’s when Ma started stuffing condoms into all of our pockets.”
“Yeah, she was relentless about that. When I went off to college, she used to include them in my care packages,” Knox recalled. “But she backed off after I graduated,” he mused.
Beau’s expression grew contemplative when he confirmed, “Yeah, that’s when she stopped sending me them, too.”
Jake snort laughed into his drink as Audrey shrugged. “You were adults at that point. I figured if I hadn’t drilled the importance of protection into your heads by that point, then I had failed you as a parent and might as well start over with a grandkid.”
The room went silent while all three brothers stared at their mother, their expressions a mix of incredulity and dismay. Burning embarrassment crept up my neck and turned my face the color of a fire hydrant.
Audrey looked around the table. “What?” she asked innocently.
The entire room dissolved into fits of laughter. Once everyone managed to compose themselves, Beau’s eyes bounced between Finn and I before he pounced. “So, what did you two crazy kids get up to while you were snowed in together for days…just the two of you…all alone in a mountain cabin with no adult supervision?”
Finn glowered at his brother while Jake and Knox simultaneously whacked him along the back side of the head. Beau turned to his father, a baffled look on his face when he asked, “What? It was an innocent question.” His grin turned mischievous. “I’m sure they played lots of board games.”
Finn wiped his mouth with his napkin as he continued to glare at his youngest brother. “Actually, we watched quite a bit of Outlander.”
Audrey sat straighter in her chair. “That’s right. I completely forgot that I left that at your place.” She leaned toward me, her tone dropping conspiratorially. “That Jamie Fraser sure is nice to look at, isn’t he?”
I rolled my lips together to stifle my laughter while Jake feigned indignation at Audrey’s question.
Audrey attempted to soothe Jake’s ruffled feathers. “Now, now, Jacob. You know there’s only one stud I think about when I go to bed.”
All three brothers gagged again at their mother’s comment while Reagan howled with laughter.
After Finn’s warning the day before, I was apprehensive about meeting his family. But after spending the last few hours with them, the only emotion I could feel was gratitude. Gratitude that they allowed me a glimpse behind the curtain of their family. Gratitude that they reminded me what being part of a family felt like. Gratitude that they reminded me what I hoped to one day have for myself.
If only I could be a part of this family , I thought wistfully as the conversation turned and they continued to tease one another.
After dinner, Finn and I bundled back up before making our way out to his truck. He was in good spirts throughout dinner, but his demeanor toward me remained as cool on the drive home as it had been since he disappeared to help with dessert.
A dull ache pulsated throughout my head while I wracked my brain for something that would account for Finn’s drastic change in demeanor.
When we walked in the house, Luka met us at the door, tail wagging in greeting. Finn gave him a brief pet before resetting the alarm system. Having come up with nothing that would explain Finn’s behavior, I attempted to get us back to the easy comradery we had only a few hours before.
“Your family’s amazing,” I said after Finn let Luka out into the backyard. Finn continued to avoid looking in my direction, a slight nod his only acknowledgment that he even heard me speak. My hands began to play with the hem of my shirt, my nervous tick rearing its head once more.
He opened the door, letting Luka back inside before turning toward me. His gaze zeroed in on the way my hands wound themselves within the fabric, a look of confusion crossing his face as anger sparked behind his eyes. Unsure what caused it, but knowing I had nothing to fear from him, I decided to put us both out of our misery.
“Alright, well, I’m going to head to bed. Thank you for including me tonight. It’s been a long time since I took part in an actual family dinner, and I’m grateful I was invited.”
Finn continued to stare at me, an array of emotions flickering behind his eyes despite his silence. Resolving that it was not my place to push him into a conversation he didn’t want, I gave him a brief smile before turning toward my room.
“Goodnight, Finn,” I said, glancing over my shoulder. My steps halted when Finn’s mouth opened. I stood completely still while I waited for him to give some kind of hint about what was bothering him, but no words fell from his lips. Deciding to let him off the hook, I gave him another smile and turned to make my way down the hallway.
As I crossed the threshold to the hall, Finn’s voice called after me.
“Goodnight, Tessa.”
I turned and studied his face, more confused than ever when I saw longing etched across his features. But that couldn’t be , I chided myself before I turned and headed toward my room.
A man like Finn would never want someone like me.